How do I leave my digital media to my wife and kids?

[EugW]

Our immediate family consists of myself, my wife, and two kids. As dutiful parents should, we have set up wills, etc. However, I've been thinking more about stuff that wills can't easily handle, in this Information Age.

For some stuff I've been making backups of my un-DRM'd media (like lots of MP3 files and AAC files I made from my extensive CD collection) and important documents. I've put them on hard drives and stuffed them in a safety deposit box at my bank. I will also write down my passwords and put them there too, as well as tell them to my wife.

However, a lot of our personal photos are in Photos under my account. I've actually exported many of those pix and have them on those hard drives too, but over time this is going to get unmanageable. It's hard to export >300 GB of photos. Photos sometimes freaks out and crashes. The other option is just to go into the database and drag the photos or even the entire database to an external drive, but it would take some computer savviness to get at the photos from the latter. Would they run into permissions issues this way?

Also, what about iTunes purchases? I can just give them my password, but that doesn't seem like a great solution in the long term, and neither does Family Sharing. Is there any way to transfer to say my kids?

iCloud is also a solution in part, but again, we run into these account issues. I may end up putting all my photos on iCloud anyway just for convenience's sake, but so far I've preferred managing this locally, partially for cost and partially because iCloud settings have screwed me over in the past.

I'm trying to think through the best way to deal with all of this.

And no, I'm not expecting to die anytime soon, but I could get hit by a car tomorrow, and I want the wife and kids to be able to access this stuff easily, without having to become the MacRumors nerd I am.

 

[DeepIn2U]

Hmm. A VERY sound inquiry, and very thoughtful.

I don’t have an answer but it’s something that would be great to field to Cook, Cue, Federighi and maybe even Schiller and Apple legal team.

for my part, if you’re comfortable will share on Twitter as I’ve never seen this over Apple’s internal support forums or supper pages. Honestly, either by living or internal security they’ve probably not implemented or thought of a well rounded solution.

 

[frozenoem1]

Backup to external drives, cover your posterior.

Clouds can be hacked, stuff does happen. Regardless of maker of os.

Trust me it’ll be easier to have physical backup than have Apple say , we can’t recover it.

Ever have that happen to cell, ipad, etc. it’s a kick somewhere south of the equator. Has happened to a few friends.

Recovered by non-Apple recovery and reworking solder joints.

 

[EugW]

So I just tried the Photos database loading thing.

A few days ago I had copied my Photos database from my Mojave iMac to an external SSD. Today, I used my Catalina MacBook logged in under my wife's account and connected up that external SSD and tried to open that Photos database. The good news it accessed the database just fine. The bad news is that it needed to update the database and that took several hours. The other good news though is that I could access the original files within the database without updating them.

So it's good for this purpose the pictures aren't locked to my account password, but it might be a little daunting to some users, since you have to tell the software to switch Photos databases and then (at least if it's a different OS/Photos version) let it sit for several hours hoping it will convert the entire database successfully.

What I think I will do is continue to backup the Photos database to external drive, but will very occasionally export the images. Most importantly, I will create a document and print a hardcopy describing what the various backups represent and how to access them. Even if my wife can't figure out how to do this (even after I tell her how to do it), the explanation will allow a third party to do it easily. If the family needs to spend a couple of hundred bucks to get some computer guy to set it up for them, then so be it.

For my iTunes database, I actually much prefer its organization than the Photos database. The Photos database doesn't work on my NAS so that's why I have it stored on my iMac. However, my iTunes database works just fine on my NAS. Moreover, the way the database is organized is via a folder structure that is very user friendly. So, for my self-encoded MP3/AAC files, it is dead easy for any third party user to access its files.

I'll have to check how to deal with my iTunes purchases though. Lately I've been buying iTunes songs instead of CDs and encoding them myself. I often would still prefer to have the physical CD (since encoding the discs can be done so quickly on modern hardware), but the problem is stores selling CDs have become uncommon and often the pricing is much higher than iTunes, or else are just unavailable, especially if they are lesser known musicians. For example, I just purchased Agnes Obel's Philharmonics (Deluxe Edition) on iTunes for CAD$12.99. On Amazon.ca the Deluxe Edition doesn't even exist and the non-Deluxe edition is $17.99 (whereas it's $9.99 on iTunes). So, it looks like going forward, most of my song purchases will be on iTunes.

And then iTunes movies are yet another matter. I have iTunes Canada purchases, and then purchases on a US account that is linked to Movies Anywhere, etc.

for my part, if you’re comfortable will share on Twitter as I’ve never seen this over Apple’s internal support forums or supper pages. Honestly, either by living or internal security they’ve probably not implemented or thought of a well rounded solution.

Feel free.

I'm old school and don't have either twitter or facebook accounts actually.

 

[glenthompson]

My wife and I use the same passwords on our hardware so we can each get into the others device when needed. We use 1Password Families for passwords and can access each other’s vaults to sign into accounts. If one of us dies the other can still access everything. In the event both of us die, our son knows where the information Is that he needs to Handle things. All our App Store purchases are made under a different account that we both use. We started this before family sharing was a thing.

I suggest you look into the rules on a safe deposit box regarding access if you die. Even if your wife has access the bank may freeze access to the box.

 

[EugW]

Given that my wife would be the primary beneficiary and the executor of the will, she would have access to the safety deposit box, but I’ll confirm that next time we speak with the lawyer.

I was not aware of the family option of 1password. I will look into that thx.

 

[Expos of 1969]

Also keep in mind if you have 2FA set up on any accounts tied to your cell phone number. Once you are gone, others may not have access to your phone and once your cell account has been cancelled, they certainly won't have access to that number any longer.

There are many issues with the future of "modern" records many of us create (photos etc.) No guarantees that whatever medium they are stored on will be able to be read and accessed by whatever technology is used years from now. In some ways, we are creating a headache for our survivors.

Also, I think in many cases we overestimate how interested our survivors will be in our vast collection of whatever (music, photos etc.)

Probably best to make old fashioned prints of really important and loved photos and create photo albums which will be accessible for years (barring fire, flood or theft of course).

Important issue which many are discussing and thinking about.
[automerge]1590909819[/automerge]

Given that my wife would be the primary beneficiary and the executor of the will, she would have access to the safety deposit box, but I’ll confirm that next time we speak with the lawyer.

I was not aware of the family option of 1password. I will look into that thx.

Safety deposit boxes are normally frozen to even executors until the estate has been settled which can take a year depending upon circumstances. They may let you open to do an inventory required for the estate but don't let you remove items to take away. Circumstances may vary depending upon where you reside.

 

[Scepticalscribe]

An excellent, thoughtful and thought-provoking thread.

Thanks to the OP for starting it.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I’ve given this subject a fair bit of thought over the years. My trouble is more my wife is not very tech savvy. She would struggle with a lot of the basics in managing files etc.
Should she go first, then it doesn’t really matter. It will all most likely end up in land fill as there is no one else.

 

[EugW]

There are many issues with the future of "modern" records many of us create (photos etc.) No guarantees that whatever medium they are stored on will be able to be read and accessed by whatever technology is used years from now. In some ways, we are creating a headache for our survivors.

I have been making multiple copies and and updating them periodically. However, I was wondering how to maximize the reliability and ease of transfer in the future.

I think the bigger problem may be my iTunes purchases.

Also, I think in many cases we overestimate how interested our survivors will be in our vast collection of whatever (music, photos etc.)

Probably best to make old fashioned prints of really important and loved photos and create photo albums which will be accessible for years (barring fire, flood or theft of course).

Most of the photos are my wife’s actually, and she wants them, as they include tons of pix of the kids. Prints wouldn’t cut it. She likes looking at videos created by Photos for example.

As for the music, they don’t share most of my tastes but then again I have hundreds of physical CDs with hundreds of GB of AAC and MP3 files made from them and catalogued in iTunes, so it’s not just something to ignore.

Moreover, a significant portion of my iTunes music purchases are their music actually, purchased with my account info.

Safety deposit boxes are normally frozen to even executors until the estate has been settled which can take a year depending upon circumstances. They may let you open to do an inventory required for the estate but don't let you remove items to take away. Circumstances may vary depending upon where you reside.

I’m in Canada. The safety deposit box for my dad was not frozen for me when I acted as the executor for his estate. That was a long time ago though.

However, I believe the intent was that if there was anything of value in the safety deposit deposit, it would need to be shared as per the will. In his case though, there was nothing of major value in there. It was mostly documents and keys.

 

[Expos of 1969]

I have been making multiple copies and and updating them periodically. However, I was wondering how to maximize the reliability and ease of transfer in the future.

I think the bigger problem may be my iTunes purchases.


Most of the photos are my wife’s actually, and she wants them, as they include tons of pix of the kids. Prints wouldn’t cut it. She likes looking at videos created by Photos for example.

As for the music, they don’t share most of my tastes but then again I have hundreds of physical CDs with hundreds of GB of AAC and MP3 files made from them and catalogued in iTunes, so it’s not just something to ignore.

Moreover, a significant portion of my iTunes music purchases are their music actually, purchased with my account info.


I’m in Canada. The safety deposit box for my dad was not frozen for me when I acted as the executor for his estate. That was a long time ago though.

However, I believe the intent was that if there was anything of value in the safety deposit deposit, it would be need to be shared as per the will. In his case though, there was nothing of major value in there. It was mostly documents and keys.

If your wife wants all the photos of the kids I suggest she opens a a Google Photos account (paid one as t may be safer than the free tier) and then have the photos copied to that account. I have done this so my wife can access things under her name and account if something happens to me. I am not a huge fan gof Google but Google Photos is good. That could be the first "cloud" storage for her. Then hard drives are a second option.

iTunes is another situation. If in your account then survivors will have to access your account for as long as they can. But lets not kid ourselves, as people age tastes change and they may not want much of the music in your account. Also, with streaming at 10 bucks a month these days, no need to keep all purchased media.

It all seems so crucial and important now but things change. We obsess too much (in my opinion) over "things".

 

[EugW]

If your wife wants all the photos of the kids I suggest she opens a a Google Photos account (paid one as t may be safer than the free tier) and then have the photos copied to that account. I have done this so my wife can access things under her name and account if something happens to me. I am not a huge fan gof Google but Google Photos is good. That could be the first "cloud" storage for her. Then hard drives are a second option.

Why not iCloud?

Also, does Google Photos keep the full rez of the video intact for Live Photos?

 

[Expos of 1969]

Why not iCloud?

It could be iCloud of course. Personally after 22 years of using Apple products/services I have stopped (due to their attitude, lowering of quality control, prices, lying and not being transparent) but this is not the thread to debate that.

Recently let my subscription to Apple Music stop and for more than a year had my photos in both Apple Photos and Google Photos. In a few days I will be letting my iCloud subscription stop as well, so no more Apple Photos.

 

[DeepIn2U]

Feel free.

I'm old school and don't have either twitter or facebook accounts actually.

Thank you.
Link to the twitter post:

https://twitter.com/x/status/1267161416756269056

 

[subjonas]

Good thread. I’ve thought about this too, but need to give it more thought.

I think the bigger problem may be my iTunes purchases.

The issue with digital purchases is they’re basically rentals. Ultimately you’re at the mercy of the platform/license owners. That’s why I stopped iTunes purchases and went back to CDs and Blu-rays, so that I can have total control over my purchases. It’s more expensive since you can’t buy single music tracks and Blu-rays tend to cost more than digital versions, but waiting for deals can even it out. The bigger issue is the hassle of delayed purchases and having to rip, but until iTunes can sell original quality, DRM-free content, it’s the only viable choice for me.

But hopefully the powers that be will deem it worthy to make a way to pass on account ownership..

Also, with streaming at 10 bucks a month these days, no need to keep all purchased media.

The key phrase is “these days”. Who knows what the music scene will look in the future. There is no guarantee. And personally, 90% of streaming music these days is not listenable for me. For people who like what they like and only occasionally find anything they want to add to their library, and especially people who don’t like seeing even a dollar to go waste, keeping purchasing media makes sense. I know for myself, I would have loved to inherit media collections from my ancestors, if they were good collections. Good things are timeless.

 

[ucfgrad93]

Online back ups and make sure everyone has the password.

 

[subjonas]

Online back ups and make sure everyone has the password.

That doesn’t really solve everything. It would be a real hassle for survivors to have to manage multiple accounts indefinitely, and sign in and out of each account to listen to certain songs for example.

 

[Tech198]

As far as digital goes,i hate to say, but i wouldn't trust it... I'd just physical copies more..

Although they can also degrade over time, they would still last longer due to fie corruption. hard drives become unreadable at some stage. (and lets not forget, would need constant maintenance to keep them going.)

Is not like you can backup a hard drive,, and leave i for 10 years without ever powering it on.

That doesn’t really solve everything. It would be a real hassle for survivors to have to manage multiple accounts indefinitely, and sign in and out of each account to listen to certain songs for example.

...then what do you say "for convenience, i can use the same credentials for all"

that opens up even more risk.. but i wouldn't trust my valuables to anyone."in the cloud" who knows when and f they get attacked at one point long after..

I guess even keeping physical hard copies, is not good if your house get robbed, but there is no "one-size-that-fits-all" neither.

 

[Apple fanboy]

As far as digital goes,i hate to say, but i wouldn't trust it... I'd just physical copies more..

Although they can also degrade over time, they would still last longer due to fie corruption. hard drives become unreadable at some stage. (and lets not forget, would need constant maintenance to keep them going.)

Is not like you can backup a hard drive,, and leave i for 10 years without ever powering it on.



...then what do you say "for convenience, i can use the same credentials for all"

that opens up even more risk.. but i wouldn't trust my valuables to anyone."in the cloud" who knows when and f they get attacked at one point long after..

I guess even keeping physical hard copies, is not good if your house get robbed, but there is no "one-size-that-fits-all" neither.

Plus the interface changes. Hard enough to get an adapter for a FireWire drive. Imagine who much more difficult that would be in a decade.
Plus if I had anyone interested in my digital legacy are they really going to open my drive and go through the 1000’s of photos?

Having gone through the process with my wife when her mother died you can’t keep everything. You have a million choices to make about the physical stuff. I think no one is going to have the time to fire up an old drive or computer (assuming they have the password) and sort through that as well.

 

[glenthompson]

As far as digital goes,i hate to say, but i wouldn't trust it... I'd just physical copies more..

Although they can also degrade over time, they would still last longer due to fie corruption. hard drives become unreadable at some stage. (and lets not forget, would need constant maintenance to keep them going.)
. . .

I guess even keeping physical hard copies, is not good if your house get robbed, but there is no "one-size-that-fits-all" neither.

How are those Betamax tapes holding up for you? A lot of older technologies had their issues. 8 track tapes wore themselves out. Any tape tech has problems with bleed from layer to layer. Improperly washed photographs can get fixer stains. Documents on non-archival paper goes bad. One of the advantages of digital is the ease of having multiple copies and moving to new media.

 

[Apple fanboy]

How are those Betamax tapes holding up for you? A lot of older technologies had their issues. 8 track tapes wore themselves out. Any tape tech has problems with bleed from layer to layer. Improperly washed photographs can get fixer stains. Documents on non-archival paper goes bad. One of the advantages of digital is the ease of having multiple copies and moving to new media.

I’d say you have a much better chance of passing photos to the next generation if they are printed. Definitely to the generation after that. I’ve seen photographs of my Great Grandads. Can’t really imagine your great grand kids opening up your cloud storage or hard drives.

 

[Mousse]

As far as digital goes,i hate to say, but i wouldn't trust it... I'd just physical copies more..

Although they can also degrade over time, they would still last longer due to fie corruption. hard drives become unreadable at some stage. (and lets not forget, would need constant maintenance to keep them going.)

Is not like you can backup a hard drive,, and leave i for 10 years without ever powering it on.

Yarp. One other thing about HD back up. Will the computers 10 years from now be able connect to those HD? You'll need to place a working computer in the vault so they can access those HD 10, 20, or 50 years from now. I've got several crates full of 5.25 and 3.5 floppies that I can no longer access because technology marches on. I've got a box full of Zip disks and I kept the Zip drive. But it's a FireWire Zip drive.

If not for my keeping my ancient VHS player in around, I'd have a bunch of tapes I wouldn't be able to watch.

 

[Clix Pix]

One day a few years ago it suddenly dawned on me that my older external drives filled with photo files would soon be inaccessible if I didn't do something promptly about rescuing everything from them. They had firewire and the computer I'd bought recently did not. I was able to get a FW adapter and use that to painstakingly and patiently transfer the data from the older drives to several larger-capacity HDD which would be more useable by the computer then and into the future. Then when I bought the 2018 MBP with its again different ports, I knew what to do: simply immediately bought a few cables which had the appropriate connector on one end for the drives and on the other end USB-C, so at least I still have access to the archival drives, although for the most part I am now using external SSDs for my current backups and supplementary files.

I figure that when I'm gone my niece and nephew won't care all that much about my photos, since most of them are not photos of the family anyway, but they will appreciate the old albums filled with prints from their grandparents and others, some of which I have and some of which my brother-in-law has. They'll also be more interested in family memorabilia from my late husband and their father, and older items from their grandparents, too. My niece and nephew are each busy with their own families now and both live in fairly small houses so I don't think they would have a lot of room to store too much stuff from anyone, anyway.

I suppose someone would be pleased to have my iPhone or iPad or computers, whatever devices I might have at the time I shuffle off this mortal coil, but would simply wipe off all my data to start fresh. I do have a "cheat sheet" with relevant information about my computer-related accounts, passwords, etc., which would be needed for anyone handling my affairs after my death, and I intend to some day sit down and pull together a specific list of my banking information/accounts, which branch of one of the banks my safe deposit box is, and so on. I also need to do a new will, as my old one was written many, many years ago and things and people have changed significantly since then -- lots of new family members now!

 

[Expos of 1969]

...and I intend to some day sit down and pull together a specific list of my banking information/accounts, which branch of one of the banks my safe deposit box is, and so on. I also need to do a new will, as my old one was written many, many years ago and things and people have changed significantly since then -- lots of new family members now!

Important things, so better done sooner than "some day" 👍

 

[Apple fanboy]

One day a few years ago it suddenly dawned on me that my older external drives filled with photo files would soon be inaccessible if I didn't do something promptly about rescuing everything from them. They had firewire and the computer I'd bought recently did not. I was able to get a FW adapter and use that to painstakingly and patiently transfer the data from the older drives to several larger-capacity HDD which would be more useable by the computer then and into the future. Then when I bought the 2018 MBP with its again different ports, I knew what to do: simply immediately bought a few cables which had the appropriate connector on one end for the drives and on the other end USB-C, so at least I still have access to the archival drives, although for the most part I am now using external SSDs for my current backups and supplementary files.

I figure that when I'm gone my niece and nephew won't care all that much about my photos, since most of them are not photos of the family anyway, but they will appreciate the old albums filled with prints from their grandparents and others, some of which I have and some of which my brother-in-law has. They'll also be more interested in family memorabilia from my late husband and their father, and older items from their grandparents, too. My niece and nephew are each busy with their own families now and both live in fairly small houses so I don't think they would have a lot of room to store too much stuff from anyone, anyway.

I suppose someone would be pleased to have my iPhone or iPad or computers, whatever devices I might have at the time I shuffle off this mortal coil, but would simply wipe off all my data to start fresh. I do have a "cheat sheet" with relevant information about my computer-related accounts, passwords, etc., which would be needed for anyone handling my affairs after my death, and I intend to some day sit down and pull together a specific list of my banking information/accounts, which branch of one of the banks my safe deposit box is, and so on. I also need to do a new will, as my old one was written many, many years ago and things and people have changed significantly since then -- lots of new family members now!

Don’t even get me started on will writing!