Q for Divorced Dads

[Cooknn]

So, every weekend for the last 10 years I've been driving to the ex-wife's and picking up my boys for the weekend. Now my oldest is 16 and is fortunate enough to have his own car. He also gets together with his freinds a lot on the weekends to go to the beach, or the movies, etc. Of course they all live in the same area - which is like 25 minutes away from my place. So anyways, I was always cool with a trip up and back - never even hassled the ex about coming to get them, but now it seems that a single weekend requires multiple trips back and forth...

Until the suggestion came up today that I shouldn't worry about it at all and should just let the 16 year old drive (him and my 12 year old) to my place on the weekends. I guess I should be okay with that - but it just doesn't seem right to me. I always picked them up. Putting the burden on my oldest to drive to my place doesn't seem like the right thing to do. He's totally up with it though. As well as little brother and the ex. I suppose I could throw some gas money in his tank on the weekends to make up for it.

Anybody else out there gone through this? Thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated

 

[PlaceofDis]

i haven't gone through it, but trying to think of it from the 16 year old perspective. driving is new and a fun thing for him, so of course hes not going to mind it.

i don't really see a problem with it, its not so far.. if it was an hour or more then i would have a different thought on it. and it allows him some independence. throw him a few bucks here and there for gas money and i think its alright. better than multiple trips for all of you i would think. but i understand how you could be bothered by it as well. best to talk it out with all parties involved.

 

[tektonnic]

Ok, again I'm not a divorced dad, but I guess it depends really, my dad comes to get me from university (every 3 weekends of so) when i could just as easily get the train, but I enjoy the time in the car with him, its kind of non-distracted time to chat.

I guess that probably doesnt help you much, sorry, hope you sort it out anyway boss.

 

[Motley]

Just give some money for gas and be happy. He gets to assert his independence and drive and you still get the see them. Everybody wins.

 

[Cooknn]

Appreciate the feedback guys. I shouldn't have addressed it to divorced dads only - we have a great bunch here on MR.

BTW PlaceofDis, diggin' the old 'tar back again

 

[mkrishnan]

I think it's a good idea too, if he likes it / suggested it. It recognizes his responsibility and trustworthiness as he's growing up. That's very, very important to 16 year olds....