Question about weddings/bachelor parties/showers/etc.

[puma1552]

Yesterday a friend asked me to be a groomsman for his wedding next year. I've never been a groomsman, nor been invited to any weddings. I said sure and am honored to be one.

But I have to wonder, how much am I going to be out of pocket for everything all said and done?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like the following:

--Gift for wedding shower (~$50)
--Gift at wedding (~$50, in addition to wedding shower? )
--Tux rental (~$75-$200?)
--Bachelor party ($$$, if he has one)?

Google tells me the groomsmen apparently foot the bill for the entire bachelor party, and split it, is this true? Curious, besides the groomsmen and the groom, do other people go to the bachelor party? It would be one thing if it were just the groomsmen and the groom, but it could get expensive quick if a bunch of other people go at the groomsmens' expense IMO.

I'm honored to be a groomsman, and I do have the money, but I'm not really excited to spend upwards of $1,000 (assuming a bachelor party is had).

What can I expect to spend, what is the etiquette here? Is there anything else I'm missing in my bullet point list above or is that pretty inclusive of everything that goes with a full-on wedding?

 

[Big Dave]

Here is how it works.
You rent your own tux.
You buy a gift for the wedding.
The best man gets with you to organize a bachelor party. You guys can invite a whole bunch of people and everyone pays their own way plus a little extra so the groom doesn't have to pay anything.

That is pretty much it man. The groom will probably give you a small gift for being a groom's man. The real benefit is the access to the bride's maids and other single women at the wedding.

 

[mobilehaathi]

There's a lot of different marriage customs. I suppose the best people to ask would be your colleagues in the groom's party.

 

[Tomorrow]

I said sure and am honored to be one.

In this case, "honored" means "financially obligated."

--Gift for wedding shower (~$50)
--Gift at wedding (~$50, in addition to wedding shower? )

One gift. Either at the wedding or the shower. You're not obligated to buy two.

Google tells me the groomsmen apparently foot the bill for the entire bachelor party, and split it, is this true?

Customarily, yes, this is true. Not a hard-and-fast rule, though.

Curious, besides the groomsmen and the groom, do other people go to the bachelor party?

Yep. I've been to a few, but never as a groom or groomsman.

It would be one thing if it were just the groomsmen and the groom, but it could get expensive quick if a bunch of other people go at the groomsmens' expense IMO.

And now you're seeing why it's such an "honor."

What can I expect to spend, what is the etiquette here? Is there anything else I'm missing in my bullet point list above or is that pretty inclusive of everything that goes with a full-on wedding?

You could, of course, politely decline. You're under no obligation to spend money you're not comfortable spending.

 

[rick snagwell]

Here is how it works.
You rent your own tux.
You buy a gift for the wedding.
The best man gets with you to organize a bachelor party. You guys can invite a whole bunch of people and everyone pays their own way plus a little extra so the groom doesn't have to pay anything.

That is pretty much it man. The groom will probably give you a small gift for being a groom's man. The real benefit is the access to the bride's maids and other single women at the wedding.

as i am getting married in september, this is true. and you get a free dinner assuming they are doing a rehearsal dinner the night before the big day.

and as far as the tux rental goes, i just did mine today and it will cost each groomsman $177. this was a top of the line tux w/ shoe rental.

just remember, when its your day, all this happens for you as well.

 

[OnceYouGoMac]

You could, of course, politely decline. You're under no obligation to spend money you're not comfortable spending.

As this is a Mac forum, I'd advise the OP to save the money up for a new Retina Macbook Pro instead but don't tell the wedding party that