Place Your Bets: What's Causing the Death Grip? (A Poll!)

[keyofnight]

Let's lay the cards out on the table—what exactly is going on with the iP4's evil vulcan death pinch?

 

[rdowns]

I would have voted but facepalm was not an option.

 

[keyofnight]

I would have voted but facepalm was not an option.

Oh! I forgot that one! Or: "Wtf are you talking about?"

 

[nospeed411]

The longer this goes on the more pissed I get. I am ready to shove this phone up the closest apple employees butt.

You forgot that choice too.

 

[DaftDrunk]

I blame those pesky gotcha media liberal elites, with their lies and propagandizing, you betcha!

 

[Cambot]

I blame those pesky gotcha media liberal elites, with their lies and propagandizing, you betcha!

This.

So I'm voting elves but the rubber band conspiracy is pretty tempting.

 

[SpaceKitty]

I tried really putting a rubber band around mine but it looks kind of funny.

I'm gonna get a bumper today I think.

 

[Bodycalming]

I tried really putting a rubber band around mine but it looks kind of funny.

I'm gonna get a bumper today I think.

Why? Oh why? Are you trying to fix an Apple problem! The iPhone is "Not Fit For Purpose" mine will back to Apple Lakeside (UK) tomorrow for a full refund, unless Apple "fix" the problem today!!!

 

[bob5820]

Interference caused by residual unicorn tears used in the manufacturing process.

 

[SpaceKitty]

Interference caused by residual unicorn tears used in the manufacturing process.

Those poor Unicorns used in place of child labor. I edited my original post here because I can't believe I typed what I did. I did mean child labor and not something else labor.

 

[The Californian]

Off the top of my head I would say, Gripping any phone will result in some attenuation of its antenna performance, with certain places being worse than others depending on the placement of the antennas. This is a fact of life for every wireless phone.

 

[AbSoluTc]

Elves. I found one trying to steal my socks out of the dryer one day. They are sly little things. You gotta be careful.

 

[br0adband]

We needed a Gnomes category or option in this as well:

1) Bring iPhone 4 to market with defects, watch the sheep scurry in search of them even so, offer terse emails open to interpretation as reasonable explanations, sell rubber bands
2) ?!?!?!?!
3) PROFIT!!!

(if you don't get that or you haven't seen the relevant South Park episode, you can catch the relevant clip itself here)

Anyway, I chose the first three since I'm convinced they're all relevant in the big scheme of things iPhone 4 related.