Become a MacRumors Supporter for $50/year with no ads, ability to filter front page stories, and private forums.

Charliebird

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
Mar 10, 2010
855
148
Lately I've noticed a lot of negatively on this forum regarding the new iPad Air and rMini. So to help brighten up things I thought I would start a list of all the great undocumented features included in the new iPad's. I should add not everyone is fortunate enough to receive these extra feature.

Sunrise Screen - Everyone likes a good sunrise, so Apple engineers have figured out a way to emulate this by creating a yellow hue on the bottom of the screen.

Safari Timer - Everyone knows that surfing the web for long periods of time can be unhealthy and bad for your soul. Safari has been programmed to randomly shutdown to allow you to take short breaks from your web surfing.

Gamut Reduction (rMini exclusive) - Sometimes bright vibrant colors can be really unnerving especially on a smaller screen. Fortunately gamut reduction technology can help eliminate this problem.

Ram Optimization - There's no to better way to ensure ram is being used to it's fullest capacity than to limit the amount of included ram to 1 GB.

Storage Minimization - Let's face it having a large library of stuff can really weigh you down. You have to organize and keep track of everything. By keeping the starting storage size at 16 GB this helps keep this problem under control. Charging $100 dollars to double that space really helps keep a lid on things.

Automatic Safari Tab Refresh (ASTR) - Nothing worst than outdated web pages. Crack Apple software engineers found an ingenious solution by having the tabs refresh themselves.

Standard Home Button - We could have included a touch ID home button but what new features would that leave for the iPad Air S?

OBDS (Obsessive Better Device Syndrome) - This is where the user will go to all ends to find the most perfect device. This more of a feature of iPad's users who frequent the MacRumors forums.

Visual Reminder (possibly rMini exclusive) - Do you ever wish you could be reminded what was the last thing you worked on? Using patented screen technology a subtle imprint will remain on your screen as a gentle reminder.

(rMini) Volume Control - Whoa whoa, hold on there you rock star! You have only one set of ears, might as well take care of them! The iPad mini with Retina Display has built in volume control to assure that the built-in speakers have absolutely no chance of even getting a fraction of the volume needed to get those eardums ringin'!

Color Blind Accessibility The color gamut of the rMini is reduced to provide color blind users a palette of colors they clearly recognize.

QC Over ride A new feature that gets products out to market and in the hands of festive shoppers faster than ever.

No Power Vibrate - Apple engineers have "found a way" to make your iPad vibrate without using additional battery life. By simply making the sleep/wake and volume buttons very loose, your device will vibrate without burdening the battery.

Screen softness feature - The hard feeling of high quality glass on previous iPad models has been determined to cause bruising on fingertips. Apple has included an amazing new glass which feels just like plastic and flexes when you tap it to partially absorb the impact of your finger. Magic!

Great storage discounts! - Apple has discounted its 128GB iPad model pricing $300 for those able to make do with 16GB. A $300 savings! It is almost magical!
No More Dead Pixels! - Apple engineers finally found the solution to dreaded dead pixels issue. A special robot finds all dead pixels and places specks of dust precisely on top of them. Voila - dead pixels get proper burial, out of sight, out of mind!




I'm sure I've missed a few features so please feel free to jump in with any undocumented feature you've discovered.

PS. I love my rMini, but I like poking at Apple.
 
Last edited:
Lol

This is actually pretty brilliant! Personally, I don't think that 1GB or ram is limiting...I think it's an iOS 7 issue.

But, this is a very funny post - it gave me a chuckle! :)
 
QC Over ride A new feature that gets products out to market and in the hands of festive shoppers faster than ever.
 
Color Blind Accessibility The color gamut of the rMini is reduced to provide color blind users a palette of colors they clearly recognize.
 
On a whim I emailed them to tcook@apple so if you don't hear from me again you'll know what happened. I didn't include the first and the last one.
 
Last edited:
No Power Vibrate.

Apple engineers have "found a way" to make your iPad vibrate without using additional battery life.

By simply making the sleep/wake and volume buttons very loose, your device will vibrate without burdening the battery.
 
I missed one important one.

Visual Reminder (possibly rMini exclusive) - Do you ever wish you could be reminded what was the lasted thing you worked on? Using patented screen technology a subtle imprint will remain on your screen as a gentle reminder.
 
I missed one important one.

Visual Reminder (possibly rMini exclusive) - Do you ever wish you could be reminded what was the lasted thing you worked on? Using patented screen technology a subtle imprint will remain on your screen as a gentle reminder.

I was going to post this as "Onion Skin Animation Enhancement"
 
(rMini) Volume Control - Whoa whoa, hold on there you rock star! You have only one set of ears, might as well take care of them! The iPad mini with Retina Display has built in volume control to assure that the built-in speakers have absolutely no chance of even getting a fraction of the volume needed to get those eardums ringin'!
 
Cloaking Security Glass

Apple understand you may want to peruse personal data on your iPad, and the patented Cloaking Security Glass can help. When your device is viewed more than 1mm from the exact perpendicular planar, the safety glass will wash the colours and content out so others cannot spy on your precious information
 
ToyTech Anti-Theft System

Worried some sticky fingered thief will steal your expensive device? Worry no more! With the ToyTech Anti-Theft system built right into the iOS 7 UI design, your device will look like a very inexpensive Fisher Price or V-Tech kids tablet. Sure to avert thieves.
 
Screen softness feature:

The hard feeling of high quality glass on previous iPad models has been determined to cause bruising on fingertips. Apple has included an amazing new glass which feels just like plastic and flexes when you tap it to partially absorb the impact of your finger. Magic!
 
Great storage discounts! - Apple has discounted its 128GB iPad model pricing $300 for those able to make do with 16GB. A $300 savings! It is almost magical!
 
Great storage discounts! - Apple has discounted its 128GB iPad model pricing $300 for those able to make do with 16GB. A $300 savings! It is almost magical!

A while back my poor sister was talked into buying a 64 GB iPad 2 because it was the best value. She is the furthest thing from a power user and has never even downloaded an App.
 
No More Dead Pixels! - Apple engineers finally found the solution to dreaded dead pixels issue. A special robot finds all dead pixels and places specks of dust precisely on top of them. Voila - dead pixels get proper burial, out of sight, out of mind!
 
No More Dead Pixels! - Apple engineers finally found the solution to dreaded dead pixels issue. A special robot finds all dead pixels and places specks of dust precisely on top of them. Voila - dead pixels get proper burial, out of sight, out of mind!

Nice! I was struggling to put a positive spin on the dust 'feature'.
 
Register on MacRumors! This sidebar will go away, and you'll see fewer ads.