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Yes I am having the same problem too and looking for an answer.

iPhone 3Gs
4.1 (unlocked/jailbroken)

OS X Lion

I've done research but all answers so far don't seem to deal with Lion which structures it's Library different to previous systems, so I cant remove Address Book files and reload from fresh.

It just won't sync new or missing entries that are contained in my Address Book... extremely frustrating. Any ideas?
 
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I think I may have a solution.

Open Address Book
Create a new Group, call it 'iPhone'
'Select All' your contacts
Drag onto the new Group

Plug in iPhone
When iTunes opens go to 'info' then 'Sync Addrss Book Contacts'
Click 'Selected Groups' and click on your new Group 'iPhone'
Sync

You should now have your contacts in your iPhone
 
I wanna do the reverse: copy my iPhone 3GS [contacts] to my MacPro's [addressbook].

I hesitate to sync it via iTunes, because I vaguely remember having done that two years ago with my wife's iPhone, and it deleted all the contacts on the phone and copied everything from the Mac's addressbook onto the phone.

I definitely can't lose these contacts. How should I proceed?

edit:
OK, so with iOS 4.3.5 + iTunes 10.5 there's no problem, everything worked fine.
 
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Update the 3GS to latest iOS version. Enable iCloud and make sure contacts are on. Login to iCloud.com make sure contacts are there. On mac update to at least 10.7.5. Enable iCloud and turn on contacts. Contacts will download from iCloud to the computer. Turn off contact syncing for iCloud under system preferences on the mac. Select keep on this device. Contacts are now saved locally on the mac. Keep iCloud on for constant updated changes current on both devices.
 
I'd also make sure to first sync the iPhone contacts with iCloud and only then attempt to sync with AddressBook.
 
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