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i can't believe what ive just done because of my ex.. (rant + macbook pro = death)

K

kusanagi

macrumors regular
Original poster
Jun 18, 2007
106
0
Sorry about this rant but i have no real other way to express this or anyone to really express it to.

After this i think i have some very deep seeded anger management and emotional issues...

I have 3 friends. No, not <teen angst>I dont have any friends but i actually have 500</teen angst> i literally only have 3 friends... I work 14 hours a day helping pay to keep my parents alive and paying off a mortgage there's not much room for anything else. One of these friends being my now ex gf.

I had an exgf before this, she was friends with my ex. I left my ex ex gf who i was with for a couple of years because I finally had the balls to leave her and not be scared that her family was oging to come after me. Yes, they already had with her sister's ex bf.. i didn't want to be next. After a few months I got together with my now ex gf. But for the past year and a half she just hasnt be able to get over the fact that I dated my ex ex because they both knew each other and she hated her.

I thought it was getting better, but it was an on and off thing, finally she broke it off. I tried getting back, but ive come to the realisation a few weeks ago that it was not going to happen. But i still tried to befriends with her.

Anyway to cut a long story short, she just found out that my ex ex after almost 2 years was still bitching about the fact that i left her and that she keeps thinking it was because i wanted to be with my ex. So my ex got really ****** about it and after i tried for a few days to help her, and be there for her and do whatever i could for her she told me that the best thing to do was to leave her alone.

Aparently not.

Now, she started going off at me about how i didn't do anything and how i should have done something instead of nothing and how it doenst even matter cuz she doesnt care anyway. And to top it off everything ive gotten for her, everything ive made for her (which included a scratch built digital picture frame taht i built out of one of my ibooks and took the better part of 3 months to make) she wants to throw away.

And then i got mad.

It started with me just lightly banging my fist againt the mbp keybaord.. not so bad.. but then she called me and it got even worse..

I put my fist through the laptop.. i didnt even realise until i had done it. Its soo bad.... the whole base is bent out, the keys are smashed inwards its just horrible. I can't beleive i did it. I jsut cant beleive it. I'm not a violent preson or something but you just get pushed to an extreme and you hit your limit and i got pushed beyond that.

The worst thing is ive spent soo much time saving up for that laptop.. it was supposed to last me for the next 3 years while i paid off my mortgage and finished my univeristy degree. Now i'm stuck with my old ibook that luckily the ebay auction hadn't ended otherwise id be in a real mess.

But now im a real mess i think ive fractured my hand too... it feels really numb. I just can't beleive what an ididot i am.

I dont know about positng pics of it... i sorta dont want it going out and reaching my ex thats the last thing i need.. hearing her going on about what i did...

</rant>
 
i recently had an extremely bad couple of days. so bad infact that it made me cry for the first time in 4 years. it was a really big cry.

im so sorry to hear about your mbp. i really am, its bringing tears to my eyes now just thinking about not having my mbp, it is my bestest friend, it even lets me touch it and caress it.

seems like youve had a tough life so far. i cant really understand the pain youve been through, i have a rather sheltered life. i can only feel what youve said through this post.

i really hope that you can sort everything out in your life.

from mac user to mac user

*salutes*
 
Yeh I've been in the same boat as you, but all I ended up smashing was a Dell keyboard. In the end, I got a drum kit, and it's far more satisfying to go through a drum skin than it is to go through a computer.

IMO, EVERYBODY should have a means of venting their anger, whether it's a sport of some sort, or a quick fix (like mine) of drumming, there are millions of options out there.

As Sobe says, it'll pass :)
 
There's not much advice anyone could give you regarding the MB now that wouldn't be closing the barn door after the horse ran away. However, you can benefit from this experience greatly if you learn from it.

You need to make a portion of your consciousness that's always watching yourself in the third person. That way when you start to lose your temper that voice will say "look at what you're doing right now, you're losing your temper. You need to take a break from the current situation." So when you catch yourself starting to lose it, you can notice it, and stop it. At that moment, take a deep breath, regain yourself control and remove yourself from the aggravating stimulus.

In this case you'd say to the person on the phone "Okay, I can't deal with this conversation right now. I'm gonna go now and maybe I'll call you later when I calm down." And if she still tries to keep you on the phone just say "Okay, I'm gonna say goodbye right now, and if you don't say goodbye back then I'm gonna hang the phone up anyway." And then make sure that you follow through on what you say.

Furthermore, if someone in your life makes you this upset you need to completely eliminate them from your life. I'm sure she was hot, and you were in love with her, and blah blah. That doesn't matter. In your life you should surround yourself only with people who make you feel good, happy, positively excited, etc. If anyone causes too much annoyance, or anger, or negativity, you need to say goodbye to them forever. The only exception is direct family like parents or siblings (but not even cousins or uncle level), in which case if they are too negative you shouldn't cut them out of your life completely, but you should very seriously limit your exposure to them, like just seeing them on christmas or whatever.
 
Killyp said:
Yeh I've been in the same boat as you, but all I ended up smashing was a Dell keyboard. In the end, I got a drum kit, and it's far more satisfying to go through a drum skin than it is to go through a computer.

IMO, EVERYBODY should have a means of venting their anger, whether it's a sport of some sort, or a quick fix (like mine) of drumming, there are millions of options out there.

As Sobe says, it'll pass :)
Click to expand...

i personally am a drummer. its a really really good way of venting your anger!!!! its great to be able to bash the hell out of something, get all sweaty, have a nice long shower and then have a nap. i find that i think best while drumming, my mind is clear and thought-free and able to think more complex. dont ask me why though.
 
Women get into your head and make you do things you would never have thought you would do, speaking from a purely heterosexual point of view, of course.

Sorry for your loss. :( Next time, just hit a pillow man.
 
I think the rule here is pics or it didn't happen.

I feel sorry for your situation. In a few days you'll start to feel better. Just think how ungrateful she was of the hard work you do everyday to pay the bills and take care of your parents. Also she obsessed over who you dated 2 years ago. Do you really want to be with someone like that.
 
Thanks for everyone's words of wisdom. Yes they really do get in your head.. and i'm past the point of missing her and wanting her back, its just that brick wall that you hit with them where nothing seems to go through their head is what gets me...

I really need anotehr way to vent my anger i just dont know what.. punching a pillow or matress doesnt work not anymore at least.
 
Maybe you need to concentrate now on the rest of your life and leave the dating alone for awhile. I know, I know, easier said than done but it seems like you're taking on way too much. Stress overload is very serious so sit back and just enjoy you for awhile.
 
I am actually sorry to say that I also put my fist through my 15" TiPb a few years back. It was only one year old at the time.

The screen was totally busted, but the computer itself worked fine with an external monitor.

It wasn't because of a girlfriend, but I was drunk at the time.

Sorry to hear a similar situation happened to your laptop.

Damn I wish it was a dell laptop ;)
 
pseudobrit said:
But when you punch your pillow and bend it, it's much cheaper to buy a new pillow.
Click to expand...

But it's a pillow, it will bend back into shape. Right? :confused:


Anyway, back on topic. My first piece of advice is get your hand checked out, you had to have broken something besides just a very solid laptop. Next, I guess you're just going to have to live with your iBook for a few more years, or until you can come up with the money to get a new MacBook/Pro. And finally, girls like that aren't worth your time, tell them to buzz off.
 
A old friend of mine took care of his mum who had MS. She's in a really bad state, but she eventually got a carer and the kid went totally off the rails with all the new found freedom he had.
Not entirely related to your story, but if you're under a lot of family stress then it can play havoc with your head. Do something relaxing and creative and find some new level of respect and happiness within you. Stick to Maslow's little hierarchy of needs, but remove sex and dating from it completely. Get to the top, smile, then get back to it!
 
i can't believe what ive just done because of my ex.. (rant + macbook pro = death)
Click to expand...

No my friend, you did this because you cannot control your anger. Your ex is not to blame at all for your actions.

That said, the fact that you mentioned your need for anger management classes makes me think that you are at least headed in the right direction. Focus more on containing your anger than on women. In the end you'll be a better person who will be worthy of a wonderful woman, but only when you're ready.
 
kusanagi said:
I really need anotehr way to vent my anger i just dont know what.. punching a pillow or matress doesnt work not anymore at least.
Click to expand...

if you are that angry on a regular basis, I think you need to find someone to talk to. preferably a professional, but if not, a good friend can help a lot too.

really, it's not a good idea to be walking around with that level of anger. good luck.
 
Thank God for Applecare :D. Oh wait.

Sorry, I'm bad. But I echo many of sentiments here. It's not a good idea to be walking around with that amount of anger and you may want to take some "me" time off from the realm of relationships.

I can relate because I threw my Thinkpad at a wall a couple of months ago. I was pissed/stressed/pushed over the limit at a couple of things going on back then. My parents weren't going to buy me a new one obviously (they didn't buy that one to begin with), let alone pay for the repairs. It taught me a hard lesson about the value of money and acting impulsively. It still works/boots but has some ugly damage and needs a new keyboard and cd drive.

That count to 10 stuff may sound like BS...but even in an online argument, when the person is pushing me to the limit, by the time I finish the long response, I'm cooled enough and act more charitable to the person even if they weren't as charitable toward me.


May you find peace!
 
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