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Planning on asking my GF to marry me

jcarm24

jcarm24

macrumors regular
Original poster
Mar 20, 2005
149
0
C-Ville, VA
My girlfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged for a while, and I am planning on asking her soon. Her birthday is on Jan. 2nd, and I would like to ask her by then. Surprisingly, I am getting nervous...despite the fact that she knows I'm going to do it. She just doesn't know when.

I have yet to buy the ring, but I know what I'm looking for (in regards to the four C's). We've picked out the kind of stone she wants, Are there any rookie mistakes that I should look out for? Any simple tips that my fellow MR members have for me?

Any advice you might have (where to look for the ring, how to buy it, etc) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
 
jcarm24 said:
My girlfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged for a while, and I am planning on asking her soon. Her birthday is on Jan. 2nd, and I would like to ask her by then. Surprisingly, I am getting nervous...despite the fact that she knows I'm going to do it. She just doesn't know when.

I have yet to buy the ring, but I know what I'm looking for (in regards to the four C's). We've picked out the kind of stone she wants, Are there any rookie mistakes that I should look out for? Any simple tips that my fellow MR members have for me?

Any advice you might have (where to look for the ring, how to buy it, etc) would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Click to expand...
Before January 2nd? I only see 2 ways you can do this... ;)

For Christmas - I've always wanted around this time to make my move, but it's more of a tradition thing I suppose. But- the holidays have always been a happy time for me, so...

On New Years - It might be cool to get down on one knee and propose right as the 10 starts to countdown. Making the time it hits, extra special as a kiss.

Congratulations!!!
 
I've heard that Christmas, in front of parents, and birthdays are no-no's for proposals. New Years is probably okay though.

Guess it depends on the gal though.

Make sure you update us and good luck! (sucker! :p)

(really I'm just a sad sad single man)
 
forgot to mention, enjoy your life together! ;)

ballnchain.jpg
 
do not propose around christmas

Most women are already stressed out around this time. They fill pressure to buy presents for everyone, they feel pressure to cook and clean the house for the holiday's. Etc.

Almost any guide to proposing says to NOT propose during the christmas holidays!!!!! Or Birthdays!!!!
 
Lot's of great responses...thanks!

I do like the New Year's proposal. The reason i mentioned it proposing on/near her bday is because she knows its coming, and if she doesn't see the ring by then she's gonna question why i haven't ask her. so slipping it in right on new years is great.

any one buy a ring from costco's? even though it sounds cheap / risky, I've a few great stories about their service. Any bad experiences? Any bad experiences any where else?
 
SilentPanda said:
I've heard that Christmas, in front of parents, and birthdays are no-no's for proposals. New Years is probably okay though.

Guess it depends on the gal though.

Make sure you update us and good luck! (sucker! :p)

(really I'm just a sad sad single man)
Click to expand...
I like the idea of a Christmas proposal. Well... My brother and brother-in-law did it, not on Christmas, not in front of the parents, but around that time, each a couple of days before. It worked out really well because then it was so easy to tell the entire families.
 
jcarm24 said:
Lot's of great responses...thanks!

I do like the New Year's proposal. The reason i mentioned it proposing on/near her bday is because she knows its coming, and if she doesn't see the ring by then she's gonna question why i haven't ask her. so slipping it in right on new years is great.

any one buy a ring from costco's? even though it sounds cheap / risky, I've a few great stories about their service. Any bad experiences? Any bad experiences any where else?
Click to expand...
I'm glad you like my idea!:D

I would say around here the best ways to go are Wedding Day Jewelers. I don't know if that is regional or not... but they do a lot of post-gifting stuff, as well. Like sizing for life and stuff.
 
Do NOT propose on Christmas. It will be seen as a Christmas present and it needs to stand alone. Same with birthdays. New Years is a great idea, so long as she gets her regular share of birthday presents 2 days later.:D

I had to weigh in on this, my step daughters gave me strict instructions on what not to do( they're both married). I proposed on Valentine's Day. It was safest.:p

Good luck and have fun.
 
A few thoughts from my proposal a couple of years ago. First, forget the guides. Guides are for people that live for guidance. Do whatever you think works for you. Me? I proposed mid-December after going out to look at the National Christmas Tree. We seem to be happily married.
 
The linked guide is for choosing a good diamond. Something I would NOT suggest doing without some foreknowledge.
 
Couple of points:

- Do not propose on Xmas, New Years of any other holiday. Holidays are special for their own reasons. If you need to ask before 1/2, do it on one of the days that you have between the holidays and create a holiday just for you two. (For example, my wife and I still go out to celebrate the day I asked her to marry me.)

- Do not worry about what you are going to say. I had a huge speech prepared and when it came time, I dropped on one knee said a bunch of stuff and then forgot to actually ask her to marry me.

- Do make sure to enforce that this is in addition to her B-Day and Xmas presents. That means buying the same amount of stuff for those holidays that you would normally.

- Do everything that you can to make it special. Don't just ask her. The fact that she knows it is coming is not a good reason to just ask her. Make it memorable.

- Do (and I cannot stress this enough), after you have the ring, setup a time to meet with her father. Bring the ring and ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. It is traditional, it is classy and most of all, it will make dealing with the inlaws that much easier for the wedding plans. If the father is not available, ask her mother. The fact that I did this and the appreciation for it still gets brought up and its been 10 years.
 
Only a month to plan and no ring? Come on now...;)

If you know you are going to do it then research and try to get the best bang for your buck and then pop the question in a more private way - I agree don't do it with all the folks watching - dod something more memorable and romantic...my 2 cents :)
 
www.pricescope.com

don't get it from a chain store.....but you may not have time.

find a dependable private jeweler and they'll work with you.

price is negotiable. pay for it now.....don't plan on ''upgrades''.

good luck....it can be a lot of fun.
 
jcarm24 said:
any one buy a ring from costco's? even though it sounds cheap / risky, I've a few great stories about their service. Any bad experiences? Any bad experiences any where else?
Click to expand...

Something to keep in mind.

After you give her the ring, you may have to bring her to the store to get it sized. Would she be OK with a ring from Costco? What's their policy on sizing or exchange if she sees something else she likes better.

Oh yea and congrats:D
 
beatzfreak said:
Something to keep in mind.

After you give her the ring, you may have to bring her to the store to get it sized. Would she be OK with a ring from Costco? What's their policy on sizing or exchange if she sees something else she likes better.

Oh yea and congrats:D
Click to expand...

Thanks -

Based on their other return policies, I would hope they would be pretty liberal about it. My buddy bought a $2000 plasma TV over the summer and has since returned it 3 times to some money back. He's the one who suggested looking there. I even showed her the rings on the Costco website and she seemed impressed with the prices and styles.

My feeling is that as long as i can see the diamond's specs, I don't mind buying it Costco. Since I know the style and cut that she wants, I'm not going to be intimidated by a sales clerk trying to push me towards a certain stone.
 
I proposed last New Years Day while on holiday in Florida. I've always felt that New Years Day is actually a pretty tame holiday compared with the other main dates during the Christmas season, so now we actually have something to celebrate on that day!

Ring-wise, you could also consider doing what I did - because I wasn't completely sure of what kind of setting my other half would want, I bought her a kind of short-term ring with a tiny diamond in it for about £100. That way she had something for the day and to tell people she was engaged, and we were able to go shopping for exactly the right ring a month or two later, costing about 10x as much. She now wears the £100 ring as an extra ring on her other hand.
 
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