16 year-old drop out advice???

supatekmedia88

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 6, 2004
17
0
My girlfriend's brother is 16, and dropped out of high school last month.
His mother is a nurse (single parent) and he just sits around all day,
smokes weed with his friends. He steals and lies all the time, and
doesn't have a job. I have tried talking him out of dropping out, but
since then he has stolen some of my stuff...and he actually stole all the Halloween candy 20 minutes before the trick-or-treaters came!!

His dad lives in the same town, but doesn't seem to care about
the situation. I know what my dad would do in this situation, but I have
trying to be quiet, since I am not his parent.....

Anybody have any ideas?
 

janey

macrumors 603
Dec 20, 2002
5,320
0
sunny los angeles
Holy crap, I almost thought you were talking about someone like me. I'm 16, dropped out of high school a few months ago.

On the other hand, I'm not sitting at home smoking pot, I'm working my ass off to get As in all my classes at a CC so I can transfer to Berkeley and get a BA and an MS in computer science, then go to med school...:eek:
 

Sun Baked

macrumors G5
May 19, 2002
14,874
57
Sounds like he's taken the first steps toward being the wife in prison...

Time for him to get off his ass, get his body and life in shape, or be ready to host a party in his pants.
 

TheMonarch

macrumors 65816
May 6, 2005
1,469
1
Bay Area
Catch him stealing or be able to prove that he did. He gets sent to juve. Tough love. If you're in the US. I think its illegal for him to drop out until he's 18 (I may be wrong though). In which case, mom/dad would be in trouble...
 

miloblithe

macrumors 68020
Nov 14, 2003
2,076
28
Washington, DC
I don't really know anything about this, but it seems like the coordinated approach is the best. Get mom, sis, you, and anyone else available to sit down and talk things through. Discuss the options. Jobs. GED. Being kicked out. Going back to highschool. Transferring.

Try to let him know that you want to reason with him, not just team up on him and tell him what to do.
 

XNine

macrumors 68040
HAve his mother send his ass to boot camp. When he returns, if he doesn't get his GED within 90 days, take away anything he enjoys, gameing, tv's, stereos, skateboards, everything. Give him a bed, clothes, and books to read. When he hits 18, no GED? Kick him out.

I dropped out of highschool to immediately get my GED when I was 17 because I hated highschool. I'm 23 and making nearly 40 a year because I've worked my ass off. It's not that hard to do. But if he's unwilling to better himself and put forward an effort to be something worth while, his mother should hand down to him wrath.
 

janey

macrumors 603
Dec 20, 2002
5,320
0
sunny los angeles
Onizuka said:
HAve his mother send his ass to boot camp. When he returns, if he doesn't get his GED within 90 days, take away anything he enjoys, gameing, tv's, stereos, skateboards, everything. Give him a bed, clothes, and books to read. When he hits 18, no GED? Kick him out.
If I were in that position, I would move out I suppose.

And when I was taking the CHSPE (california state equivalent of the GED), like 2/3 of the people who were taking the test with me in the same room were voicing concerns that they could not pass it for the 2nd/3rd/4th/x number of times they've taken the test (and these were the same people obsessing over their AP Bio/Chem/US History/English/Physics/Calc finals)...so I dunno about the getting the GED within 90 days thing.
 

CanadaRAM

macrumors G5
You have no authority or power in the situation here -- basically you've tried to talk to him, that's about as much as you can do. If you want, you can offer your support for something positive for him - tutoring, exercise buddy, that sort of thing - but you can't make him take up the offer.

Getting between him, your GF and their mother is a losing proposition for you. There is gonna be pain and tears in that family. I would suggest backing off the brother entirely and concentrate on supporting and loving your GF.
 

hhlee

macrumors 6502
May 19, 2005
254
0
CanadaRAM said:
You have no authority or power in the situation here -- basically you've tried to talk to him, that's about as much as you can do. If you want, you can offer your support for something positive for him - tutoring, exercise buddy, that sort of thing - but you can't make him take up the offer.

Getting between him, your GF and their mother is a losing proposition for you. There is gonna be pain and tears in that family. I would suggest backing off the brother entirely and concentrate on supporting and loving your GF.
YES. listen to him. you have no authority here, be compassionate to the complaints but really, stay out of it as much as possible. you might even hurt your own relationship if you get mucked up in this situation.
 

2nyRiggz

macrumors 603
Aug 20, 2005
6,159
66
Thank you Jah...I'm so Blessed
he needs to get back in high school. High school is most important even more important than college. he need that foundation to make it through this harsh world.....tell him to get it together


"it puts the lotion in the basket"
 

freeny

macrumors 68020
Sep 27, 2005
2,065
5
Location: Location:
Hes a punk and needs to be addressed as one. find someone who he truly respects and have them either talk to him or smack him around. by the time he figures out what a mistake he has made, in like 10 years, its too late and hes doomed. it will hurt you now but it will hurt him MUCH MUCH more later! he will also thank you for it.
 

Lacero

macrumors 604
Jan 20, 2005
6,639
2
Not much you can do. Some people want to slack off and be loafers. They actually choose to do it. I have no pity for those types of people. I feel sorry for your gf though.
 

supatekmedia88

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 6, 2004
17
0
He does respect me, I make snowboard films, and he respects that
and thinks I am cool....

I have tried to tell him about the problems he will face, but he doesn't believe
me, and I was the same way when I was 16 too, so I have tried to tell him my experiences many times

I would really like to hear from people who have gone through this, because
that will be the only way he will understand......because what he is doing now
looks like he will end up in jail VERY SOON.

I am going to show him what you guys say, so let me know if you have any stories about WHY we all think this is a bad idea.

thanks for the good responses already!
 

2nyRiggz

macrumors 603
Aug 20, 2005
6,159
66
Thank you Jah...I'm so Blessed
smaking around do help sometimes but he still might end up someones tool in jail. you gotta get to him or let your girlfriend beat him up and threaten to tell everyone if he drops out......he'll stay in school then
:rolleyes:


bless
 

efoto

macrumors 68030
Nov 16, 2004
2,627
0
Cloud 9 (-6)
miloblithe said:
I don't really know anything about this, but it seems like the coordinated approach is the best. Get mom, sis, you, and anyone else available to sit down and talk things through. Discuss the options. Jobs. GED. Being kicked out. Going back to highschool. Transferring.

Try to let him know that you want to reason with him, not just team up on him and tell him what to do.
It's like an intervention where all of your loved ones gather around at your place randomly and you come home, surprised to see them all, and they all collectively say they want to talk to you about 'what you are doing to yourself'....not that I would know, I saw it on tv, seriously :p

There is little you can do but I have to think that unless he is 18 he is required to do as his parents say which would be remain in school I presume. I would at least talk to his mother about it, see what she thinks. Since she is a single mother, and a busy one at that, talk to your dad about it (telling him not to get involved just to talk to you) and then when you talk to the kid's mom let her know your parents have offered to help if they can, she is free to contact them....or whatever works for you and your situation. You have to do something though, it isn't spiraling anywhere good right now.
 

eva01

macrumors 601
Feb 22, 2005
4,714
0
Gah! Plymouth
he will hit rock bottom eventually, that will come

and yes it is illegal to not go to school in america before the age of 18
 

Dont Hurt Me

macrumors 603
Dec 21, 2002
6,056
6
Yahooville S.C.
Sun Baked said:
Sounds like he's taken the first steps toward being the wife in prison...

Time for him to get off his ass, get his body and life in shape, or be ready to host a party in his pants.
LOL ,thats funny but not far from the truth.:D
 

iSaint

macrumors 603
jayscheuerle said:
Pop a cap in his sorry ass...
lol...you ain't right!

janey said:
Holy crap, I almost thought you were talking about someone like me. I'm 16, dropped out of high school a few months ago.

On the other hand, I'm not sitting at home smoking pot, I'm working my ass off to get As in all my classes at a CC so I can transfer to Berkeley and get a BA and an MS in computer science, then go to med school...
You were bored with high school, and obviously are capable beyond what high school was offering you. I applaud you for your dedication and hard work towards your goals. I think getting out of high school early should be a viable option for some kids who are bored with the system and need a greater challenge.
 

supatekmedia88

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Jan 6, 2004
17
0
Oh yeah, his mom has tried to smack him around a few times, and he has
called the police on her each time.

The first few times they were concerned about his well-being, but
the last time they understood he was trying to get her in trouble.

The police talked to him for an hour, but he was like "WHATEVER".
 

w_parietti22

macrumors 68020
Apr 16, 2005
2,499
1
Seattle, WA
blaskillet4 said:
Catch him stealing or be able to prove that he did. He gets sent to juve. Tough love. If you're in the US. I think its illegal for him to drop out until he's 18 (I may be wrong though). In which case, mom/dad would be in trouble...
Actually, I think you have to complete highschool until junior year.