not too sure if it will tell you who is , but enable wifi password and then in itunes there is a password you can set for them to connect to your itune Lib - also if you buy from iTunes music store they will need your password tp play the copyright protected songs.
Shoulda mentioned I want to monitor my 'doze version. I don't really want to use my ibook as a music server since it doesn't sit in one spot all the time. And it's a wired connection.