Agree that the basic OS X kernel (derived from the Mach kernel developed at Carnegie-Mellon) is essentially the same as that of iOS. But all the "fat" has been trimmed away from the higher layers. Especially, as you point out, the GUI layer.
Looking forward to 64-bit multi-core ARM-based AX SoCs on iPhone and iPad. I think the 64-bit data path is the gating factor in using said chips on Macs.
It's way more than the kernel. Basically the entire software stack is the same for OS X and iOS, probably 95% the same code.