Just returned from the Bellevue Apple Store, in a much better mood.
Went in, got a genius (Ken) who was unrushed, and attentive, and told him the story. He listened, and was respectful the entire time. I told him directly I was not interested in repair and if there were any other options. I specifically asked if I could do a credit for the cost of the repair towards another computer. The repair actually ended up being quoted for $755!
He went to talk to his manager for quite some time, came back, and presented me with two options: The credit towards another computer (what I had asked for), or a brand new machine. After my experience with University district, I was NOT expecting this. Given the nature of the incident, they exchanged my 2011 MBP 17" with a 15" Retina MBP! I personally went up to the manager and thanked him. Extremely friendly, and actually gave me the time of day. I'm not a very aggressive/direct person, so this was much more than I was hoping for.
The specs on the new machine are:
15-inch: 2.7GHz
with Retina display
2.7GHz quad-core Intel Core i7
Turbo Boost up to 3.7GHz
16GB 1600MHz memory
512GB flash storage1
They also threw in a $50 gift card! I asked for none of this, just a small credit towards a new computer, but given the incident, Ken (genius), and Kevin (manager) were more than happy to help me.
Alls well that ends well, I suppose. I managed to cut up and clean up the carpet to where you can't even tell there was damage. Thank you for everyone who posted in this thread convincing me to not settle, and get my butt into an Apple store. I honestly would NOT have gone in had the people in this thread not posted.
It is very strange that one Apple Store had such terrible service, where another one was more than happy to keep and satisfy a customer. Especially in a situation where much more grave consequences could have happen.
All that being said.. shall I crack her open?
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Specs:
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Honestly, I loved my 2011. The 17" screen, tons of ports, and DVD drive were all very appealing to me. But I'd rather have this 15" that hopefully won't catch fire than a computer that does.