not sure if anyone is still having this problem. called up apple and they were able to tell me how to force itunes to activate my phone.
Note:*Activation-only mode is intended only for businesses and education institutions that activate devices for users.
If you are helping a friend or family member activate their new iOS device, choose Sign out from the Store menu in iTunes before connecting the device. If you share a computer, another option is to create or login to their user account before connecting the device, as suggested in How to use multiple iPods with one computer.
To turn on Activation-only Mode on Mac OS X:
1. Make sure iTunes isnt running and then open Terminal.
2. In Terminal, enter a command:
▪ To turn activation-only mode on: defaults write com.apple.iTunes StoreActivationMode -integer 1
▪ To turn activation-only mode off: defaults delete com.apple.iTunes StoreActivationMode
To turn on Activation-only Mode on Windows:
1. Make sure iTunes isnt running, and then open a Command Prompt window.
2. Enter a command:
▪ To turn activation-only mode on: "C:\Program Files\iTunes\iTunes.exe" /setPrefInt StoreActivationMode 1
▪ To turn activation-only mode off: "C:\Program Files\iTunes\iTunes.exe" /setPrefInt StoreActivationMode 0
i was able to do this and it gave me the option to activate my phone.