Don't care about looks, I know what my iPhone does, just want maximum protection against drops and a rubber friction grip on the desk so it doesn't get nudged off.
The Pixelskin is the probably the best case offered by Apple's free case program and the Defender is the most protective case on the market (with the Ballistic HC case in second).
Get the Speck PixelSkin. Not the PixelSkin HD, but the original one. It sounds exactly like what you're looking for. I've been using mine for the past month and it's great.