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Job situation: what would you do?

Thomas Veil

Thomas Veil

macrumors 68030
Original poster
Feb 14, 2004
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Much greener pastures
Okay. There's this new guy I'm working with on my video production job. Actually he's not "new". He's been a customer for a while, and they decided to hire him on.

I had had my reservations about him coming on board, because he's a socially inept guy who has a penchant for talking in an almost whisper and making odd non sequiturs in the middle of conversations.

But I'm training him last night, and as he's directing a video shoot I'm sitting right next to him, keeping an eye on things. We're in this little darkened room, and at one point he reaches over and starts running his fingers across my knee. Sort of like a little tickle.

Um. I was just a little bit shocked. :rolleyes: Now, I do have to say that we were both wearing wired headsets, and the cords were plugged in in front of us, occasionally brushing against our legs. So I'm giving this guy the benefit of the doubt and thinking this was his (really) odd way of making a joke. But I certainly didn't make that connection at first, or for quite a while. And nevertheless, whether it is or it isn't intended as a "joke", it was really, um...inappropriate??

That wasn't the end of the weirdness. On the way back, I'm driving the studio's van, ready to turn into our facility's driveway, and as I approach that intersection, this guy quickly braces himself against the dash and shouts (as much as he ever does), "Look out! We're gonna crash!!"

Now, there were no cars around (it was late), but if there had been, or if I'd been looking away for even a second, I probably would've slammed on the brakes.

Okay. Enough of describing the weirdness. The issue to me is not, "Do I tell my boss about this?" The issue is how. Because both incidents happened while I was alone with him, so I can't prove anything I'm saying. Nevertheless I feel I've got to report something. Do I e-mail my boss so it's documented (but possibly open myself to a libel suit if this guy finds out)...or do I tell it verbally to my boss (but leave it undocumented anywhere)?

What do you think?
 
Well I don't think the second one is much....I guess it was him trying to be funny so hold back if you can on telling anyone about that.

The other situation....Tell the dude you are not into that and to keep it to himself and if he takes it as a joke then tell your boss or punch him in the lip...your choice.



Bless
 
As far as the sexual harassment goes, it's all about how he made you feel. If he made you feel uncomfortable, you need to begin documenting it now, in case he does it again. Saying "oh he kept making me uncomfortable" well on after the fact doesn't hold much water. Having documentation that he did it on occasions 1, 2, and 3 will stand up better. Be sure to put it down with as much specificity as possible. It's not libelous if you're stating how his actions made you uncomfortable.
 
If you do decide to document any of this make sure that you keep it factual and don't make inferences about intentions etc.
 
Definitely.

Having thought it out, I believe what I'll do it tell my boss verbally, but also let him know that I'm keeping written documentation.

As far as the second incident, no, it's not the same as the first, but sudden distractions and horseplay in a vehicle can lead to accidents, and as the driver, I'd be held responsible.
 
I agree with everyone else. Document everything and make a verbal statement to your boss. Chances are you may not be the only person he does this to or may do it to in the future. Keep your head and try not to read into things too much though. He will most likely dig his own grave.
 
Tell the guy first before you tell the boss. If that doesn't solve the problem, then I'd do what others have suggested, with documenting what's happening and telling the boss.
 
Thomas Veil said:
The issue to me is not, "Do I tell my boss about this?" The issue is how. Because both incidents happened while I was alone with him, so I can't prove anything I'm saying. Nevertheless I feel I've got to report something. Do I e-mail my boss so it's documented (but possibly open myself to a libel suit if this guy finds out)...or do I tell it verbally to my boss (but leave it undocumented anywhere)?
Click to expand...

just be cool about it, and don't email it. If it were me, I'd tell the boss in an informal way i.e. I wouldn't say "hey, can I talk to you in your office with the door closed." I'd bring it up in a casual way, when you guys are just shooting the breeze, and say something like "man, that new guy is one weird cat." And then I'd tell him about the fingers on the knee, etc.

IMHO the informal, friendly approach has the advantage of making you seem like the sane, well-adjusted one. Plus it removes a lot of "drama" from the equation, and drama is the one thing you absolutely don't want at work...you've got enough to deal with already.

just my opinion...
 
I would actually disagree with telling your boss in an informal way. Walk into his office, close the door, and sit down and act as if you're genuinely concerned about that man's attitude.

Don't act like you're panicking. Be strong and be calm, but say whatever it is you have to say.
 
Abstract said:
I would actually disagree with telling your boss in an informal way. Walk into his office, close the door, and sit down and act as if you're genuinely concerned about that man's attitude.

Don't act like you're panicking. Be strong and be calm, but say whatever it is you have to say.
Click to expand...

I agree with this as well.
 
Id write it down but wouldnt do anything until another wierd thing happens. Then I would go all out and seek to get a harassment charge if talking to HIM first doesnt work. I try to give people always the benefit of the doubt From what it sounded like, it didnt sound to serious (as in maybe he was joking or i dunno) and the second could just be his personality. Id sit on it in the mean time
 
I agree with a two-tiered approach with what BV said:

1. Talk to him and be up front (but be sure to write down the date and time you verbally talk to him) like Blue Velvet said.

2. If he does it again, start doing everything in writing.

I had a major problem at a place I used to work with a guy who made my life miserable because I wouldn't let him touch me and flirt with me all day at work. When I refused the advances, my car started getting vandalized, ashtrays emptied on my front seat, telling coworkers I said things I didn't.

Glad I documented everything - he ended up getting fired. NOt saying your case is severe, just cut it short now.

Good luck - sucks to be in that position.
 
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