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Will you stuff more than a turkey this holiday?

xsedrinam

xsedrinam

macrumors 601
Original poster
Oct 21, 2004
4,345
1
Other good threads like that of iGary have touched on similar issues, but what kind of attitude and mindset will you have when gathering with family and your intimate circle of significant others over the holidays as it relates to areas of on-going or potential Conflict?

Prevention? - flight, avoidance, disarmament
Confrontation? - fight, confrontation, boundary declarations
Stuff it - silence, resentment and suppressed anger, dread

Not wanting to use names, but there are at least two conflicts which our family gatherings will face this holiday. An on-going divorce between a brother and sister in law, (last year we were all fine), another brother in law who has been cheating on his live in and she does not know about it, but they both will be there; financial pressures and set backs with families and unresolved blame and guilt issues among family members, all meeting together with differing religious and political views (though I'd hope to keep this out of the Political Forum) but which will certainly contribute to some volatile moments of conflict.

Do you have any particular plan or mindset to deal with family conflicts over the holidays?
 
bousozoku said:
The title sounded like this had something to do with sex. :eek:
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Yup. That got me clicking here in a hurry...:D

My family is small and thankfully pretty closely knit.

Except for the cousins wife, but thankfully she won't be coming. :)
 
I am a little afraid and a little excited about Christmas this year.

I am going to my sister's house for Christmas Eve, and Christmas day. My other sister Kathy will be there (she comes every year), but this will be my first year "invading" their Christmas.

I'm gonna feel like such the outsider. :eek:
 
well my family is not close knit and i have not seen my father's side of the family in 5+ years, and haven't seen my father either (i don't know if they are alive, nor do i care)

so it is just me, brother, mother, step-father, and grandparents. and no fights end up coming up.
 
xsedrinam said:
... but what kind of attitude and mindset will you have when gathering with family and your intimate circle of significant others over the holidays as it relates to areas of on-going or potential Conflict?

Prevention? - flight, avoidance, disarmament
Confrontation? - fight, confrontation, boundary declarations
Stuff it - silence, resentment and suppressed anger, dread
<snip>
Do you have any particular plan or mindset to deal with family conflicts over the holidays?
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Interesting. I like the way you've laid things out...

As for me and my family, I think the plan would be a bit of Prevention and a bit of Stuff it. Prevention in the form of 'flight' because if things get out-of-hand-awkward, then I'll scatter off to my boyfriend's place. 'Stuff it' because with my family, it's often easier to shut your trap and ride out the drama wave. Certain members are much too stubborn (myself included) to ever have a real debate and so rather than try to engage, I 'Stuff it.' :p
 
I have never understood fights at christmas. Maybe its just my family are very close but I always thought fights were just characters on TV did over the holidays.

why would people argue over christmas anyways :confused: its a brilliant time for family and all that
 
raggedjimmi said:
why would people argue over christmas anyways :confused: its a brilliant time for family and all that
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And that's just that... some families do not get along well.
 
Originally Posted by raggedjimmi
why would people argue over christmas anyways its a brilliant time for family and all that
Click to expand...
devilot said:
And that's just that... some families do not get along well.
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The idea was that. There will be many a family gathering where the atmosphere will be just rosey and smiley, where there will be others not quite as ideal. Either one will require some effort. The question has to do with what you plan to bring to such a gathering, besides an exchange of gifts?
 
?! I don't know what you're talking about! I certainly haven't stuffed any dead hookers in my trunk if that's what you're thinking.


Can't say there are any impending discussions I'm dreading this holiday. I might have to dodge the in-laws a bit and I'm sure there will be drama at some time or another. Other than that, I'll just kick back an relax. :cool:
 
Abstract said:
Wow, just.......wow. Wanna change the title of this thread, pwetty pwease! I feel a dirty "Yo Mamma" joke coming on......
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Guess I should have. How about "Who's planning on having a gland time over the holidays?"....



:p
 
mad jew said:
Wow! I never realised how well my family gets along. I'll be spending my Christmas at the beach, very grateful that everyone gets along. :)
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Same here, I am glad that Christmas for my family is really a time of "peace on earth". <-Sorry, for the corny application of that phrase. :)
 
bousozoku said:
The title sounded like this had something to do with sex. :eek:
Click to expand...

The title is wonderfully evocative toward meaninglessness. I thought sex, then thought "Stocking Stuffer," then found "coping with repressive families." Wonderful thread title for those of us who have lost all faith in narrative. :cool:

But to answer your question. I come from an Irish Catholic family. Which means we repress everything important. Then explode for no good reason (people chewing with their mouths open or other such equally petty annoyances).

Then we repress the explosion that served to not only dissemble our actual repression, but to repress it.

Holidays. Good times. :rolleyes:
 
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