Please translate these iPhone euphemisms

[bollweevil]

What does this mean in normal terms:

"So I prison break my phone, use Chlamydia to install un-John Hancock'd apps, then I somehow use a Surfboard to change the way my African Safari looks"

Things I can figure out:

Prison break = Jailbreak
un-John Hancock'd = unsigned
African Safari = Safari or maybe just web browser

What do "Chlamydia" and "Surfboard" mean?

 

[Codepiink]

Cydia and Summerboard perhaps?

 

[lazard]

What does this mean in normal terms:

"So I prison break my phone, use Chlamydia to install un-John Hancock'd apps, then I somehow use a Surfboard to change the way my African Safari looks"

Things I can figure out:

Prison break = Jailbreak
un-John Hancock'd = unsigned
African Safari = Safari or maybe just web browser

What do "Chlamydia" and "Surfboard" mean?

chlamydia = cydia
surfboard = winterboard/dreamboard

 

[BFizzzle]

Cydia and Summerboard perhaps?

but summerboard is oldddd hermmm

who made this up? kinda dumb IMO the cydia one made me lol