If you set it to 'auto' I think it goes to the usual blue we've had for years. If you choose an accent colour then the folder will also change in my experience. I have graphite accent colour but it makes my folders a crappy grey colour too. If I chose the blue option the folders were a hideous bright blue so I nicked an image from the net of an old folder icon and colour picked it and now I have graphite accents in finder etc and original blue folder colours.
EDIT: Completely misread your post there didn't I? haha. Im not sure about the tags/folder colours. Having a pokey little dot was never a good idea but at least the folder now changes as well. But yes for fast working it would be much better to return to the full filename highlight but Apple have decided to use Tahoe to stop fast and efficient working practices. They want everyone to focus on the UI and not their content.