This is one of my favorite "complaints of the tards" with the latest iPad. You make it sound like there are 18 so radically different versions that you can't possibly make up your mind. When really, there are way more combinations to choose from when you stuff your pie hole with McDonalds value meals, and you never complain about their excess of options provided.
Let me help the confused, weak minded......
White or black?
You've cut the selection down to 9.
3G or Wi-Fi?
If you said Wi-Fi, you're now down to 3 models with the only difference being storage size.
If you said 3G, pick from one of two carriers then pick from 3 models with the only difference being storage size.