16 year-old drop out advice???

Discussion in 'Community Discussion' started by supatekmedia88, Nov 2, 2005.

  1. supatekmedia88 macrumors newbie

    Jan 6, 2004
    My girlfriend's brother is 16, and dropped out of high school last month.
    His mother is a nurse (single parent) and he just sits around all day,
    smokes weed with his friends. He steals and lies all the time, and
    doesn't have a job. I have tried talking him out of dropping out, but
    since then he has stolen some of my stuff...and he actually stole all the Halloween candy 20 minutes before the trick-or-treaters came!!

    His dad lives in the same town, but doesn't seem to care about
    the situation. I know what my dad would do in this situation, but I have
    trying to be quiet, since I am not his parent.....

    Anybody have any ideas?
  2. janey macrumors 603


    Dec 20, 2002
    sunny los angeles
    Holy crap, I almost thought you were talking about someone like me. I'm 16, dropped out of high school a few months ago.

    On the other hand, I'm not sitting at home smoking pot, I'm working my ass off to get As in all my classes at a CC so I can transfer to Berkeley and get a BA and an MS in computer science, then go to med school...:eek:
  3. Sun Baked macrumors G5

    Sun Baked

    May 19, 2002
    Sounds like he's taken the first steps toward being the wife in prison...

    Time for him to get off his ass, get his body and life in shape, or be ready to host a party in his pants.
  4. TheMonarch macrumors 65816


    May 6, 2005
    Bay Area
    Catch him stealing or be able to prove that he did. He gets sent to juve. Tough love. If you're in the US. I think its illegal for him to drop out until he's 18 (I may be wrong though). In which case, mom/dad would be in trouble...
  5. miloblithe macrumors 68020


    Nov 14, 2003
    Washington, DC
    I don't really know anything about this, but it seems like the coordinated approach is the best. Get mom, sis, you, and anyone else available to sit down and talk things through. Discuss the options. Jobs. GED. Being kicked out. Going back to highschool. Transferring.

    Try to let him know that you want to reason with him, not just team up on him and tell him what to do.
  6. XNine macrumors 68040


    Apr 7, 2005
    Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?
    HAve his mother send his ass to boot camp. When he returns, if he doesn't get his GED within 90 days, take away anything he enjoys, gameing, tv's, stereos, skateboards, everything. Give him a bed, clothes, and books to read. When he hits 18, no GED? Kick him out.

    I dropped out of highschool to immediately get my GED when I was 17 because I hated highschool. I'm 23 and making nearly 40 a year because I've worked my ass off. It's not that hard to do. But if he's unwilling to better himself and put forward an effort to be something worth while, his mother should hand down to him wrath.
  7. janey macrumors 603


    Dec 20, 2002
    sunny los angeles
    If I were in that position, I would move out I suppose.

    And when I was taking the CHSPE (california state equivalent of the GED), like 2/3 of the people who were taking the test with me in the same room were voicing concerns that they could not pass it for the 2nd/3rd/4th/x number of times they've taken the test (and these were the same people obsessing over their AP Bio/Chem/US History/English/Physics/Calc finals)...so I dunno about the getting the GED within 90 days thing.
  8. CanadaRAM macrumors G5


    Oct 11, 2004
    On the Left Coast - Victoria BC Canada
    You have no authority or power in the situation here -- basically you've tried to talk to him, that's about as much as you can do. If you want, you can offer your support for something positive for him - tutoring, exercise buddy, that sort of thing - but you can't make him take up the offer.

    Getting between him, your GF and their mother is a losing proposition for you. There is gonna be pain and tears in that family. I would suggest backing off the brother entirely and concentrate on supporting and loving your GF.
  9. hhlee macrumors 6502

    May 19, 2005
    YES. listen to him. you have no authority here, be compassionate to the complaints but really, stay out of it as much as possible. you might even hurt your own relationship if you get mucked up in this situation.
  10. 2nyRiggz macrumors 603


    Aug 20, 2005
    Thank you Jah...I'm so Blessed
    he needs to get back in high school. High school is most important even more important than college. he need that foundation to make it through this harsh world.....tell him to get it together

    "it puts the lotion in the basket"
  11. freeny macrumors 68020


    Sep 27, 2005
    Location: Location:
    Hes a punk and needs to be addressed as one. find someone who he truly respects and have them either talk to him or smack him around. by the time he figures out what a mistake he has made, in like 10 years, its too late and hes doomed. it will hurt you now but it will hurt him MUCH MUCH more later! he will also thank you for it.
  12. LethalWolfe macrumors G3


    Jan 11, 2002
    Los Angeles
    Petty theft apparently.

  13. Lacero macrumors 604


    Jan 20, 2005
    Not much you can do. Some people want to slack off and be loafers. They actually choose to do it. I have no pity for those types of people. I feel sorry for your gf though.
  14. supatekmedia88 thread starter macrumors newbie

    Jan 6, 2004
    He does respect me, I make snowboard films, and he respects that
    and thinks I am cool....

    I have tried to tell him about the problems he will face, but he doesn't believe
    me, and I was the same way when I was 16 too, so I have tried to tell him my experiences many times

    I would really like to hear from people who have gone through this, because
    that will be the only way he will understand......because what he is doing now
    looks like he will end up in jail VERY SOON.

    I am going to show him what you guys say, so let me know if you have any stories about WHY we all think this is a bad idea.

    thanks for the good responses already!
  15. Blue Velvet Moderator emeritus

    Jul 4, 2004

    Nice one.
  16. jestershinra macrumors regular

    Sep 4, 2004
    Tough love. If I had to choose between getting smacked around a coupla times and boot camp, I'd hand over a belt.
  17. 2nyRiggz macrumors 603


    Aug 20, 2005
    Thank you Jah...I'm so Blessed
    smaking around do help sometimes but he still might end up someones tool in jail. you gotta get to him or let your girlfriend beat him up and threaten to tell everyone if he drops out......he'll stay in school then

  18. efoto macrumors 68030

    Nov 16, 2004
    Cloud 9 (-6)
    It's like an intervention where all of your loved ones gather around at your place randomly and you come home, surprised to see them all, and they all collectively say they want to talk to you about 'what you are doing to yourself'....not that I would know, I saw it on tv, seriously :p

    There is little you can do but I have to think that unless he is 18 he is required to do as his parents say which would be remain in school I presume. I would at least talk to his mother about it, see what she thinks. Since she is a single mother, and a busy one at that, talk to your dad about it (telling him not to get involved just to talk to you) and then when you talk to the kid's mom let her know your parents have offered to help if they can, she is free to contact them....or whatever works for you and your situation. You have to do something though, it isn't spiraling anywhere good right now.
  19. eva01 macrumors 601


    Feb 22, 2005
    Gah! Plymouth
    he will hit rock bottom eventually, that will come

    and yes it is illegal to not go to school in america before the age of 18
  20. Dont Hurt Me macrumors 603

    Dont Hurt Me

    Dec 21, 2002
    Yahooville S.C.
    LOL ,thats funny but not far from the truth.:D
  21. EricBrian macrumors 6502a


    Jul 30, 2005
  22. iSaint macrumors 603


    May 26, 2004
    South Mississippi y'all, near the water!
    lol...you ain't right!

    You were bored with high school, and obviously are capable beyond what high school was offering you. I applaud you for your dedication and hard work towards your goals. I think getting out of high school early should be a viable option for some kids who are bored with the system and need a greater challenge.
  23. supatekmedia88 thread starter macrumors newbie

    Jan 6, 2004
    Oh yeah, his mom has tried to smack him around a few times, and he has
    called the police on her each time.

    The first few times they were concerned about his well-being, but
    the last time they understood he was trying to get her in trouble.

    The police talked to him for an hour, but he was like "WHATEVER".
  24. w_parietti22 macrumors 68020

    Apr 16, 2005
    Seattle, WA
    Actually, I think you have to complete highschool until junior year.

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