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Women Problems :(

P

Pau.c

macrumors regular
Original poster
Sep 20, 2009
134
0
me and my girlfriend split about a month ago and now we are back together! but now she says she is unhappy with everything in her life and she is pissed off with everything!

she wont even see me, and when we text we just argue because she wont let me see her! even if we do text she just answers all my texts with one word.

what do i need to do to make her happy again?
 
I know how you feel dude :(

If I where you, I would just go to her.
Just go to her and let her say everything she has to say.
Let her speak, and when she's done talking, say your thoughts.

I did this when my and my girl where in an awkward fight and at first you think this is going to be the end of the relationship, but if you just stay honest and If you just keep listening you'll find out It only makes it better.

I can't say it saves your relationship, but I'm really sure you then know how she thinks of you and this thing you have.

Hope It helps you, Good luck!
 
Doesn't sound like you're really "back together" right now...

Give her space and time.
 
Typically when relationships end they end with thoughts that there is something better around the corner. The fact is, there very well could be something better around the corner but that something better could have a whole host of problems. It sounds to me as though you two split for a reason and then when the going got tough you found yourselves back together.

My guess, she either regrets her decision and is unsure how to let you down easy or she is really going through some **** and you're sitting around bitching at her for not being able to see her. If you really do love or even like her a whole lot then you'll knock off the needy boyfriend crap and give her space. The best you can do is remind her on occasion that you are there for her. While she may not forget it, it's nice to remind people from time to time. I don't mean every other day, but every so often. If the two of you are meant to remain together then you will.

Since you didn't state your ages I'm also guessing these are typical growing pains. She clearly needs space and you're not giving it to her. You could dump her today, which is my solution, but you could be doing more damage. What do you have to ask is what is she taking and giving in the relationship? Problems or not if you know nothing about what is going on then you are well within your right to leave her. If she can give you an idea of what is going on you can decide whether you wish to wait it out for her.

These are decisions you have to make but you have to man up and be mature about this situation. You have to tell her (gently) that you'd like to know what is up and remind her that if details are withheld then that is ok. Tell her you want to better understand if this is temporary, having to do with you, or even something that you could help with. Once you know you can decide what your next steps are but if she is unhappy and refuses to see you then the answer to your question about how to make her happy is a moot point. If you cannot see her and she won't talk to you then the way to please her is give her space and time. However, as with any relationship; romantic or not, she at least should give you some idea as to what is happening with her. As a decent human being she should at least do that.

Good luck to you but in the end I think you may be young and I think it may be time to move on. If you want, stick it out and resent the **** out of her. That is always fun.
 
thats the right thing to do guys, i have just broken it off :'(

time to move on, plenty more women out there!

im so upset!
 
Pau.c said:
me and my girlfriend split about a month ago and now we are back together! but now she says she is unhappy with everything in her life and she is pissed off with everything!

she wont even see me, and when we text we just argue because she wont let me see her! even if we do text she just answers all my texts with one word.

what do i need to do to make her happy again?
Click to expand...

I sense a bit of a contradiction here....

Glad to hear you broke it off again. You'll only make yourself miserable if you try to make her happy. Sometimes it just isn't there. :(
 
She doesn't sound like she can handle a relationship right now if "she is unhappy with everything in her life". There is nothing you can do to make her happy.
 
jessica. said:
Typically when relationships end they end with thoughts that there is something better around the corner. The fact is, there very well could be something better around the corner but that something better could have a whole host of problems. It sounds to me as though you two split for a reason and then when the going got tough you found yourselves back together.

My guess, she either regrets her decision and is unsure how to let you down easy or she is really going through some **** and you're sitting around bitching at her for not being able to see her. If you really do love or even like her a whole lot then you'll knock off the needy boyfriend crap and give her space. The best you can do is remind her on occasion that you are there for her. While she may not forget it, it's nice to remind people from time to time. I don't mean every other day, but every so often. If the two of you are meant to remain together then you will.

Since you didn't state your ages I'm also guessing these are typical growing pains. She clearly needs space and you're not giving it to her. You could dump her today, which is my solution, but you could be doing more damage. What do you have to ask is what is she taking and giving in the relationship? Problems or not if you know nothing about what is going on then you are well within your right to leave her. If she can give you an idea of what is going on you can decide whether you wish to wait it out for her.

These are decisions you have to make but you have to man up and be mature about this situation. You have to tell her (gently) that you'd like to know what is up and remind her that if details are withheld then that is ok. Tell her you want to better understand if this is temporary, having to do with you, or even something that you could help with. Once you know you can decide what your next steps are but if she is unhappy and refuses to see you then the answer to your question about how to make her happy is a moot point. If you cannot see her and she won't talk to you then the way to please her is give her space and time. However, as with any relationship; romantic or not, she at least should give you some idea as to what is happening with her. As a decent human being she should at least do that.

Good luck to you but in the end I think you may be young and I think it may be time to move on. If you want, stick it out and resent the **** out of her. That is always fun.
Click to expand...

For those of you new to the relationship advice section of MR, I'd like to introduce jessica. She's a freakin' genius. Listen to her.

Carry on...
 
There is a really simple formula to deal with this if you love someone. How does the other person treat you? I am not saying how are they feeling or what problems do they have but how do they treat YOU when they have the chance to be nice or cruel? Are they constantly abusing you or being mean, cheating, hitting you? If so drop em like a hot rock. If they are upset, depressed whatever that's different...but do they tell you they appreciate your help? Even if it's only on the one day a month they are not sick and miserable and struggling do they say "thank you" rather than attack you and act like a jerk?

Most people have this ridiculously selfish idea of what a relationship is. If you are with someone for what YOU get out of it and would not stand by them if starting right now that person was in a wheelchair and say could never have sex again...then you don't love them and are selfish. This nonsense about "needs" as an excuse for poor behavior is tired and false.

Someone's life being hard is not a reason to abandon them...but if they abuse you that is a very good reason to leave. When you are older you will realize 99% of what you thought mattered about relationships when young was nonsense. The only people's advice really worth taking anyway are old couples that have stuck together for ages...they are the only ones who really have any clue about relationships and that's because they have the most experience. Listening to people your own age or those who have been married 6 times is a non starter.
 
harperjones99 said:
Most people have this ridiculously selfish idea of what a relationship is. If you are with someone for what YOU get out of it and would not stand by them if starting right now that person was in a wheelchair and say could never have sex again...then you don't love them and are selfish. This nonsense about "needs" as an excuse for poor behavior is tired and false.
Click to expand...

Everyone has needs in a relationship, especially physical ones. If you think there's something selfish about that than you are the one with a "ridiculous... idea of what a relationship is."
 
Sorry to hear about your situation and the pain you are going through. Take this time to focus on yourself. Work at becoming the best possible version of you that you can be. Don't overanalyze it, just move forward with emphasis on how you can grow.

Speaking of that, let me briefly address this:

Pau.c said:
What do i need to do to make her happy again?
Click to expand...

In the future, please don't make the foundation of your relationships the aim to make someone else happy. First and foremost, we can not control anyone but ourselves. By this I mean that each of us is primarily responsible for our own hapiness. Second, lasting relationships built on love are not rooted in "making your partner happy." Don't get me wrong, you hope that what you do makes your significant other happy, but solid and strong relationships are built on trust, communication, honesty, and service. If you truly love a person you will put their needs ahead of your own and strive to meet those needs in the best way you can. The key here is having the maturity and wisdom to understand that "what makes us happy" is not always what is best for us. This is why relationships are so hard, no one likes accountability and at the core we are all selfish. Happiness comes and goes, you don't want your relationship to be dependent on it.

Hang in there. :)
 
bearbear said:
Everyone has needs in a relationship, especially physical ones. If you think there's something selfish about that than you are the one with a "ridiculous... idea of what a relationship is."
Click to expand...

No you do not have "physical needs" in the sense most people use that term...nobody HAS to get laid. This is one of the things I am talking about. Have you ever met a couple where one was paralyzed or say the husband was missing parts from war wounds? They can have a wonderful personal relationship. They get what really matters and it isn't the shallow stuff a lot of people THINK they NEED to have. This is why so many relationships fail...because people are so selfish.
 
iphone.aggie said:
We need a Dear jessica. section in the forums. :)
Click to expand...

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