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What would you do if your son crashed your car?

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seven7seven

macrumors regular
Original poster
May 5, 2009
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Hypothetically speaking, your 16 y/o son rear ended someone (while not driving crazy - just bad bad traffic and they were trying to get into the turn lane but got cut off and then couldn't stop in time for the car that was at a complete stop in front of them (green light but backed up through the light)

Damage is going to be ~$1000 and that is the deductible on the insurance so that $1000 is coming out of your pocket.


Would you...

Ground them
Make them pay in full
Make them pay partially
Make them work it off for you doing tons of chores/housework
 
So then.... it's not hypothetical?

Why would you ground him if it wasn't his fault?


I'd say maybe a combo of #3 and #4 would be fair.
 
hum... i hope i dont do this in a few weeks.:eek:

idk what my dad would do. if it wasn't my fault, he might help me, but if i were driving wreklessly, i would have to pay 100%.
he would pay to fix it, but i would have to pay him back since it takes a while for me to earn that.
 
I'm thinking that we might be talking to the son.

My parent's had a couple of rules w/ me.
-I pay for tickets
-I pay for accidents

Neither of which occurred. I am lucky enough given my insurance costs, but then again, my parents' each have assembled a nice history of minor accidents and tickets.
 
Surely said:
So then.... it's not hypothetical?

Why would you ground him if it wasn't his fault?


I'd say maybe a combo of #3 and #4 would be fair.
Click to expand...

His fault because he was not aware of his surroundings enough to prevent the collision.
 
Rear end accidents are normally caused by the person following too close. For example, I am following someone closely, they stop and I stop, I rear end them and the person behind me rear ends me. Chances are, the one behind me was also following too close. While not an exact science, it is generally the way it happened.

Experience does not mean that a rear end accident won't happen. Actually, I presume most rear end accidents are not caused by teenage drivers.

Your son is at fault regardless. Not because he was driving crazy (I can't say that is the case) but it sounds like he was not leaving enough room between him and another car. Or you say someone was backing up at a green light? I am lost there.

At any rate, while not direct negligence I believe he should be held responsible for 50% of the deductible. Why? Because fault or not this is called adulthood and he should learn sooner rather than later. I think grounding him is stupid. What will that teach him?
 
I think if its not his fault, punishing him makes little sense. I use punishment to alter bad behavior.

I'd expect him to either work off some of the expense and/or pony up some cash to offset the repair expense. I think that will help teach him an important lesson in that there's always consequences to ones actions even when its not his fault.
 
Kid's fault, he better pay up.

Ground 'em, housework, help pay for it. Take responsibility for your own faults and actions.
 
jessica. said:
Rear end accidents are normally caused by the person following too close. For example, I am following someone closely, they stop and I stop, I rear end them and the person behind me rear ends me. Chances are, the one behind me was also following too close. While not an exact science, it is generally the way it happened.

Experience does not mean that a rear end accident won't happen. Actually, I presume most rear end accidents are not caused by teenage drivers.

Your son is at fault regardless. Not because he was driving crazy (I can't say that is the case) but it sounds like he was not leaving enough room between him and another car. Or you say someone was backing up at a green light? I am lost there.

At any rate, while not direct negligence I believe he should be held responsible for 50% of the deductible. Why? Because fault or not this is called adulthood and he should learn sooner rather than later. I think grounding him is stupid. What will that teach him?
Click to expand...

Traffic was backed through the intersection. I was trying to get over to the turn lane but someone got in it behind me and blocked it so I couldn't get over, then I realized that traffic had COMPLETELY stopped, but not in time for me to stop completely.

Scratches and a little displacement of the bumper.
$200 in parts $100 in paint and $600 in labor - what a ****ing rip off.

What is worse is that a little touchup paint and you wouldn't notice it - but it has to be done perfectly for my dad :(

And at this point he is planning on me paying 100% of it straightforward.
I have no job - just good at saving and sell stuff on eBay - so I have enough money to cover it - but it will make quite a dent in what I've spent years saving. :(
 
seven7seven said:
Traffic was backed through the intersection. I was trying to get over to the turn lane but someone got in it behind me and blocked it so I couldn't get over, then I realized that traffic had COMPLETELY stopped, but not in time for me to stop completely.

Scratches and a little displacement of the bumper.
$200 in parts $100 in paint and $600 in labor - what a ****ing rip off.

What is worse is that a little touchup paint and you wouldn't notice it - but it has to be done perfectly for my dad :(

And at this point he is planning on me paying 100% of it straightforward.
I have no job - just good at saving and sell stuff on eBay - so I have enough money to cover it - but it will make quite a dent in what I've spent years saving. :(
Click to expand...

LOL "hypothetically speaking" about the 16 year old son, right?

Sorry, but deal with it. You messed up dad's car, you better be ready to pay for it. Sounds like you were at fault too, not to mention, even in the eyes of cops, you're pretty young and driving, they'd most likely side with the person who got hit.
 
My parent's covered a lot of my expenses, so we never had any arguments, that's also because they didn't want to argue with a nationally competitive debater, but that's another story. If I were to argue on their behalf the most convincing argument would be "if I'm paying for your insurance, you have to pay for when you screw up..." Accidents happen, if you don't want to take that risks use public transportation. It's a little ridiculous for someone in a situation to do anything besides thank my parents.
 
pelicanflip said:
LOL "hypothetically speaking" about the 16 year old son, right?

Sorry, but deal with it. You messed up dad's car, you better be ready to pay for it. Sounds like you were at fault too, not to mention, even in the eyes of cops, you're pretty young and driving, they'd most likely side with the person who got hit.
Click to expand...

hypothetically speaking as in it being your situation ;)
 
I'd ground them by taking them off the insurance and not letting them drive until their "coverage" costs have added up to a thousand dollars or until they paid it off themselves.
 
seven7seven said:
Scratches and a little displacement of the bumper.
$200 in parts $100 in paint and $600 in labor - what a ****ing rip off.

What is worse is that a little touchup paint and you wouldn't notice it - but it has to be done perfectly for my dad :(
Click to expand...

Hate to say it, but it is a good life lesson for you. Just out of curiosity, lets say that a friend of yours did the exact same thing to a car you owned, how much would you expect your friend to pay?
 
Capable to drive a car = capable of paying for any damage.

Guess what, if the kid isn't responsible enough to pay for the damage, they shouldn't be driving.

I crashed my older sister's car back in HS and guess who had to find a summer job to pay it off?
 
Eugh, my Dad let me NOWHERE NEAR his car when I was 17. He gave me £200 to look for a car with and I found an old 1.2litre Vauxhall Nova. My mum bought my insurance - £1300 for the year! Then I made do with it. If I crashed the car, I had saved a bit more to basically buy another crappy car, but I was fortunate not to. A year later I bought a 205 GTi and had the same £1300 insurance and the monthly insurance payments killed me, oops. Fun car though.

In your situation, I would just let him hand out whatever punishment he wants to give you. Then save like mad for your own car, even if it's an eBay special. At least then you won't feel like crap for breaking your dad's car again.
 
I did crash the car of my car eight years ago (I was 19 or 20), my first year driving. I missed the curve (the wheels didn't respond to my steering) and went right onto a field just between a tree and a road sign.

He wasn't angry at all, he was just confused, if I wasn't just joking, as I laughed telling him, out of shock perhaps.

I did pay the cost of getting a new car, the first payment of around 6500$ from my savings, but other than that, it was never a bad spell between us.

Strangely, as he was quite resentful at times.

So be gentle, fair and honest. It was a mistake by your son, a costly one, and maybe even a dangerous one, but he's alive, and that is all that matters in the end. He will have learnt his lesson.

I know I did.
 
Do the classic "role reversal" routine.

Have him sit in your seat and then say "Son, what would you do if you were me?"
 
well of course it all depends... hypothetically of course... on whether you were allowed to drive the car, were supposed to be driving the car at the time, what your driving reputation so far has been, and your general reputation. The more bad strikes against you the more it hurts you financially and socially.

Assuming you are a perfect angel otherwise... you will still pay something... maybe $200-250. Enough to make you think twice but not take all your money. Add in some extra housework or a few weeks of not going anywhere.

If your reputation is anything but angelic, up the $$, cancel the social life etc and have time to think about it.

A few weeks with very limited access to the car and lots of access to a bike or bus is also a good way to remind you about how nice it is to have the car and to be more careful.
 
Im an 18 year old driver and drove my parents cars around for quite some time up until now, and I would say you should make your son pay for only a part of the damage, possibly 50%. I dont think you should ground him, as at 16 grounding kind of loses its purpose as it doesnt teach responsibility.
 
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