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My Life .. is pretty crappy right now.

C

Cochise

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Mar 21, 2007
4
0
I know.. theres emo threads all over the place.. but I guess I had to rant. I've been part of the Mac Community for a while now .. lots of reading. not to much posting.. so I felt that there may be people out there that can try to understand my situation.

I'm 18, a freshman in college.
I grew up away from my father - he's a businessman in an asian country 6500 miles away.
He has Lung Cancer - lethal within a handful of years.
I'm an intended business major - but my grades are looking like I wont be able to enter the business program.
My father needs me to go back and take over
I don't want to give up my life in America.
I just broke up with my 3 year girlfriend because I can't even concentrate on school work now that my father is in this situation I'm spending alot of my time out of the country managing the business, money, and just spending time with him.
I'm just kind of blah right now. sorry for the rant.
 
OK, this is pretty bad, but I think you should go back and run things under the condition that it will only be for a couple of years. If your father is ailing, he doesn't need to see his life's work falling apart around his ears as his health starts to give. If you really are the only one who can keep things ticking over, you should do so. After he's passed on you will have more options, not least of which going back to the USA and returning to college with a couple of years real experience under your belt.

It's only two years and could save your family's finances. Worth taking the time out IMO.

As for the breakup, yeah that sucks, but life goes on.
 
Do you think its worth giving up a couple of years of school for? My sister is 9 years older than me.. went to the same college.. She thinks that it would be semi-harmful if I quit on school now. I think she's more concerned with social development and interaction than the knowledge i'm going to gain in college. I know that i'll learn 100 fold in the real business world but i'll be surrounded with older people - a sacrifice that I may regret if I leave college early. And plus, if i'm making good money I may not have the incentive to return, right?
 
True, but when I was at Uni the people who had worked for a couple of years then gone to do their degree definitely got more out of being there. Sometimes it takes a break out of the studying routine to really focus the mind on why learning is so important. The social development side of things will come wherever you are. It gets us all in the end.

One question. Is you sister willing to take over the reins?
 
Talk with a counselor at your Uni about taking a semester/quarter off...if you are on semester system...do this ASAP because maybe you can take this semester off. Also try to get them to guarantee a spot when you come back should you need to withdraw for additional semesters. Explain the whole situation to your counselor, if the first one you talk to is not sympathetic, make an appointment with another counselor.

Since you are a freshman under a lot of stress, I'm betting the grades aren't reflective of your full academic potential, so just strive to improve them so that you can get into a good graduate school (sometimes graduate programs only look at the last two years of grades).

Your didn't specify what your father wants you to come and take over...is he talking about the business or is he talking about taking over the family?
 
Sit down and watch a "Its a Wonderful Life"

It should all seem strangely familiar. If you have the know-how to run the family business well, go home and run the family business.

Yeah you'll miss out on waking up in a pool of beer and a vomit, waking up next to a coed in an awkward situation where you don't know her name.
 
We own just over half a dozen department stores scattered throughout a handful of cities throughout china and also a shipping business (large ocean liners)
 
Cochise said:
We own just over half a dozen department stores scattered throughout a handful of cities throughout china and also a shipping business (large ocean liners)
Click to expand...

Depending on the current cultural attitudes, the business end sure sounds like something that either your sister or older members of your extended family should be handling. Surely nothing an 18 year old can handle...I'm sure even your father would understand that you would be more capable of taking the reigns of the business (or just taking over what parts you could handle from here) if you finished college and went to business school.

Don't get me wrong...it's important that you spend as much time with your father as you can, and I think taking a semester off of school and the summer (and extending it if necessary) would be a good idea...but I think longtime, it's important that you finish school not only for your own sake, but for that of your family's business.

Another thing to look at is if your university has any study abroad programs in the area...usually these are reserved for upper division students, but you might look into it to see if it is an option.
 
First of all, see the upside of it. You have two *great* choices other people would be dying to have:

a) work hard at school to get into business school, or
b) learn to run a multi million dollar business at an early age.

Both are excellent choices to start a great career. Many schools allow you to take leaves of absence for personal reasons of up to a YEAR, so inquire at your school ASAP. Then take the leave, but make sure to be in good standing at your school (no "incomplete" grades, be in good visa standing if you're not a citizen; also go to important prof's office hr. to explain situation and tell them you're enthusiastic about the opportunity to run family business for a year and are looking forward to return to school in a year).

Then go to Asia and learn as much about the business as you can while spending quality time with dad, but *also* explain to dad that your degree is important to you and you will need to return to school in a year and he and you will need to find a manager or family member who will be able to run the business at least until you're out of your business program, perhaps longer.

After the year return to school, focus totally on grades and schoolwork, get in the business program and finish the degree while spending summers at the family business in Asia. Once you have finished your degree make the choice whether you want to take over the family business or choose another path professionally.

Good luck!
 
If the business is worth it than you might have an opportunity here. My friend gave up going to james madsion university and instead is going to a not so great instate school because he has 12 people under him at an entertainment company...he's only 18 as well
 
hmm...

hey hey...
well 4 simple words
Don't Give Up Faith
have faith in yourself :) lol..its corny...but think about the end product and how to get there...its simple when u say it,hard to do it.but very gd when u get there :)
nothing beats good old hardwork, bah, grades...well if they arent THAT high, but you got the street smarts and respect and resources...you could make it, one of the few that can get there...i mean these days grades are everything indeed... *sighs* sucks...back in my parents day it didn't take much, just street smarts and a business mind.
And get yourself a 'pick me up' music list...so whenever you feel down..listen to it...
as for the gf...i dunno what to say there really...i wouldn't have dumped her really...i would've asked her if she could handle the situation etc. you know talk it over, but yeah i guess if you ended up coming to the decision of breakin up. *shrugs* guess it was for the best, but theres always so many more girls out there XD so cheer up man!
other remedy for feeling down...COMEDY! lol..good old comedy, take 30mins break from ur life and laugh ur ass off to something good.. :)
you can always work easier after a good laugh...
lifes got its ups and downs, up to you to decide how much the downs affect you and how much the ups do...as for people saying school councilers etc. uni ones or whatever..i dunno, i dont exactly think they can help per say...
experiance goes a hell lot more further then having a degree in psychology or something u knw? if sum1s been there and gotten through it...its easier.. *shrugs* but not every1 has problems like every1 else do, and thats what makes it a hell lot more respectful when you pull urself up and well...move on you know.. :)
You aint emo obviously...and respect to that, if you have the guts to make it a forum topic etc. i havent seen many,but for those willing to admit to others their problems and accept advice so forth and support, respect.
emo's are still around,cause they say they gonna kill themselves.but not MANY get around to it, if they all did, we wouldnt have emo's now would we...?just a thot. but respect man...
and good luck...and keep your head up :) :D

guess thats the end of my rant? :p
 
So instead of running your own business and "walking the walk", you want to go to school, learn about business, graduate, and then........get a job in the business world? Maybe start your own? Am I getting this right?

I say go run the business. You're going to graduate to do what is essentially the same thing. The thing you'll miss out on, though, is the social aspect of going to uni. However, you're going to live in a different country, meet all sorts of interesting people, see things that your friends will only see in movies, experience things that you won't be able to describe in words or photos, and you're going to have options in 1 or 2 years that your friends won't have.

School will always be there, waiting for you. Schools won't disappear. Your father and his business will very soon. :eek:

PS: Sorry about your situation. :eek:
 
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, but I should worn you, lung cancer is extremely aggressive; usually the victim's life is measured in months, not years. :(
 
hugs!

I know that can be a really crappy situation. I've had to really limit classes and activities in the past year and for the next year or two because of unforseen issues that needed to be taken care of because I couldn't completely stop and come back after a year or two - I didn't think that was such a great idea..not that what I'm doing is much better, but..

Maybe like everyone's mentioned above, there's another way of looking at your situation? Or possibly some way to take a break from school for a while and get things sorted and running with someone else and coming back?

Stopping and then returning is not as easy as it seems, but many people I have classes with are representative of those people who are coming back to finish degrees and to get new ones even later in life, for various reasons...one woman in a class of mine was bragging that her grandchildren would be coming to see her graduate this June... while another was talking about how she's taking a class or two at a time until she can get into a veterinary medicine program because she's juggling two jobs and a kid.

Your grades might not be the best, but given effort, it's possible to do lots of things.

Best of luck to you, and I'm sorry to hear about your dad :(
 
I'm sorry to hear all that. But just know, and i'm not trying to put your problems down, that we really do have it kinda good... know that there are people out there in the world who have it so bad that they would do anything to be in your shoes.

You're 18, and life is supposed to be tough, this is when you find out who you are. This is when you find out what you're really made of.

I'm going through a rough time myself, and whenever I think about giving up, or caving... I listen to a song by Rascal Flatts, "Stand". (I liked it before it was on the radio)...

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you’ve lost your fight
But you’ll be alright, you’ll be alright.
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand.
 
I think i'm pretty set on spending as much time as I can with him, learning along side him, and well, just making the best of the time that he's got left. Doctor results are good. Research says the medication's 50th percentile last about 500 days beyond treatment and his stats say that he's way above 50th percentile. I think if he keeps his spirits up he'll have a good handful of years says the doctor.

I'll keep going to school, but i'll also start juggling a bit of the work. None of the day to day, but more of family finances and investments other than the two major firms. I think that sounds okay, dont you?
 
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