Those Brave Men and their Daring Dirigibles
President Bush said in a radio announcement to-day, These United States have fallen behind the other great empires of the world in war-dirigible technology. I would be negligent in my duties as president of our great nation to let this situation continue un-abated.
President Bush went on to describe his plans for a new department of the military, called the lighter-than-air force. When questioned later, Vice-President Cheney said the cost of the new program, though steep, was intended to protect our peaceful agrarian nation from aggressors, such as Bolshevik Russia and the emerging Chinee threat. We cannot allow dangerous regimes such as the perfidious Bolsheviks and the guileful Chinee to advance beyond us in war-dirigible technology. With our new lighter-than-air force, we shall tower over our enemies as the Greek gods of the Pantheon towered over their worshippers. All questions relating to the mis-adventures of Icarus were blithely dismissed as un-patriotic and dangerous. Those news-paper men and their pessimism do not serve this nation well to question every decision made by this honorable administration, Mr. Cheney was heard to say later.