Ring Fingers (Advice Required)

[sreedy]

OK, I'm planning to ask my girlfriend to marry me in the new year and have been doing some recon on engagement rings and have hit the classic snag of "what ring size to buy". She wears a ring on the same finger on the other hand and I have managed to size that (UK size N).

So my question to all the ladies out there is.......

Are these two fingers on your hands the same size?

And my question to anyone with experience of this......

What did you do? / did someone do for you?

Now I know I can get it re-sized later so I am going for best guess that will fit on the day (subject to a yes of course!)

 

[Blue Velvet]

Are these two fingers on your hands the same size?

No. The ring on my ring-finger on my left hand will not fit (comfortably) on the same finger on my right.

 

[sreedy]

No. The ring on my ring-finger on my left hand will not fit (comfortably) on the same finger on my right.

Poo! I wonder if that's the norm.

 

[Lau]

Mine are slightly different, but the same ring will fit on both fingers. Also, because I wear a ring on the left finger, there's a kind of groove worn in it, which makes it fit better. From what I recall, when I wore a ring on my right ring finger, there was a groove worn there instead which made that fit better, so I wonder if my fingers are pretty much the same size.

So, should I be keeping an eye out in Bath in the new year for a guy down on one knee? How are you thinking of doing it?

 

[Blue Velvet]

Poo! I wonder if that's the norm.

Poo? The norm?

To be honest, there's not much in it but enough to make a difference.

Maybe my right hand is fractionally muscular because it gets used more often... don't have a ring chart handy so I couldn't tell you what the difference was.

However, my left foot is larger than my right.
Just thought I'd share that with you.

 

[Lau]

Maybe my right hand is fractionally muscular because it gets used more often... don't have a ring chart handy so I couldn't tell you what the difference was.

Actually, my right hand was always more muscular than my left in the past, and I always put it down to writing and drawing a lot. Now though, they seem to be both the same, no doubt due to the fact I type and use the computer for design more.

 

[sreedy]

So, should I be keeping an eye out in Bath in the new year for a guy down on one knee? How are you thinking of doing it?

I didn't realise you were in Bath too. How I'm thinking of doing it is a tough one.... We are going to Paris early in the new year for her birthday, so that it a possibility but I can't help but think it's a little obvious/cheesy. But having said that.... isn't that what it's supposed to be classically romantic.

So, I may have to come up with another plan....

 

[sreedy]

Poo? The norm?

Sorry didn't mean to insinuate you were normal ;-)

don't have a ring chart handy so I couldn't tell you what the difference was..

I found a great two online @ Ernest Jones, one of for measuring existing rings and one for wrapping round the finger.

However, my left foot is larger than my right.
Just thought I'd share that with you.

hmmmm wierd-o

 

[Lau]

Hmm. I have a hatred of cheesiness, but it all sounds like a perfect combination, what with her birthday as well. You could do it in Paris, and not make it cheesy. Or you could do it before you go, and then have the holiday as a kind of celebration of the fact you're engaged.

I found a great two online @ Ernest Jones, one of for measuring existing rings and one for wrapping round the finger.

Just wrap it round her finger when she's asleep!

 

[Palad1]

Ask her mother.

Worked for me (twice, with different mothers, don't ask...)

 

[Applespider]

Mine are different too... not massively so but enough that a ring that is just right on one is slightly loose on the other.

I'd suggest doing the old trick with a bit of string while she's asleep (since it might be harder to read the ringmeasurer then)

Alternatively, since her fingers won't vary all that much, get the one that you think should fit and if it doesn't, all good jewellers will resize for you.

 

[Deepdale]

However, my left foot is larger than my right. Just thought I'd share that with you.

Same situation here ... but that's nothing, Blue. My right eye is twice as large as my left. Just kidding ... I am not ready for my own special spot in the Guinness Book of Oddities (at least not yet).

 

[sreedy]

Ask her mother.

No no no, I want to marry her not her mother ......... ohhhhh I get you; ask her about the ring size

 

[jdechko]

Or you could get one of her friends to help you out. That works too. From experience, I don't have much advice to give you. We picked out the ring after I'd already asked her. So it wasn't much of a surprise.

 

[yellow]

You really want to shoot for the proper size, but if you can't just remember, it's a lot easier to resize a ring DOWN, than it is to resize it UP in sizes.

 

[Doctor Q]

Fingers are often nonsymmetrical from one hand to the other, so judging by the other hand is not a good way to determine ring size. It's only a good guess.

Perhaps you could give her a friendship ring or even a toy ring "just for fun" and watch as she tests to see which fingers it fits on.

It's possible to get rings resized after the fact if you have to guess and don't guess right, but that costs more money.

 

[FoxyKaye]

You really want to shoot for the proper size, but if you can't just remember, it's a lot easier to resize a ring DOWN, than it is to resize it UP in sizes.

Sage advice. My fingers have gotten larger over the past couple years with doing extensive pottery - getting my engagement ring resized was a royal PITA.

I also have asymmetrical finger sizes - none of the rings from one hand will properly fit the other hand. Though, this I blame on arthritis.

Hope "the question" goes well!

 

[Raid]

What did you do? / did someone do for you?

Now I know I can get it re-sized later so I am going for best guess that will fit on the day (subject to a yes of course!)

Well first off, good luck!

I was going through the same debate just about a year ago myself. Since I wanted to keep this a total surprise I opted for the "measure her ring finger using one of your own" method.

You can do this when your at lunch/dinner/movie with her. Just place your hand (lovingly of course) on top of her hand and see if any of your digits match her left hand ring finger. I found with my wife-to-be that my left 'pinkie' finger was a good match and got the ring sized to that. While it did fit I was off by about half a ring size (sorry 'merican measurements) off so resizing was needed. Usually resizing once is free of charge and for me was done over my lunch hour.

Now in regards to the purchasing, have you only gone to jewlery stores or have you looked into diamond merchants? I was hooked up with a diamond merchant here in Toronto and was able to choose from a wide variety of stones, and at fantastic price.

 

[Doctor Q]

How 'bout this? Give her 10 poptops from soda cans (or other ring-shaped items) and tell her to put them on all 10 fingers because you want to take a funny photo. Then notice how loose/tight the one is on her ring finger. You'll even have photographic evidence!

From that, you can judge which of your fingers has the same diameter as hers and determine the ring size from your matching finger.

And speaking of popping, how are you planning to pop the question? Here's a thread with romantic stories including proposals.

 

[SilentPanda]

I'm not married (cry) but when I was contemplating it all I did was bring up the subject of high school class rings. I said I wore a size 10 blah blah blah and eventually she told me her ring size... voila!

 

[dali]

So my question to all the ladies out there is.......

Are these two fingers on your hands the same size?

Almost. I have the same size of rings on both hands but one is more loose then the other one.

 

[iBlue]

i think it has to do with dominnt hand, the size being slightly larger. i am right handed, my right ring finger is slightly bigger than my left. it is about a 1/4 of a size difference.

good idea to get one slightly bigger and have it sized down than get one too small and have to have it enlarged; it costs more (because they have to add the gold) and it's a little frustrating when it happens. keep in mind that if this ring is platinum that sizing is a big issue, so it's best to really know her ring size if you are going with that metal.

good luck!

P.S. my huband did the right thing, we picked out my ring together i'm terribly picky so this was a smart move. i chose a princess cut, which looks a bit like this one classic styles are always best.
my $.02

(edited to use more accurate picture)

 

[floriflee]

My left hand is roughly the same size as my right hand, but my right-hand fingers are slightly skinnier.

The other thing to take into consideration is that her finger size will change throughout the year depending upon weather and other factors (i.e., that certain time of the month). I know my fingers get more swollen in the heat of summer. They don't get much bigger, but I can definitely tell a difference in ease of getting my rings on and off at certain times throughout the year. So... getting a perfect fit now may not be a perfect fit later. Having kids, and, as mentioned, occupation and/or hobbies could also affect her ring size. I'd get a ring that has a little room to grow in it--obviously not so much that it will fall off....

When my husband bought my engagement ring the store he bought it from offered him a service plan on it that would let us get free ring sizings as well as free solderings, polishes, fixes, etc. If possible (and economical), I would get the plan. It has already paid for itself with everything we had to do with both my engagement and wedding rings--the soldering alone was the same price as the plan and then I got it resized as well.

If you're really worried--and if you think she wouldn't mind--you could present her with a nice-looking cheap ring that would act as a placeholder for her actual ring. After you propose and she says yes you could then get the real ring with the correct size.

 

[Dave00]

Poo! I wonder if that's the norm.

Yes, it is. Typically the dominant hand (right handed, left handed) will be 1/4 to 1/2 size larger (using US measurements.) However, if you know the size of the other finger, you can buy the ring and then just have it resized. However, don't buy a one-size-fits-all ring and then try to resize it - certain rings look better on smaller, and some on larger, fingers. I found the perfect band for my then-fiancee (now wife) but if I'd tried to resize it to her petite finger, it would've had some stones jabbing into the sides of the next finger.

One way to find out the size is to try to employ the services of one of her female friends. My experience has been that many (most?) women, especially those that think they might get engaged soon, have had their ring finger sized, and probably shared that information with a close friend.

My advice to you is to decide what you want to pay, and then look for the stone first. Cut and clarity are much more important that carat weight. A half-carat flawless diamond looks stunningly better than a 2-carat ring with poor clarity. Try to look at the stone in the dark (block the light from the display). If it still shines, you've got a winner. Every now and then my wife has someone stop her and comment on how lovely her ring is... and this is constantly paying me dividends. Good luck.

Dave

 

[sreedy]

This is all good stuff, thanks to all of you...... and I thought buying the right mac was a difficult decision!

This morning on my way into work I remember that once when we first started dating she wore a ring on that finger that her mother gave her. Then stopped wearing it after people assumed we were engaged only a few months after starting to date.... I think that'll be in her jewelry box and I can size that one and take it from there.

Thanks again and I'll keep you all posted.