Well, I found a temporay workaround/fix. If you close iChat, then open Activity Monitor, iChatAgent will still be open and in red. Force Quit it, then reopen iChat and the iChatAgent wont be red. I dont know how long it stays that way, or if it fixes any problems, but when I woke up the morning iChatAgent was back to "not responding"
iChat 3 has way too many bugs, I cant believe it was released in this current state.
*waiting for a fix*