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The Holidays and Gift Giving?

mscriv

mscriv

macrumors 601
Original poster
Aug 14, 2008
4,933
624
Dallas, Texas
With Thanksgiving this week, meaning Black Friday is here, and Christmas just a month away the holiday shopping season has begun. So, how do you, your family, and your friends handle gift giving? Is it a free for all where everyone does whatever they want? Do you set a spending limit? Do you draw names and only give to certain family members? Being married and having young children now this process has gotten far more complicated than I'd like it to be. That being said, how do you and yours handle it so that it can be as simple and fun as possible?
 
My family stopped with gift giving about 5 years ago. We only do gifts for my brother's kids.
 
I'm hearing that a lot from folks rdowns. It's like once grandchildren come along they are the only one's that matter. It also seems that marriage status seems to matter as well. It's like if you are single then you still get gifts from everyone, but if you are married then you are no longer eligible. That's why I asked the question, there seem to be so many different ways to do it with everyone having their own "unwritten rules" about how it's supposed to work.
 
In my family, we also don't purchase Christmas gifts for each other. The only people for whom I buy gifs for are the children in my life.
 
rdowns said:
My family stopped with gift giving about 5 years ago. We only do gifts for my brother's kids.
Click to expand...

I wish I could convince my family to do this, but my mom is Christmas crazy.

mscriv said:
I'm hearing that a lot from folks rdowns. It's like once grandchildren come along they are the only one's that matter. It also seems that marriage status seems to matter as well. It's like if you are single then you still get gifts from everyone, but if you are married then you are no longer eligible. That's why I asked the question, there seem to be so many different ways to do it with everyone having their own "unwritten rules" about how it's supposed to work.
Click to expand...

Yep, this is how things work around my family. I'm still unmarried, and people in my family still give me gifts like some kind of sympathy gift or something. The problem is that I don't really need much, as I am in a position now that I can buy most stuff I need as far as clothes and such. And the stuff I really want, such as a new MBP, nobody in my family will spend that much.
 
In my family it's the immediate family thing.

I'll buy for my kids, my wife, my brother, and the parents.
 
My family only buys for immediate family living in the same household which are all opened Christmas morning at their own house. Then we get together for dinner later on. We only buy for the kids in the family. Basically, over 18 means you're out.

Although last year we broke tradition and had a grab bag type thing. Not entirely sure if we are doing it this year though.
 
During the last few years, we have made a deal not to buy any presents for family members. It has never worked, though. Usually it's the grandparents who buy the most gifts and receive the least, but they seem to be happy with it. Personally I'm a lazy gift giver and will only buy something small for parents and my sister.
 
mscriv said:
With Thanksgiving this week, meaning Black Friday is here, and Christmas just a month away the holiday shopping season has begun. So, how do you, your family, and your friends handle gift giving? Is it a free for all where everyone does whatever they want? Do you set a spending limit? Do you draw names and only give to certain family members? Being married and having young children now this process has gotten far more complicated than I'd like it to be. That being said, how do you and yours handle it so that it can be as simple and fun as possible?
Click to expand...

We give gifts in my family, and try and keep the price limit reasonable - typically between $25-$50 max. Honestly, the holidays aren't just for and about children, it's about family and the people that you love. One year when everyone was tight we did a Secret Santa for the adults, which was still fun.

I think everyone deserves a little something special at this time of year - if anything, my older sister who works 2 jobs in addition to doing house stuff, deserves a present more than my xbox-playing nephews.

I also just really enjoy gift giving, so I don't see it as some chore or burden or corporate agenda. Even when I was super broke in grad school, my younger sister and I managed to find something nice for everyone within our budget. It just takes thought and effort.
 
My family always spends the most money on the children. From my parents, each of us get $150 (there are 3 of us) and then usually a biggish gift for all of us to share.

My grandparents buy equal gifts for the grandchildren. Usually the parents get a smaller gift.

If you're not in those fields, but in the family, you usually get something ranging from a candy bar to a small decoration.
 
steve2112 said:
I wish I could convince my family to do this, but my mom is Christmas crazy.
Click to expand...

It wasn't easy but in the end, it made sense. We are all comfortable and have pretty much everything we want or need. We did the same for birthdays too although mom still insists we go out for dinner for every birthday.
 
My family varies year by year. This year, we aren't giving gifts and just having a huge brunch together and taking care of our own families.

My husband and I planned a trip to Cuba so we're not exchanging gifts together. Hopefully we just get to sleep in!

On my husbands side of the family, with his sisters, we are giving $25 per person gifts. And his parents there is no limit.
And with his extended family, we bring a $20 gift each and draw cards from a deck.
 
Funny, because I don't even want gifts, and yet I'm sure I'll get some from family, since I'm visiting them this Xmas!

I buy gifts for coworkers (wine), and my friends and I exchange gifts (whisky, maybe wine), but that's it.

Having said that, I want to buy my parents an LED TV this year. ;)
 
For awhile on my wife's side of the family, we drew names. We then bought gifts for that family, or, their choice, individual gifts for the kids only. After the "fruitful multiplication" process became decidedly one-sided, that didn't work well. Then, as the youngest generation aged, went to college, left home, it all broke down.

On my side, my sister and I agreed to stop exchanging gifts a few years ago after our Dad died, 18 months after Mom left us. The generational shift has taken place, where we have become the "archs" of our own families. She has a passel of grandkids, I have none, yet.
 
I always give gifts.... family, girlfriend, her family, friends, goddaughter, etc.

I set aside a stash of money to spend with a rough limit.

Far as the giving spirit, I'm gonna help feed the homeless this year
 
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