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The Death Star's Trash Compactor.

sb58

sb58

macrumors 6502a
Original poster
May 14, 2006
568
0
Hades
Link: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2002/01/10deathstar.html

ON THE IMPLAUSIBILITY OF
THE DEATH STAR'S
TRASH COMPACTOR.

BY JOSHUA TYREE

- - - -

I maintain that the trash compactor onboard the Death Star in "Star Wars" is implausible, unworkable, and moreover, inefficient.

The Trash Compactor Debate turns on whether the Death Star ejects its trash into space. I, for one, believe it does. Though we never see the Death Star ejecting its trash, we do see another Empire ship, the so-called Star Destroyer, ejecting its trash into space. I therefore see no reason to suspect that Empire protocol dictating that trash be ejected into space would not apply equally to all Empire spacecraft, including the Death Star.

The Death Star clearly has a garbage-disposal problem. Given its size and massive personnel, the amount of waste it generates — discarded food, broken equipment, excrement, and the like — boggles the imagination. That said, I just cannot fathom how an organization as ruthless and efficiently-run as the Empire would have signed off on such a dangerous, unsanitary, and shoddy garbage-disposal system as the one depicted in the movie.

Here are the problems, as I can ascertain them, with the Death Star's garbage-disposal system:

1. Ignoring the question of how Princess Leia could possibly know where the trash compactor is, or that the vent she blasts open leads to a good hiding place for the rescue crew, why are there vents leading down there at all? Would not vents leading into any garbage-disposal system allow the fetid smell of rotting garbage, spores, molds, etc., to seep up into the rest of the Death Star? Would not it have been more prudent for the designers of the Death Star to opt for a closed system, like a septic tank?

2. Why do both walls of the trash compactor move towards each other, rather than employing a one-movable-wall system that would thus rely on the anchored stability, to say nothing of the strength, of the other, non-moving wall, to crush trash more effectively?

3. Why does the trash compactor compact trash so slowly, and with such difficulty, once the resistance of a thin metal rod is introduced? Surely metal Death Star pieces are one of the main items of trash in need of compacting. It thus stands to reason that the trash compactor should have been better designed to handle the problem of a skinny piece of metal. (And while I hate to be the sort of person who says I told you so, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that a one-movable-wall system would have improved performance.)

4. Why does the trash compactor only compact trash sideways? Once ejected into space, wouldn't the flattened, living-room-sized, and extremely solid panes of trash that result from such a primitive, unidirectional trash compactor pose serious hazards for Empire starships in the vicinity?

5. And what of the creature that lives in the trash compactor? Presumably, the creature survives because the moving walls do not extend all the way to the floor of the room, where the liquid is. After all, if the walls reached the floor, the creature would be killed each time trash is compacted. The design employed on the Death Star must allow the organic trash to filter down to the bottom, where the parasitic worm-creature devours it. But what happens when heavier pieces of non-organic trash fall down there? Would such trash not get wedged under the doors, causing them to malfunction? Do stormtroopers have to confront the creature each time they retrieve pieces of un-compacted trash?

6. Why not have separate systems for organic and inorganic waste, thus allowing full compaction of the inorganics and a closed sanitary system for the organics?

7. Why does the Empire care, anyway, about reducing its organic garbage output? Are we to believe that the architects of the Death Star, a group of individuals bent on controlling the entire known universe, are also concerned about environmental issues? Would organic garbage rot in space? So what? Furthermore, why has the Empire gone to the trouble of acquiring a frightening parasitic worm-creature and having it eat all organic trash, especially given the aforementioned flaws in the design of the compactor and overall maintenance hassles?

8. Personally, were it up to me, I would have designed special garbage ships instead of employing a crude, cumbersome, and inefficient (to say nothing of unsanitary) compactor-worm combo to deal with the trash.

9. If the Empire insists on ejecting trash into space, why do they bother compacting it? Space is infinite, is it not? In such an environment, it hardly matters what size the trash is. In fact, a persuasive argument can be made that it's actually better for the trash to take up more space, so that it appears on radar systems as something for Empire ships to avoid. Compacted trash creates smaller chunks of harder trash that would undoubtedly cause serious damage to Empire starships. And needless to say, damage to starships would, in turn, create yet more hassles and headaches for the Empire.

Please understand, gentle reader, I am all for creating hassles and headaches for the Empire. I just doubt that the Empire would have created so many for itself. Q.E.D.
Click to expand...

i think someone has too much free time of their hands...
 
d'oh! oh well, a mod can move it to the write place if they want...
 
It's just a movie prop. Calm down and breathe. Why don't you write about the improbability of pretty much everything else in Star Wars?
 
fanbrain said:
It's just a movie prop. Calm down and breathe. Why don't you write about the improbability of pretty much everything else in Star Wars?
Click to expand...

There's a great essay in one of Chuck Klsterman's books about saved by the bell. In it, he talks about how a friend of his was watching it an exclaimed how kids would never have that kind of relationship with their principal. Klosterman's reactino was, of all the implausible, impossible things in that show, that's what you cling to as being unrealistic.

I think the same applies to this. Almost nothing in star wars actually makes sense. And it doesn't matter one single bit. Why bring up this one thing.
 
This is why Star Trek was such a better serious... and why the SW sequels fell flat. No science, logic, or cohesion to SW.

EDIT: Always did think the X-Wings were a cool looking fighter, though.
 
strider42 said:
I think the same applies to this. Almost nothing in star wars actually makes sense. And it doesn't matter one single bit. Why bring up this one thing.
Click to expand...
Who's going to write about every little implausible detail of Star Wars? Are you saying that in order to make a satirical entry about a certain aspect of Star Wars, one must address the film series in its entirety?

I appreciate that someone put the effort into writing a comical essay about the implausibility of the Death Star Trash Compactor.
 
blablabla said:
YOU think thats a wast of time look at this this
Click to expand...

Man oh man. I'm just a little scared. The first page was mind numbing, I can't believe it goes on for 60 or 70 pages. Sure I like Star Wars, and I like Trek. Even Babylon 5 and Crusade. But they're all separate series, and each has their own set of rules. Trying to compare characters, explosions (??) and the superiority of "Eugenics" soldiers from each series....
 
Honestly I have heard this discussed on lots of Star Wars documentaries.

Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher, and I think even Harrison Ford have all commented on the trash compactor...

this guy just elaborated.

if we nit pick everything about Star Wars, its going to fall apart like burning burlap.
 
pdpfilms said:
I appreciate that someone put the effort into writing a comical essay about the implausibility of the Death Star Trash Compactor.
Click to expand...

Agreed. Star Wars is SCIENCE FICTION. ***Ducks*** Anyway, the rest of the original series would have been, well, pretty flat (pun intended) if the trash compactor had been built by a real engineer.

Come on, we don't sit around picking apart the James Bond gadgets. They're just cool gadgets, regardless of how implausable they actually are. And when someone writes a satirical piece that is clearly meant for humor, let's just let it be what it is... humor.
 
Haoshiro said:
This is why Star Trek was such a better serious... and why the SW sequels fell flat. No science, logic, or cohesion to SW.

EDIT: Always did think the X-Wings were a cool looking fighter, though.
Click to expand...

HAHAHA! Star Trek- science and logic?

I'm a big Star Trek and Star Wars fan, but I tell you, Star Trek has some of the worst pseudoscience I've ever seen. You hear a bunch of scientific terms but they almost never make any sense if you know what they're talking about.

Check out http://www.stardestroyer.net/ for comparisons by an engineer of the two.
Read the Hate Mail section. You'll die laughing.

Also, Star Trek has FAR worse brain bugs than Star Wars.

Seriously, read this. You'll fall over laughing.
http://stardestroyer.net/Empire/Essays/BrainBugs.html

:D
 
wow....too much time on their hands is an understatement...

more like serious mental issues, to sit around and dwell on a trash compactor on a 30+ year old movie scene.....

....nutty:confused:


**edit** actually I take that back, that is a pretty funny read....I like it now.
 
I'd actually make the arguement that Star Wars is more realistic than Star Trek. Whereas Star Trek makes up non-sensical pseudoscience explanations using big words that actually don't make any sense, Star Wars just assumes that it simply works.

Now, think about how everything works for a second. In Star Trek, you need ENGINEERS to run the ship. This is opposite of how things work in real life- engineers design the ship, technicians keep it running and maintain it. Someone doesn't need to know how a processor works to be able to maintain a computer; but apparently in Star Trek, you need someone with a PhD in microchip design to be able to actually operate a computer. Further, it seems every single person on board the ship (including the Doctor) knows everything about everyone else's job.

Star Wars is more based on actual military. Just look at the weapons. The handheld phaser is probably the worst weapon ever conceived- it doesn't shoot straight but is a bit angled downwards and has no sights. Star Wars has actual rifles and militaristic weapons. In fact, Star Trek ground combat is a joke.

Anyone here seen the episode "The Seige of Ar-559"? 150 Federation troops have to hold off a couple hundred Jem Hadar troops that will be attacking their base. They knoew that the Jem Hadar will be coming through a canyon and through a choke point that only one man can squeeze through at a time. They set up mines through the canyon and get behind cover.

Half the Jem Hadar are wiped out by mines (creating loud noises, so everyone knows they are there). Then, the Jem Hadar scream as they approach, making sure EVERYONE knows they are coming. Then they run through the choke point through a clear open area while being shot at by Federation troops who are behind cover.

A number of people have commented that a small group of modern day marines could have completely wiped out the Jem Hadar assault by pointing a machine gun at the choke point and just shooting a lot. Yet, somehow, the Jem Hadar manage to make it through the choke point, run across a clearing, jump over the Federation troops' cover rocks and engage them in hand-to-hand combat.

Further, the Federation seems to have a complete lack of any military weapons outside of handguns. No rifles, bazookas, grenades, mortars, tanks, or anything equivilant to these. And when they get enemies like the Borg that can adapt to the way their phased weapons work and cancel them out? They try to modify the weapons every time they shoot, instead of doing the smart thing; Picard demonstrated in First Contact that the most effective weapon against the Borg is a 19th century tommy gun.

The Klingons are a joke- half the time they drop their disruptors and run with swords and knives into battle, and somehow they manage to wipe out all the Federation troops, and the Feddies are scared of them.

Seriously, the writers of Star Trek know nothing about a real military.
 
Haoshiro said:
This is why Star Trek was such a better serious... and why the SW sequels fell flat. No science, logic, or cohesion to SW.

EDIT: Always did think the X-Wings were a cool looking fighter, though.
Click to expand...



No SW is cooler! Logic is stupid:)
 
jdechko said:
Agreed. Star Wars is SCIENCE FICTION. ...
Click to expand...

what what WHAT?!? :D

Very funny read btw. I always wanted to hand in something along those lines for my Film Theroy class. See what the uptight prof. thinks of it.
 
GFLPraxis said:
I'd actually make the arguement that Star Wars is more realistic than Star Trek. Whereas Star Trek makes up non-sensical pseudoscience explanations using big words that actually don't make any sense, Star Wars just assumes that it simply works.

Now, think about how everything works for a second. In Star Trek, you need ENGINEERS to run the ship. This is opposite of how things work in real life- engineers design the ship, technicians keep it running and maintain it. Someone doesn't need to know how a processor works to be able to maintain a computer; but apparently in Star Trek, you need someone with a PhD in microchip design to be able to actually operate a computer. Further, it seems every single person on board the ship (including the Doctor) knows everything about everyone else's job.

Star Wars is more based on actual military. Just look at the weapons. The handheld phaser is probably the worst weapon ever conceived- it doesn't shoot straight but is a bit angled downwards and has no sights. Star Wars has actual rifles and militaristic weapons. In fact, Star Trek ground combat is a joke.

Anyone here seen the episode "The Seige of Ar-559"? 150 Federation troops have to hold off a couple hundred Jem Hadar troops that will be attacking their base. They knoew that the Jem Hadar will be coming through a canyon and through a choke point that only one man can squeeze through at a time. They set up mines through the canyon and get behind cover.

Half the Jem Hadar are wiped out by mines (creating loud noises, so everyone knows they are there). Then, the Jem Hadar scream as they approach, making sure EVERYONE knows they are coming. Then they run through the choke point through a clear open area while being shot at by Federation troops who are behind cover.

A number of people have commented that a small group of modern day marines could have completely wiped out the Jem Hadar assault by pointing a machine gun at the choke point and just shooting a lot. Yet, somehow, the Jem Hadar manage to make it through the choke point, run across a clearing, jump over the Federation troops' cover rocks and engage them in hand-to-hand combat.

Further, the Federation seems to have a complete lack of any military weapons outside of handguns. No rifles, bazookas, grenades, mortars, tanks, or anything equivilant to these. And when they get enemies like the Borg that can adapt to the way their phased weapons work and cancel them out? They try to modify the weapons every time they shoot, instead of doing the smart thing; Picard demonstrated in First Contact that the most effective weapon against the Borg is a 19th century tommy gun.

The Klingons are a joke- half the time they drop their disruptors and run with swords and knives into battle, and somehow they manage to wipe out all the Federation troops, and the Feddies are scared of them.

Seriously, the writers of Star Trek know nothing about a real military.
Click to expand...

I think you forgot the biggest flaw in the ST combat world. The fact that they have people w/swords and magic powers* that can wreak havoc on hordes of heavily armed troops. Oh, wait...

Oh, and BTW, ST does have equivalents to rifles, grenades, heavy weapons, etc.,.

Of course it does make sense that SW has a more fleshed out military aspect sense the whole freakin' thing is centered around war.

*magic powers are very inconsistent and only work at very plot specific points w/in the story.


Lethal
 
Well, in all fairness, its friday, and if the person who wrote this is as painfully bored at work as I am right now I can totally see writing about this. In fact, I may start waxing poetic about... well I dont know yet, but... something.
 
Is everyone forgetting the biggest flaw of all, The lack of gravity, How are they able to walk in space, they should all be floating.
 
That's nothing. A friend of mine showed me a post on the official Star Trek forums going through every season on TNG and comparing Dr. Crushers HAIR STYLE!!! Then they played a game where they showed a picture of her hair and you had to guess which season and which episode. amazing.

Another time we were trying to figure out the name of a ship the Will Riker made up to fool an enemy. We go onto the official Star Trek forums and post the question... this part amazes me even to this day... less than a minute later (i kid you not) there were 2 posts. The first one corrected the name of the ship (we had it wrong!) and which episode is was. I just about **** myself in disbelief.
 
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