My experience is limited to a $1 dumb phone (thank you amazon.com)
I'm retired and not real active. So my use of an iPhone will be minimal. Which David Pogue book should I read, or is it not worth the bother?
My primary use will be to make calls with an occasional need for maps and driving instructions.
No web surfing. Very little texting.
Gary, did you ever find the recommended book? From what I can see, Pogue's 4th edition covers the iPhone 4. You can get a copy here through Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/iPhone-The-Missing-Manual-Edition/dp/1449393659
Pogue is the NYT technical columnist and I have several of his books on other subjects/equipment. When I bought my 1st iPhone (5s in March) the first thing I did was go out and get a copy of his iPhone The Missing Manual (7th ed.) for it.
I would not even bother with ANY OTHER technical author - he's that good. Clear, concise with just a bit of humor thrown in - not like the overboard stuff in the "Dummies" genre.
I was in much the same boat as you (except for the family.) Had always had a "dumb phone" (LG flip phone) and never did any internet surfing, movie downloading and such on a phone (old eyes - better done on a larger computer screen). But I got my iPhone as a kind of "technology hedge" against what I COULD be using it for in the near future and so far, it's worked out OK.
Something to realize though with your new "smartphone". The battery life is now where near what you'd get out of your old dumb phone. Even if you only use your new 4s as a cell phone, you're probably only going to get about 2-3 days worth of charge out of it until it needs to be re-charged. My old LG would go for about 7-10 days between charges.
With limited usage, there are a number of settings you can make to reduce the battery usage and increase it's life between charges. If you're near someplace with an Apple Store, try wandering in and looking confused. They're generally pretty helpful to us "older folk" and will usually help you with getting the thing set up just right for you.
But seriously, get the Pogue manual and you won't be sorry.