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Is love an action or a feeling?

Bobdude161

Bobdude161

macrumors 65816
Original poster
Mar 12, 2006
1,215
1
N'Albany, Indiana
What is correct? Is love an action or a feeling? Or is it a little bit of both?

I believe it is more of an action which brings feeling. We tend to be concerned about what we want. To have someone in our life creates a struggle in what we want to do and what is in the best interest of the relationship. So we must choose to do what's best for the two. It's not a one way action, both sides need to commit to the action of love. If one side is not doing their part of the action, then the relationship becomes joyless.

To simply feel love and not commit to it when it doesn't feel good is not a lasting love. If you're having a bad day and your significant other is getting on your nerves you must choose to be patient with them because you have chosen to love them.

My commitment in choosing love was tested a few months ago. My 1.5 year long girlfriend felt like she didn't love me anymore. I was obviously heartbroken. My feeling was to sulk away and lie in my own tears. But I still chose to love her and respect her decision, but also show that I had chosen to still be there for her. Throughout a month we still talked every other day. With prayer on both sides and restraining my feeling of desperation, we got back together, way much stronger than ever. We both had agreed that we must choose to love and that simply not feeling love isn't necessarily the absence of love. And if that feeling of love is diminishing, our actions need to adjusted.

What say you?
 
I believe Mr. Clive Staples Lewis said it best,

"Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

Of course I think even Mr. Lewis would agree that there is something to be said for the warm affectionate feeling. Though he would most likely caution us to be wary that it will come and go throughout the relationship.

Seriously though you should have a read through some of his writings, The Four Loves, The Problem of Pain, and a hell of a lot of others.
 
I think for a younger person it's a little different.

But as for me, love is total and unconditional. You know you're love when you feel empty without your SO, when a piece of you leaves when s/he is away on a business trip. You've got a ton of work on your desk and feel like there's no escape but the thought of your SO, or a text message or even a 5 minute phone call from them, brightens your day and gives you the strength to accomplish anything.

Love is being there when you (saying "all the time" is a lie) can. There are times when your physical presence can't be there, but the sound of a reassuring voice is more than enough for a just a little closer comfort.

And when you're together in the afterglow, you look at your SO and know deep inside, "This is it, there is nothing else that completes me more than you." Then you know, there is nothing more telling at that moment, you are in love.
:D

I've been there twice in my life and I'm 44 in July. When you know, you just know.
 
Abstract said:
Depends on whether we're in bed.
Click to expand...

I second this theory.

But in all seriousness, I think its a combination of both. Its difficult to categorize love as one or the other since love involves both many actions and many feelings. For me I think its some what of a circular thing. First actions spur feelings, then those feelings cause actions, which in turn cause more feelings. Its a vicious cycle I tell you, and an expensive one.
 
Bobdude161 said:
you must choose... because you have chosen to love them. My commitment in choosing love .... but also show that I had chosen.... We both had agreed that we must choose to love ....
Click to expand...

You said it yourself pretty darn well. Love is a choice. A friend of mine once said, "you can spell love two ways, L O V E or T I M E." What you spend your time on will reveal what you love. This statement struck a chord with me and I've never forgotten it. The bottom line is it's intentional choice, which is what makes it so special. :)
 
The Greeks have several words for different types of love - familial love, sexual love, principled love.

Love is a feeling that is defined by action.
 
Love is too illogical to place a definition with it.
I guess it's just a feeling.
I love my girlfriend.
But I love her a different way then I love my pets
or cheese.

I guess its a mixture of both. But i would say its more of a feeling.
 
mscriv said:
You said it yourself pretty darn well. Love is a choice. A friend of mine once said, "you can spell love two ways, L O V E or T I M E." What you spend your time on will reveal what you love. This statement struck a chord with me and I've never forgotten it. The bottom line is it's intentional choice, which is what makes it so special. :)
Click to expand...

I like that one! To add to that, I don't think people "fall out of love". They fall out of commitment to each other. Love is the end result of that commitment.

Too many people try to participate in a relationship rather then be committed to it. The difference between participation and commitment is like the difference between ham and eggs. The chicken participates, but the pig is committed.
 
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