Yeeeah, about that, sorry but I decided to forgo the Genius Bar. As much as I'd like to find out what's going on here, the more I thought about it I realized one way or another I'm going to return this unit and ask for a new one and hope it's better. (Or possibly just return it if I get any kind of hassle.)
Either the tech will find that there's actually a problem at which point I'd need to get this repaired or maybe they'll swap it out with a refurb. For something I've only had a few days I'd prefer not to have something that's been opened up and fiddled with and I definitely don't want a previously owned unit, as solid as it may possibly be. If they don't find a problem, which is more likely what's going to happen, then I'd prefer not to hold on to something that I'm not completely satisfied with.
It will be quite the disappointment if I had to return this or the potential replacement unit. The performance in general, hardware build, and user experience is fantastic. But the fans and the subpar battery performance is too much for me, personally, to overlook.