I want to be able to stream my itunes library outside my network. Like if I am at work or wherever, I can control my itunes library and listen to it over the internet. this wouldnt be public and only I could access it. Is this possible?
yes, this is possible. I found this through an iPod app called Simplify Media 2. This app allows you to stream your entire music library to your ipod, as long as you are on wi-fi (or 3G/EDGE on the iPhone). How it works is the software comes with companion software that you must install on your home computer. Then, your home computer basically acts as a server and you can access your music anywhere.
If you want to skip the iPod and stream to you work computer, that is also possible. You simply install the Simplify Media desktop companion on both your work computer and your home computer. Leave your home computer on when you go to work and now you should be able to access all of your media at work. When you open iTunes, you will see the "shared" folder in the left hand column. Simply click this and voila!, you have access to your iTunes library just like you were at home (except you cannot edit the files).