The Apple Product Cycle

[ahlee]

http://www.misterbg.org/AppleProductCycle/

The Mac rumor sites spring into action. Liberally quoting “reliable” sources inside Cupertino, irrelevant “experts,” and each other, they quickly transform baseless speculation into widely accepted fact.

The haters offer their assessment. The forums are ablaze with vitriolic rage. Haters pan the device for being less powerful than a Cray X1 while zealots counter that it is both smaller and lighter than a Buick Regal. The virtual slap-fight goes on and on, until obscure technical nuances like, “Will it play multiplexed Ogg Vorbis streams?” become matters of life and death.

Business Week publishes an article stating that unless Apple immediately releases a Windows version of the new product its market share will continue to shrink and Apple will be out of business within six months. Mac zealots howl with fury and crash Business Week’s email server with their angry rebuttals.

Nerd porn threads appear in the Mac forums. Some lunatic with too much time and money on his hands disassembles the new device down to the bare, soldered components and posts pictures.

The obligatory “I’m waiting for Rev. B” discussion appears in the Mac forums. People who’ve been burned by first-generation Apple products open up their old wounds and bleed their tales of woe. Unsympathetic technophiles fire back with, “if you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. *****.” Everyone has this stupid argument for the twenty-third time.

A minor, rarely occurring flaw in the device begins to be discussed in the Apple support forums. Whiny, artistic types post lengthy diatribes about how this terrible design flaw has made the device unusable and scarred them emotionally. Electronic petitions are created demanding that Apple replace the devices for free, plus pay for counseling to help traumatized users overcome their emotional distress.

I didn't write it, just thought it was funny.

 

[emw]

An oldie, but still a goodie. It is almost scary...

 

[ahlee]

An oldie, but still a goodie. It is almost scary...

Oh, is it a repost? My apologies. I did a search for it before I posted but came up empty - probably searched a wrong term.

 

[emw]

Oh, is it a repost? My apologies. I did a search for it before I posted but came up empty - probably searched a wrong term.

Don't sweat it - tracking down something like this can be practically impossible. Besides, I think it was posted a year ago or more - nothing wrong with a refresher.

 

[~Shard~]

Oh, is it a repost? My apologies. I did a search for it before I posted but came up empty - probably searched a wrong term.

Yeah, it's funny, but older than sin - quite a few years old now.

 

[emw]

Yeah, it's funny, but older than sin - quite a few years old now.

Actually, it was posted here twice in late summer of 2004. Many members weren't even here then, but for those looking for some history:

https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/81890/

 

[~Shard~]

Actually, it was posted here twice in late summer of 2004. Many members weren't even here then, but for those looking for some history:

https://forums.macrumors.com/threads/81890/

Cool, way to do some hunting emw.