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If I buy RAM from a 3rd party can I take it to the apple store and have them install it? I don't mind paying

I don't think so. Even so, you'll have to pay for the installation, which might make the Apple ram cheaper. Actually, why don't you install it yourself? It's super easy, seriously.
 
Nope they won't. Asked on my mac mini, only way they will is if you buy it there. On a macbook, I wouldn't even think about it. Its super easy, just three screws and pull two levers. Done.
 
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