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small talk with opposite sex..

I

iLikeToDrum

macrumors member
Original poster
Dec 2, 2010
83
0
Any tips here?

There's a girl I dig at church.. I wanna talk to her, but am having trouble doing so.

I do not usually freeze up like this, I am a very social and out going person... Until her. It sucks, because she meets the standards for the type of girl I'd like to try to date. Not physically speaking, but also what others have told me.

She seems atleast physically attracted, often catch her looking. But I want to get to know her.

TLDR...

How do you start talking to a girl you fancy. Just some tips. I dig one, wana talk to her without freezing up.
 
Open ended questions, not yes or no questions. Get her to talk about herself via open ended questions.

What do you think about....
How did you feel when....
 
Stop over thinking it. Walk over to her after church and ask her what she thought about the sermon.
 
Let her do all the talking. Have a few open ended questions in your pocket and just bounce off of those. Once you get going you'll be fine. DO NOT use a cheezy opening line...
 
God will guide you my friend. :)

Relax, and just talk to her. When I met my girlfriend, I also found it very hard to make conversation as I was nervous. I spoke a bunch of random crap and she laughed. Then I relaxed a little, and went with the flow.
 
Lagmonster said:
Open ended questions, not yes or no questions. Get her to talk about herself via open ended questions.

What do you think about....
How did you feel when....
Click to expand...

So she feels like it's an interview/ audition? :confused:

OP, does your Church have a youth group (or similar)? Does she attend? If so, that'd be a great way to get to know her.
 
"I love the way your hair falls down against your perfectly straight back... You have beautiful eyes"
 
Wirelessly posted (iPhone 3GS: Mozilla/5.0 (iPhone; U; CPU iPhone OS 4_3_3 like Mac OS X; en-us) AppleWebKit/533.17.9 (KHTML, like Gecko) Version/5.0.2 Mobile/8J2 Safari/6533.18.5)

Just as everyone has been saying, get past your nerves and talk to her. Use the open ended questions and go with the flow of the conversation. Let God lead and direct you and all will be fine.
 
You guys are all individually spectularly awesome! :)

I actually did meet her in church group, college group to be exact. So we're old enough for something, I just need to see if I can figure out how to not sound like chunk from the Goonies. :p

It's just the oddest thing, I deal with women ALL the time, only when I feel like I want something from them, don't get carried away, do I choke up and go full retard. LOL.

Well, tomorrow night I have church and it's possible she'll be there... I just wanna figure out what to ask. Maybe the planning is a bad thing though? Faking chemistry.
 
iLikeToDrum said:
Well, tomorrow night I have church and it's possible she'll be there... I just wanna figure out what to ask. Maybe the planning is a bad thing though? Faking chemistry.
Click to expand...

Relax and just say hello to her. Especially at church she should feel less threatened and just talk about the sermon of the night or a story that was told.

My advice to you is to not read this thread anymore because you will start to over analyze and by tomorrow there will be so much crap posted you won't be relaxed at all.
 
Those suggesting talking about the sermon or similar offer good advice. You go to the same church, so that's one thing you have in common at least – a good starting point for a conversation you should be comfortable with. Go from there.
 
I was once friends with the the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. We got along well, and I was not nervous at all talking to her. She was Italian, short, blonde, tan, beautiful... She liked me, but apparently not quite enough. She moved in with a big black guy, then from what I heard took up with another black guy, and I think one more. She had a thing for big black guys. I'm not being racist because I couldn't care less but at the time it seemed odd. Also she said she liked older men. Well she had her fill of black guys and now she's with a short, goobery, pimply white guy. I have no idea what went wrong.

My point is, you never know whether it'll work out or not. But, at least if you talk to her and it doesn't you won't spend the rest of your life wondering what if... Actually, that wasn't related to my story above at all. :confused:

Pretty girls are people too. Just go up and talk. The nervousness will go away after a couple times.

...and once again, Abstract, mi amigo, you have made me laugh. :D
 
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