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Thomas Veil

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Feb 14, 2004
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Much greener pastures
Wow...

'M*A*S*H' writer, producer Larry Gelbart dies

(CNN) -- Writer and producer Larry Gelbart, most known for his work on the hit television series "M*A*S*H," died Friday morning in his Beverly Hills, California, home, his wife said. He was 81.

Gelbart died of cancer, Pat Gelbart said. The family will hold a private memorial service.

Throughout his career, Gelbart developed a portfolio of more than 40 works spanning radio, television, theater and film. His fascination with radio as a child inspired him and influenced his evolving career....

In 1972, Gelbart helped create the Korean War comedy drama "M*A*S*H." The show went on for another 11 years, although Gelbart only wrote and produced "M*A*S*H" for the first four seasons. "M*A*S*H" won 50 awards, including eight Golden Globes.

"M*A*S*H" was so popular it lasted much longer than the Korean War itself, and was seen as a commentary on American involvement in the Vietnam War. Gelbart also was involved in the short-lived sequel, "After MASH."

For Gelbart, "M*A*S*H" mixed a bit of comedy with drama, allowing viewers to connect more with the story.

"I said once that the only way before 'M*A*S*H' you would get any feeling out of your television set is if you touched it while you were wet," Gelbart said.
I can remember watching M*A*S*H and admiring Hawkeye's talent for putting down idiots with a quick quip. But really, the person I actually admired was Gelbart. Lots of people are funny, but he was probably the wittiest writer in TV.

Rest in peace, Larry. And thanks for all the great laughs.
 
He used to post in the M*A*S*H usenet group back in the 90s. Was very interesting reading his posts about the show. Super nice guy. RIP, Larry.
 
A talent, and as a long time M*A*S*H Fan I am glad allot of folks had the opportunity to see what a wonderful and creative talent he is and was.

Definitely was a part of my growing up and always brings back memory's when re watching the DVD's.

R.I.P
 
A Great Writer and Truly Great Guy

Larry Gelbart was an incredibly good guy -- bright, friendly and grounded.

Gelbart's did not allow his success define him. Instead, his humor and kindness were his touchstone qualities.

As a WGA member, I got to know this deeply committed and principled man.

There are few like him.

RIP.
 
Some of the funniest lines, collected from around the net:

If you want a drink, sir -- compliments of Col. Blake -- brandy, scotch, vodka. And for your convenience, all in the same bottle. -- Radar

Radar (in a letter): As usual, I'm writing slowly because I know you can't read fast.

She's offered her body to science. Time and time again. -- Hawkeye

Frank, it's after six, you can stop being snotty! -- Henry

Frank, you are ten of the most boring people I know. -- Trapper

Attention all personnel. When filling out GI insurance forms, be sure to state your age and sex at the time of your last birthday. -- PA

Attention. Major Houlihan, your chest x-rays are ready and they really came out beautiful. -- PA

Attention. Captain Alvin Mercer leaves for a honeymoon in Tokyo at oh-nine hundred hours. Any nurse wishing to be the bride please contact the captain. No experience necessary. -- PA

Margaret (staggeringly drunk): I wonder if I can see Colonel Blake.
Radar: I wonder if you can, too.

Gen. Mitchell: Now wait a minute! This is supposed to be a press conference! The last thing I want to do is answer a lot of questions!

Frank: I always say, you've got to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps.
Hawkeye: Frank, why don't you pull yourself up by your own jockstrap?

BJ: The tent is spinning around.
Hawkeye: Which way?
BJ: Clockwise.
Hawkeye: Mine is going counterclockwise. Maybe together we're sober.

(Hawkeye, dictating a telegraph to his father, who thinks Hawkeye has been killed):
Dear Dad, I am not dead. Stop. Hope you are the same. Stop. Thinking of selling my golf clubs? Stop. Spending my insurance money? Stop!

PA system, referring to Hawkeye's mock wake: Come one, come all to a wake for the late great Captain Pierce. We'll be mourning all afternoon and evening. The deceased will deliver the eulogy, and the guests will have twenty minutes for rebuttal. Remains to be seen in the Swamp.

Frank, disapproving of card game: Well, I see the "conference" is in full swing.
Sidney Freedman: Hi, Frank. What's new up on the mount?

Flagg (to Klinger): Hey...up close, you're a guy!
Klinger: Far away, too.

Frank: I wonder if I could say something useful...
Trapper: I've often wondered about that myself, Frank.

Trapper to Hawkeye and Radar, in formation: Count off!
Radar looks at Hawkeye, hesitantly: ...Are you "one"?
Hawkeye (adopting swishy pose): Yes, are you?

Hawkeye (answering a phone call): Look, would you listen to me? I can't give you a cavalry charge. We're just doctors. The best we can do is storm the enemy and take their tonsils out!

Henry Blake: Do we have enough sherry and ginger ale for the General?
Radar: Oh, nobody does, sir.

Hawkeye, temporarily in command: 'I can't believe I'm sitting in Henry Blake's chair. This is the chair from which a thousand indecisions have been launched.'

Nurse #3: Does every new nurse fall in love with you here?
Hawkeye: Only the ones with taste.
Nurse #3: Do you think I have any?
Hawkeye: I don't know, let me taste you.

(Regarding rooming together to save heat) PA System: All personnel must begin sleeping together tonight. Check bulletin board to determine the sex of your tent.

Hawkeye, with a tremendous hangover: I think one of us should try breathing on a mirror.
And then there were the lines he gave to the uberpatriotic characters, which made them look incredibly foolish:

I want foxholes there, there, there and there -- each one smartly dug. The kind of hole a man can throw himself into with pride. -- Frank

Oh, Frank...you're so above average! -- Margaret

I am only paranoid because everyone is against me -- Frank

Talking to Major Houlihan is the same as talking to me as we are intimate with each other at all times -- Frank

Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion. -- Col. Flagg

I'm sick of hearing about the wounded. What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot -- Frank

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. -- Frank

(Referring to men in formation) Corporal, deform the men. -- Frank

Frank: When are you going to learn about Chinese treachery? Didn't Pearl Harbor teach you anything?

Frank Burns: Spontaneity has its time and its place.

Frank Burns: It's the way these yellow devils think. It's burned into their brains. Kill Americans, kill, kill. They don't respect human life the way we do. I'd like to take him out and shoot him!

Oh Margaret, you're my snug harbour. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to sail into. -- Frank

Margaret: You lied to me, Frank! That's worse than stealing!
Frank: Well, I happen to think that stealing is worse than lying!
Margaret: And you did both!
Frank: So I oughta know!

Frank, to 10 year old girl happily playing the piano: Oh stop behaving like a child!
 
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