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I took it to the Apple store in KoP and spoke to a nice person who assured me that unless the entire insides are trashed, they would replace the CD drive, screen, left, and right fan. As long as everything goes according to plan, maybe I'll be happy again! *crosses fingers*

Good to hear. Usually what I do if I ding or dent one of my MacBook Pros, is take it to a Genius at a store and have them make a note for that serial number in "the system" which says the computer with that serial number is fully functional and that the physical external damage isn't an issue. This has saved me once or twice in the past. I have several very good friends who are Geniuses and they recommend this as well.
 
Totally anecdotally speaking and not making any generalizations about women, just about every time I've been in an Apple store, some college girl will be in there with a MB beat to all hell getting something replaced. I've seen plenty that looked like they've been dropped, kicked, and put through an unlicensed boxing match. While probably half of them ended up paying dearly for repairs, the other half got off with stern warnings and free repairs for whatever they were in for.

Be persistent, but be nice and calmly state your case. In person is much better than over the phone for this kind of thing, I think.

This is correct. A PR firm I consulted with specifically sent their college-aged females to deal w/ applecare when the part time IT person noticed the same pattern. The interns saved them real money.
 
This is correct. A PR firm I consulted with specifically sent their college-aged females to deal w/ applecare when the part time IT person noticed the same pattern. The interns saved them real money.

Seriously?

Oh, haven't you heard? Murder was just legalized in the US :)

Only if the victim is a good rapper, according to Chris Rock. We still have Vanilla Ice.
 
Great news! I got my computer back from Apple, they store replaced the fan, the screen, and the CD drive, which is what I really wanted! The guy I spoke with looked a lot like this guy Avery I know, and he took a good 40 minutes with me. Friday I called and was told that it should be done that afternoon. Stopped by, got it, it's all better :)

Things I learned:

  • Applecare Customer Service doesn't work
  • Apple stores can do repairs that Apple inc can not do
  • Don't trust Applecare for any business machines that need to be running with a minimal downtime
 
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