Is it my responsibility to not text people during late hours, or is it the other person's responsibility to turn off text notification sounds?

[tzhu07]

If you have something to text to another person at midnight, do you think it's your responsibility to hold off until morning, or do you text that person?

And thus, it's the other person's responsbility to disable sound notifications when they don't want to be disturbed.

What is your etiquette on this?

 

[DrCC]

I go by this:
If it is business related, I wait until the morning (except emails).
If it is personal related, I just send the text and they get back to me when they can.

Most people I know disable the notifications when the don't want to be disturebed. Even if it is not a text, there are tons of other notification sources and those come in regardless.

 

[russell_314]

I go by this:
If it is business related, I wait until the morning (except emails).
If it is personal related, I just send the text and they get back to me when they can.

Most people I know disable the notifications when the don't want to be disturebed. Even if it is not a text, there are tons of other notification sources and those come in regardless.

This sounds like a good system. To me a text is sending me something that doesn’t require urgent reply. If you text me at midnight it’s not going to wake me up

 

[Macky-Mac]

It's more a matter of courtesy as opposed to "responsibility".

Perhaps if you don't expect them to read it until morning, then you might as well wait until morning to send it.

And if you're getting complaints about your sending texts at midnight, then that should be your cue to not send at that hour.....at least not to the people who've objected.

 

[Bodhitree]

I almost always wait… I do very little texting between 9 pm and 8 am. Basically only when i can see from Whatsapp’s “last visited” status that they were checking messages in the night, then i will sometimes hazard a text.

 

[T'hain Esh Kelch]

I don't hold back. People are mature enough to put their phones on silent mode in the evening, turn it off, or they can even have their phones to go into silence mode automatically every evening very easily. And I will most likely not be the only person to write them at some late time point, so they might as well learn how to do so. I am not doing mental gymnastics for every single individual after 7pm, to see what I can asses their schedule to be. And chances are I will then forget about it.

 

[kaardowiq]

For me, I send when there’s time which highly depends on the case, business case and person itself. It is not in my decision to take care of someone isn’t able to silent his device. Therefore, I don’t care about this.

 

[Juicy Box]

If you have something to text to another person at midnight, do you think it's your responsibility to hold off until morning, or do you text that person?

It totally depends on the situation and also the person I would be texting.

But, in almost every case, I wouldn't text someone at midnight unless it was very important or time sensitive. Even then, if it was that important, I would most likely call over a text.

If it was someone like my younger brother, that works an overnight shift, then I wouldn't think twice about sending him a text.

And thus, it's the other person's responsbility to disable sound notifications when they don't want to be disturbed.

Of course it is the other's person responsibility to disable sound notifications when they don't want to be disturbed, but that doesn't mean I would just text in the middle of the night to just anyone.

Think of it this way, replace "text" with "call". Do you feel the same way about it? If someone didn't want to be disturbed by a phone call @3am, should it be their responsibility to silence their phone?

I think yes, but that doesn't mean it would be appropriate to call someone at the time, at least not in most situations.

 

[Juicy Box]

It's more a matter of courtesy as opposed to "responsibility".

Exactly.

I think some people are confusing "responsibility" with what is appropriate, respectful, and considerate.

And if you're getting complaints about your sending texts at midnight, then that should be your cue to not send at that hour.....at least not to the people who've objected.

Yes, it sounds like the OP might have gotten complaints about their texting habits in the middle of the night.

If someone tells you that they don't want to be texted in the middle of the night, responsibility doesn't really play a part at that point, it just wouldn't be courteous to text them.

 

[JBGoode]

Some people don't disable notifications in case of a real emergency. Texting someone at midnight for some banal **** is rude and selfish.

 

[ucfgrad93]

I wouldn’t text someone at midnight unless it was an emergency.

 

[Apple fanboy]

I rarely text anyone other than Mrs AFB. She’s in the house with me, so I mostly text her when I’m at work.

I do send work emails and team’s messages all through the night. If I’m working and I need to message someone I do. Most people I work with have it go straight to their work laptop, so it doesn’t disturb them.
I have had a complaint or two from people who have Teams on their personal phones. But that’s on them as far as I’m concerned.
The funny one was a good friend I work with said he was in bed and I woke him when I messaged. It was only 9 pm.

 

[adrianlondon]

I turn my phone off at night, so people can text or call to their heart's content.

I tend not to message people very late in case they don't do the same, but some times I'm travelling and in a totally different timezone, so when I reply it's the middle of the night to them. That's their problem People should know how to use their phones, and silence them as required. It's not just texts, they may get emails all through the night that they should also silence if they want.

 

[JBGoode]

I love how people blame the person being disturbed in the middle of the night rather than the ******* that couldn't wait until morning to send a lame meme.
Anyone that thinks it's okay to text some random ******** to anyone in the middle of the night probably got a trophy for coming in 10th place in soccer.

 

[dougellison]

I don't hold back. ............so they might as well learn how to do so.........And chances are I will then forget about it.

So......because you can't remember to not text someone in the middle of the night, they MUST remember to silent their phone for YOUR benefit?

How about just being a reasonable human being? Seriously.

 

[MisterSavage]

Depends on the person. If it's someone I know has a focus set up then there's no reason not to. They do the same to me. Otherwise absolutely not.

 

[Jessica Lares]

I don't like when people text me after midnight and I won't send a text until after 6AM. If there's any time we should be unavailable to people, it should be then and we shouldn't have to tick a switch to enforce that.

 

[adrianlondon]

I don't like when people text me after midnight and I won't send a text until after 6AM. If there's any time we should be unavailable to people, it should be then and we shouldn't have to tick a switch to enforce that.

After midnight - no problem. 6am? Ouch - no way.

So, everyone should conform to your times, but you don't need to conform to theirs? That seems to be a common answer here; ignoring people in different timezones or who work shifts etc.

Just put your phones on mute, or disable notifications (Focus modes are great!) for whichever app annoys you at whatever times you don't want to be pinged.

Having said that, I get your point, and you probably hang out with people who share your midnight-6am routine, so it'll happen by default.

 

[Hele]

In my opinion, texts, like emails, are 24/7, especially since we're all connected even internationally. That's what silent mode, Focus modes, and all that great stuff is for.

 

[AZhappyjack]

I don't like when people text me after midnight and I won't send a text until after 6AM. If there's any time we should be unavailable to people, it should be then and we shouldn't have to tick a switch to enforce that.

Just set the Do Not Disturb to block out your down time and live your life...

 

[Scepticalscribe]

It's more a matter of courtesy as opposed to "responsibility".

Perhaps if you don't expect them to read it until morning, then you might as well wait until morning to send it.

And if you're getting complaints about your sending texts at midnight, then that should be your cue to not send at that hour.....at least not to the people who've objected.

Very well said, and I am in complete agreement with you.

It is a matter of courtesy, and respect, (and the use of the word "responsibility" in this context is depressingly telling, and revealing of attitudes), respect for downtime, personal space, sleep, and privacy.

Hold off until morning, unless it is absolutely vital; and no, the "responsibility" not to contact someone is yours; it is not for them to have to disable their phone.

Actually, I see the fact that this sort of question is even asked as part of the encroachment (and entitlement) of employers into the "private space" of those whom they employ, a sense that emloyees must justify why they are not always available, or always "on", 24/7, which is something that I, personally, find outrageous.

In general, unless it is an absolute emergency (which, by its very definition, is something that is not a frequent occurrence) I will not text (personally or professionally) at midnight.

In any case, I see this is discourteous, and disrespectful of someone else's time, and personal and private space.

However, my (mobile or cell) phone does not live in my bedroom - it is permanently exiled downstairs, and, increasingly, I leave it behind whenever I head out somewhere, which is wonderfully liberating.

 

[Jessica Lares]

A text at 6:25 AM is not going to wake you up like a text after 12 AM will. People get woken up by something at 2 or 3 in the morning all the time because of the dead silence at that time of night and a lot of people's alarms start going off at 5/6AM, but it doesn't bother you the same way because the cars that start passing by and the birds making noise at that time have already come in gradually.

There's the obvious problem with timezones/work shifts, but that's not everyone, and most of the people who do this could have texted a hour or much earlier, we all know that.

 

[Apple_Robert]

I often get texted on my work phone after I have gone to bed. I leave my work phone on silent because most employees don't consider sending a text in the middle of the night as encroaching on personal boundaries. I have a hard enough time sleeping. I don't need the added hassle of rude people bothering me on my personal time. My personal life takes precedence over my work life and as such, I will answer email and text on my timetable and not at the 24 hr behest of some others.

OP,

The fact that you felt the need to ask such a question shows that you don't see your actions as encroachment on others. Since you can't know how others may or may not have their phone policy set up, you should think old school and determine in yourself not to be rude in sending text in the middle of the night, unless it is a life and death emergency.

 

[AlaskaMoose]

It's more a matter of courtesy as opposed to "responsibility".

Perhaps if you don't expect them to read it until morning, then you might as well wait until morning to send it.

And if you're getting complaints about your sending texts at midnight, then that should be your cue to not send at that hour.....at least not to the people who've objected.

Agree with you. To me a text or a phone call late at night are not welcomed, unless I have told the other person that it is OK with me.

 

[Clix Pix]

If you have something to text to another person at midnight, do you think it's your responsibility to hold off until morning, or do you text that person?

And thus, it's the other person's responsbility to disable sound notifications when they don't want to be disturbed.

What is your etiquette on this?

It is your responsibility to hold off until a reasonable hour in the morning, say after 8:00 AM. You do not have any control over what another person does with his or her smartphone and you cannot decide for them that they should disable sound notifications. The only person's behavior that you can control is your own.