Peculiar Childhood Thoughts or Misconceptions

[AngerDanger]

I was in bed last night, and there was just enough light that my vision appeared grainy, causing me to remember that this used to freak me out as a kid. I think at the time (when I was four or five) I was worried it was a sign of deteriorating vision. I remember just staring, hoping that if I did it long enough my vision would clear up, but as anyone who has fixed their vision in one spot for long enough knows, that only amplifies aberrations in sight (blind spots that are normally content-aware-filled by the brain become prominent, etc). Eventually, it would look as though the grain was expanding and contracting which reminded me of mouths, saying "Obidobidobidobido." So as a kid, the term I assigned to film grain or digital noise in images was "Obidoes" [oh-bee-doughs].

I had also heard the pupil was a hole in the eye, giving me the impression that there was no biological lens of any kind covering the dark spot in the center of our irises. I now know that this is not only untrue, but it would also interfere with our ability to focus our vision. But around the same age as I'd created the Obidoes, I used to worry that something would… fall… into my eyes.

If you have any odd thoughts or misconceptions from your childhood, post 'em here. I'm curious to learn just how dumb I was relative to other children.

 

[Dru_555]

I used to pronounce facade as fak-aid

...until I was 10

 

[jdechko]

As a kid, I remember not understanding how radio stations worked. I thought the band had to come to the station and play the song live.

 

[Thomas Veil]

I remember watching the small type at the end of the show that said, "We would like to thank the United Network Command for Law Enforcement for their cooperation in the production of this program" and thinking, Wait...they're real?

 

[hawkeye_a]

I remember trying to figure out how to draw a lit light bulb and being annoyed that it never looked real.

Travelling a lot through my life, i remember seeing the same tv show in different countries for the first time and being really confused(VHS).

 

[jbarley]

I remember hearing somewhere as a kid, that if you walked straight ahead long and far enough you would eventually end up back right where you started from.
I also remember thinking maybe I should try that out to see if it worked, next Saturday.

 

[mollyc]

I always thought that signs that said “No Outlet” meant once you drove on them you weren’t allowed to leave them ever again.

 

[Gutwrench]

I struggled putting on my pajamas as a little boy. I guess I’d always put the bottoms on backwards.

One night while dressing me for bed mom handed my bottoms to me saying the front has a fly on it. I was stumped. I kept searching and searching the waistband for a tiny picture of a fly. No can do. Mom used to joke about returning me to the orphanage.

 

[velocityg4]

So many to think of. It's hard to choose.

I saw Star Wars Ewok Adventures as a kid. I don't recall which one. Anyways, I thought that was Star Wars. I didn't remember the full title just that it was Star Wars. I couldn't understand why my friends thought Star Wars was so great. I thought they were idiots. When my mom rented Star Wars. I refused to watch it. I wasn't about to sit through that again.

It wasn't until Junior High. A friend wanted to watch the Star Wars movies. We had the set on tape by then, unopened. I gave it a shot. Then I realized what a fool I had been and what I had been missing all those years.

 

[chown33]

Surely sticking this bobby pin into an electrical socket can't possibly be dangerous. After all, based on my months of experience sticking plugs into sockets when all that happened was a light or motor went on, I'm sure this will just do... well... something that may be interesting.

After a storm of sparks and a hairpin curve branded onto my thumb and forefinger later... Huh, that was certainly interesting, but I don't think I'll try it again.

 

[SnacksGU]

That if you dug a very deep hole you would end up in China. (Lived in US)

 

[decafjava]

That if you dug a very deep hole you would end up in China. (Lived in US)

Huh there was an iOS app that would show you where to dig based on your location and where you wanted to dig to...no longer availbe sadly.

Well I was confused hearing about guerrillas on the news as a kid - yes I thought they were actual gorillas attacking people. I also thought the banging on our car's exhaust one time was kermit the frog trying to be let in. I was 6 years old ok?

 

[jtara]

"Refrigelator".

That, and one time we were in the car, and there was a a sign "barricade ahead" that happened to be just before a a tunnel entrance. I couldn't read it and asked what it said. I heard it as "bear cave" and I bawled my eyes out...

And, yea, that "guerrilla fighter" thing...

 

[WarHeadz]

Man, you guys were dumb kids. Jk.

When i was little i thought "firefighter" was pronounced "fire-fire!"

 

[eyoungren]

I can't really recall anything like that, so I will just relate a story about my daughter.

She was probably five or six and coming back home from a place in the dark. Because she couldn't see in the dark in the back seat she thought I couldn't see. And that freaked her out enough for her to start crying.

I had to explain to her that the car had lights and a lighted instrument panel and so I could 'see'.

 

[D.T.]

Thinking there was a monster in the closet, or under the bed, then I grew up ... and realized I was __right__.

 

[scubachap]

She was probably five or six and coming back home from a place in the dark. Because she couldn't see in the dark in the back seat she thought I couldn't see. And that freaked her out enough for her to start crying.

Ha ha - that's great. Well not good she got upset but great child logic. When I was small I never understood why if you were running out of fuel you couldn't just go a lot faster and get there quicker before you ran out...

 

[ruka.snow]

An odd one that buggered me till my teen years, when I was 5 I did a you show me yours and I'll show you mine. The girl was not atomically correct so I got into my head if I wore a dress for too long my parts would fall off and this is how girls where made.

 

[chown33]

Thinking there was a monster in the closet, or under the bed, then I grew up ... and realized I was __right__.

That was me. It was a decent gig while it lasted.

 

[D.T.]

That was me. It was a decent gig while it lasted.

You almost got me a couple of times with that whole: "Are you a monster?", "No, and I brought candy" routine ...

Good times.

I didn't even mind the cost of therapy.

 

[chown33]

You almost got me a couple of times with that whole: "Are you a monster?", "No, and I brought candy" routine ...

Good times.

I didn't even mind the cost of therapy.

Good times indeed.

I always liked the classic peeled grapes / eyeballs trick. That was especially good when I used a little dot of blue food coloring to make an "iris", then I'd bite that part off first.

Freelance monstering is a lot tougher these days, with all the new regulations and the Monspector General's office always up your sphincter. Well, up my sphincter, since your sphincter was work I subcontracted out.

And isn't it odd that sphinx and sphincter are such similar words, but such wildly different things.

 

[AngerDanger]

… I always liked the classic peeled grapes / eyeballs trick. That was especially good when I used a little dot of blue food coloring to make an "iris", then I'd bite that part off first. …

Oh, Jesus, guys, you know how I feel about eyes! Please don't do this.

 

[chown33]

Oh, Jesus, guys, you know how I feel about eyes! Please don't do this.

We should vote on it.

Oh look, the eyes have it!

 

[millerj123]

We should vote on it.

Oh look, the eyes have it!

You've been in rare form today, but as my children inform me "dad jokes are lame"...

When I was very young I thought it should be possible to fly if I just had enough runway around the block. I was so disappointed that what I got was tired, and I never even got to try mastering flight. Keep in mind, I did have a blanket tied around my neck for a cape. Clearly requirements were followed.

 

[chown33]

You've been in rare form today, but as my children inform me "dad jokes are lame"...

It's been well over a decade since I did any monstering gigs. My contract didn't allow me to keep any of the timely clever jokes. The old lame jokes are all I have left, and many of them are out to pasture or catching the eye of the knacker.