Marriage in trouble, please, need help blocking iMessage contact in OSX

[jwoods]

Long time reader, first time poster. I'm typically fairly reserved and don't really participate in community discussion, but today I do terribly need the help of the community.

There's a man that's been harassing my wife and I via iMessage, and it's a person that we've had a difficult past with. Without going further into detail, he brings up troubling memories and stirs up all sorts of negative emotions between my wife and I. This has been causing constant stress/rifts in our marriage. I have tried blocking him through iOS7, and while this works just fine on phones, it does not register on OSX itself. So messages get through regardless.

We cannot stop using iMessage all together, as we have many, many elderly family/relatives that use the service, and cannot have them all switch to something different. I've called and asked help of Apple support, but to no avail. I've come to this board looking some kind of solution, maybe if I mess with some internal files of the Messages app? or even a script perhaps that will block any incoming messages from this particular person.

I'd really, really appreciate any and all help. Thank you.

 

[drew627]

Maybe you can turn it off on your Macs and use iMessage exclusively on your phones?

 

[ufkdo]

I am sorry for you. Unfortunately, there is no blocking feature in imessage for mac (it will probably be added in 10.9.2, but it is a bit far away). So, the only solution I could think of is turning of imessage in your mac, as mentioned by above poster.

 

[jwoods]

My wife has a writing disorder, the muscle memory she has with a physical keyboard is the reason we require the use of the mac for messaging.

 

[Sun Baked]

At some point somebody has to end the game he is playing, any response more that "cease harassing me/us" or silence is furthering the game.

If there are physical threats from the other side and you aren't participating, then taking it to the next level and filing a criminal complaint may be warranted.

For physical threats you can expect a "terroristic threats" charge to pop up.

A level below police involvement may simply be to file a restraining order.

But all this depends on your side not furthering the harassment game he is playing, and what you are willing to do to end it -- sometimes it'll take police involvement or a judge to end harassment.

 

[jwoods]

There aren't any threats, and I much rather not file a report as this individual is still rooted in our past; it will have negative repercussions within our circles.

I'm looking for a purely software solution, it seems silly that there'd be nothing I can do, there has to be something.

 

[GoCubsGo]

There aren't any threats, and I much rather not file a report as this individual is still rooted in our past; it will have negative repercussions within our circles.

I'm looking for a purely software solution, it seems silly that there'd be nothing I can do, there has to be something.

I don't think there is a solution that is software based. You're an adult, you need to end this and it probably will result in you having to take other action. If he is rooted in your past then leave him there. If you're worried about what your "circles" think then you need to find new circles. Any so-called circle of friends who will have a negative reaction to you voiding this tool bag from your life is not a friend. Sorry pal, but that's just how it is.

Do you want to live with harassment because there is no way to block an iMessage on your Mac or do you want to deal with it and live in peace? Also, what was done before iMessage for Mac came? How did your wife communicate? Something tells me there are solutions but one of them isn't what you want, which is turn off iMessage from the Mac.

Likewise, change your iMessage e-mail address. There's that.

Side note: If this is causing marital problems then I think you need to take drastic measures and those aren't ones you'll find on this board.

 

[a-m-k]

I think I found a solution, don't try to delete him for a few days (because he's likely not going to be on unless he harasses you every day) When he does, all you have to do is hit the buddies choice on the top of your screen, then select 'show info', and if he's on select 'Remove buddy whatever his name is'.

I hope this will help you. I am not sure what happens after you select 'remove buddy whatever his name is'.

 

[50548]

I don't think there is a solution that is software based. You're an adult, you need to end this and it probably will result in you having to take other action. If he is rooted in your past then leave him there. If you're worried about what your "circles" think then you need to find new circles. Any so-called circle of friends who will have a negative reaction to you voiding this tool bag from your life is not a friend. Sorry pal, but that's just how it is.

Do you want to live with harassment because there is no way to block an iMessage on your Mac or do you want to deal with it and live in peace? Also, what was done before iMessage for Mac came? How did your wife communicate? Something tells me there are solutions but one of them isn't what you want, which is turn off iMessage from the Mac.

Likewise, change your iMessage e-mail address. There's that.

Side note: If this is causing marital problems then I think you need to take drastic measures and those aren't ones you'll find on this board.

I don't think there is a need to sound condescending or give moral lessons here (I know the usually "puritan" people in the US love to do that); the OP may have a bunch of different reasons that need no further disclosure here - so let's just stick to technical advice, please.

- The most effective way is simply to turn off iMessage from your Mac, as said before;

- in OS X Messages, you may also try to block a buddy under Buddies>Block Person... (granted, this is NOT the same as blocking a Contact, which is not yet possible);

- report unwanted iMessages to Apple:

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5821?viewlocale=en_US&locale=en_US

- use a different messaging app instead of iMessage.

And good luck.

 

[jwoods]

I don't think there is a solution that is software based. You're an adult, you need to end this and it probably will result in you having to take other action. If he is rooted in your past then leave him there. If you're worried about what your "circles" think then you need to find new circles. Any so-called circle of friends who will have a negative reaction to you voiding this tool bag from your life is not a friend. Sorry pal, but that's just how it is.

Do you want to live with harassment because there is no way to block an iMessage on your Mac or do you want to deal with it and live in peace? Also, what was done before iMessage for Mac came? How did your wife communicate? Something tells me there are solutions but one of them isn't what you want, which is turn off iMessage from the Mac.

Likewise, change your iMessage e-mail address. There's that.

Side note: If this is causing marital problems then I think you need to take drastic measures and those aren't ones you'll find on this board.

Thank you for the life lesson.

I don't think there is a need to sound condescending or give moral lessons here (I know the usually "puritan" people in the US love to do that); the OP may have a bunch of different reasons that need no further disclosure here - so let's just stick to technical advice, please.

- The most effective way is simply to turn off iMessage from your Mac, as said before;

- in OS X Messages, you may also try to block a buddy under Buddies>Block Person... (granted, this is NOT the same as blocking a Contact, which is not yet possible);

- report unwanted iMessages to Apple:

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5821?v...S&locale=en_US

- use a different messaging app instead of iMessage.

And good luck.

I've tried blocking a buddy and reporting the aforementioned messages. 'Block Person' is greyed out. Upon further research I've found that the function it serves is to block AIM buddies that you communicate with via the iMessage system, doesn't work on the iMessage protocol itself.

 

[GoCubsGo]

I don't think there is a need to sound condescending or give moral lessons here (I know the usually "puritan" people in the US love to do that); the OP may have a bunch of different reasons that need no further disclosure here - so let's just stick to technical advice, please.

- The most effective way is simply to turn off iMessage from your Mac, as said before;

- in OS X Messages, you may also try to block a buddy under Buddies>Block Person... (granted, this is NOT the same as blocking a Contact, which is not yet possible);

- report unwanted iMessages to Apple:

http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5821?viewlocale=en_US&locale=en_US

- use a different messaging app instead of iMessage.

And good luck.

Thank you for the life lesson.



I've tried blocking a buddy and reporting the aforementioned messages. 'Block Person' is greyed out. Upon further research I've found that the function it serves is to block AIM buddies that you communicate with via the iMessage system, doesn't work on the iMessage protocol itself.

It was far from condescending. Don't come online telling people your marriage is in trouble then telling the same people that while your marriage is in trouble you don't wish to ruffle the feathers of your circle of friends to resolve the issue. You are, in fact, part of the problem if you choose not to fix it by any means possible. The friends who will be upset over whatever the issue is aren't real friends. Friends wouldn't want to see his wife or him harassed to the point of divorce. So please, spare me this who "the US does this and that" as you have no idea where I hail from originally nor do you know enough in general to know exactly what I "like to do".

As such, I was very clear in my advice. If this is really damaging a relationship then by all means, put an end to it. I have yet to find a way to block a user from sending me an iMessage on my Mac. I offered up the idea of changing the e-mail address, which would solve this issue as far as I know. It is not as though iMessage for Mac has been around long nor is changing an e-mail address all that tough. It can still be given to family and friends, the same circle if he so chooses.

If you want to stick to technical advice then ask for technical advice and leave the bit out about circles of friends, marriage issues, and the likes. If you want help and you don't want to read what people write then sit around all day whining about losing your seemingly terrible friends and your wife over this matter. I will write it once more, change your e-mail address associated with iMessage or don't and let this continue.

BRLawyer, the worst thing about you is that while you claim that people in the US like to do whatever you think I've done, you do the same thing. It is so ironic to me when someone who isn't in the US holds the flag of awesome while they put down an entire country for something they are currently guilty of; that is the best part of your little response.

 

[50548]

BRLawyer, the worst thing about you is that while you claim that people in the US like to do whatever you think I've done, you do the same thing. It is so ironic to me when someone who isn't in the US holds the flag of awesome while they put down an entire country for something they are currently guilty of; that is the best part of your little response.

Once more, 2/3 of your answer to the OP related to "moral" advice on what to do against that "friend" - his question was very clear in terms of the necessary technical measures - so there was absolutely no need to patronize here and there.

And I speak about the average US mindset because I know it first-hand, period. Of course this perception does not apply to all - but it is absolutely undeniable that such an overwhelmingly "protestant/puritanical/prudish/cleaner-than-thou" attitude cannot be found anywhere else in the western world, be it in Europe, Central/South America or Oceania.

 

[Ledgem]

Once more, 2/3 of your answer to the OP related to "moral" advice on what to do against that "friend" - his question was very clear in terms of the necessary technical measures - so there was absolutely no need to patronize here and there.

I find myself in agreement with the both of you, but it's worth mentioning that jwoods could have asked about blocking in iMessage and left his personal circumstances out of it. He's asking for assistance, and the more information he gives, the more people will have to work with when coming up with alternate solutions. Since he mentioned marriage and social situations (even in the thread title), people with good intent are suggesting other bits of advice in an effort to be helpful, even if you don't perceive it that way.

It is indeed ridiculous that Apple doesn't have a block list for Messages on OS X. The best I can suggest is to leave Apple feedback about the lack of this feature. Otherwise, your only other options are to change the contact number(s)/alias(es) that you're using to something that the other person doesn't know, or to do your best to manually ignore them. Best of luck.

 

[50548]

I find myself in agreement with the both of you, but it's worth mentioning that jwoods could have asked about blocking in iMessage and left his personal circumstances out of it. He's asking for assistance, and the more information he gives, the more people will have to work with when coming up with alternate solutions. Since he mentioned marriage and social situations (even in the thread title), people with good intent are suggesting other bits of advice in an effort to be helpful, even if you don't perceive it that way.

It is indeed ridiculous that Apple doesn't have a block list for Messages on OS X. The best I can suggest is to leave Apple feedback about the lack of this feature. Otherwise, your only other options are to change the contact number(s)/alias(es) that you're using to something that the other person doesn't know, or to do your best to manually ignore them. Best of luck.

Yes, I fully agree with your comment - it's hard to understand why Apple allows for the blocking of buddies while not doing the same thing for iMessages contacts, which carry a much higher risk of harassment/bullying.

 

[RedRaven571]

change your e-mail address associated with iMessage or don't and let this continue.

Will this work if the iMessages are being sent to the iPhone number associated with the iMessage account?

If so, sounds like an approach.

 

[w0lf]

I'm not even sure if you can do this but my guess would be to block only incoming connections from the ports that iMeessage uses. Not sure if that would allow you to still send messages or no though. http://support.apple.com/kb/ht4245

You could also try this: http://support.apple.com/kb/HT5821

Good luck with getting something figured out.

 

[cmChimera]

And I speak about the average US mindset because I know it first-hand, period.

This is impossible, as you are not an "average US mindset" hivemind. You speculate on average US mindset based on your own personal experience, which is not a microcosm for United States mentality. Your statement reeks of arrogance.

 

[mtngoatjoe]

This more childish than useful, but if he's using an email, then sign him up for every mailing list known to man. Or text messages. Whichever he uses. Every store in the mall has a mailing list you can sign up for

 

[Ccrew]

And I speak about the average US mindset because I know it first-hand, period. Of course this perception does not apply to all - but it is absolutely undeniable that such an overwhelmingly "protestant/puritanical/prudish/cleaner-than-thou" attitude cannot be found anywhere else in the western world, be it in Europe, Central/South America or Oceania.

Geez this smacks of bigotry....

 

[Ledgem]

Will this work if the iMessages are being sent to the iPhone number associated with the iMessage account?

iMessage can be set up so that it receives at multiple email addresses and a phone number (possibly multiple phone numbers, but I've never seen it or tried). Changing an email address or phone number would not prevent Messages or an iOS device from receiving messages sent to the other email addresses or phone numbers. However, it isn't mandatory to receive iMessages sent to the phone number when using Messages on OS X.

The downside of doing this is that any messages sent to that "unlisted" phone number or email address from a legitimate contact wouldn't go through to Messages on the computer (or to any iOS devices that also unlisted the number or address). It's a relatively extreme measure to take, and one that Apple could easily fix. If a marriage is on the line, though, then it's a measure that might be worthwhile.

Just to be clear, "unlisting" the phone number (or an email address) from Messages on OS X doesn't disable that phone number across all devices. It just means that Messages on OS X won't see messages sent to that number/address. If your iPhone and/or iPad is still set to receive iMessages sent to that number/address, then you would see the messages there. Given that iOS has capabilities for a block list while Messages on OS X does not, it's a viable solution.

 

[HenryDJP]

And I speak about the average US mindset because I know it first-hand, period. Of course this perception does not apply to all - but it is absolutely undeniable that such an overwhelmingly "protestant/puritanical/prudish/cleaner-than-thou" attitude cannot be found anywhere else in the western world, be it in Europe, Central/South America or Oceania.

Ridiculous post. There are people like that everywhere in every country and you've got some nerve putting down the U.S. as if it's the majority. You're an individual, you know NOTHING about the U.S. as a whole so stop judging.

----------

Geez this smacks of bigotry....

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[It's Electric]

Long time reader, first time poster. I'm typically fairly reserved and don't really participate in community discussion, but today I do terribly need the help of the community.

Try this. I haven't tested it much.

Open AppleScript Editor. Paste in the code below with the following replacements:

• [BLOCKED NUMBER] is the blocked number in format "+15555555555"
• [YOUR EMAIL] is the iCloud email address used for the current account
• [BLOCKEDOUTPUT] is the text to be displayed when the blocked sender sends a message

property blockedNumber : "[BLOCKED NUMBER]"
property yourEmail : "E:[YOUR EMAIL]"
property blockedOutput : "[BLOCKED OUTPUT]"

using terms from application "Messages"
	
	on received text invitation theText from theBuddy for theChat
		
	end received text invitation
	
	on received audio invitation theText from theBuddy for theChat
		
	end received audio invitation
	
	on received video invitation theText from theBuddy for theChat
		
	end received video invitation
	
	on received remote screen sharing invitation from theBuddy for theChat
		
	end received remote screen sharing invitation
	
	on received local screen sharing invitation from theBuddy for theChat
		
	end received local screen sharing invitation
	
	on received file transfer invitation theFileTransfer
		
	end received file transfer invitation
	
	on buddy authorization requested theRequest
		
	end buddy authorization requested
	
	on message sent theMessage for theChat
		
	end message sent
	
	on message received theMessage from theBuddy for theChat
		set blockedBuddy to buddy blockedNumber of service yourEmail
		if theBuddy is equal to blockedBuddy then
			return blockedOutput as string
		end if
	end message received
	
	on chat room message received theMessage from theBuddy for theChat
		set blockedBuddy to buddy blockedNumber of service yourEmail
		if theBuddy is equal to blockedBuddy then
			return blockedOutput as string
		end if
	end chat room message received
	
	on active chat message received theMessage from theBuddy
		set blockedBuddy to buddy blockedNumber of service yourEmail
		if theBuddy is equal to blockedBuddy then
			return blockedOutput as string
		end if
	end active chat message received
	
	on addressed chat room message received theMessage from theBuddy for theChat
		set blockedBuddy to buddy blockedNumber of service yourEmail
		if theBuddy is equal to blockedBuddy then
			return blockedOutput as string
		end if
	end addressed chat room message received
	
	on addressed message received theMessage from theBuddy for theChat
		set blockedBuddy to buddy blockedNumber of service yourEmail
		if theBuddy is equal to blockedBuddy then
			return blockedOutput as string
		end if
	end addressed message received
	
	on av chat started
		
	end av chat started
	
	on av chat ended
		
	end av chat ended
	
	on login finished for theService
		
	end login finished
	
	on logout finished for theService
		
	end logout finished
	
	on buddy became available theBuddy
		
	end buddy became available
	
	on buddy became unavailable theBuddy
		
	end buddy became unavailable
	
	on completed file transfer
		
	end completed file transfer
end using terms from

Now, save the file to your desktop as "Blocked" using file format "Text."

Open the Messages app. Go to preferences. Under AppleScript handler choose "Open Scripts Folder." Drag the file from your desktop into the scripts folder. "Blocked.applescript" should now appear as an AppleScript handler option. Select it.

You could also use "decline theChat" if you do not even want to know that the person is trying to contact you.

 

[iPhil]

OP: try this - it might do the trick..

 

[scrod]

My wife has a writing disorder, the muscle memory she has with a physical keyboard is the reason we require the use of the mac for messaging.

You could still switch to iOS-only communications by getting a Bluetooth keyboard for her. It really works quite well and may be worth a shot.

 

[maflynn]

[MOD NOTE]
The off topic posts have been removed, this thread is not about Switzerland vs. U.S. Stay on topic