OK, before I start, I know nobody likes reading these and after I am done writing I will turn myself in to the MR powers that be for my deserved flogging. With that, I will begin
I was involved with this chick a couple years back (friends with benefits sort of thing) and we had a falling out. She was seeing less of me and more of one of my good friends, and I wasn't digging that, so I bounced from both of them. Fast forward to January and I end up running into her at my friend's house (same friend as above as we had reconsiled a few months earlier). So her and I keep in touch and do the whole e-mail/myspace/text message thing but it is all real casual. No big deal. But then one night (well, morning as it was 3 AM) she calls me up tells me she needs to come over for a while because she can't stay at my friend's house and she's had one too many for her to comfortably drive home (she didn't get real specific as to why she couldn't stay with him; I would assume she couldn't handle him emotionally that night). I tell her cool as I don't want her to get a DUI or put her car into a ditch.
She normally is very stoic and guarded about her emotional state until she has been drinking. Then she tends to open up (in this instance, a lot). She arrives at my house and no more than 30 seconds in, she starts taking the whole blame for our little falling out. Keep in mind we still haven't even made it inside of the house yet (I met her at her car). So we get inside and she starts talking about various things and then asks me if I want to know the story between her and my friend (unsolicited, I might add). I tell her sure and she goes into how my friend and her were in a relationship until last year and they broke up and then got back together and the cycle repeats itself. That night I guess he was telling all of his friends at a party they were at that they were back together and she didn't seem real gun-ho about the idea. She then goes on to tell me about how he has been emotionally abusive to her (this is kind of important, I'll explain later) and all that. She says that he is the reason that she has begun seeing a shrink and taking anti-depressants. Then we begin to discuss various things between me and her and I get the impression that she is looking for sex. But not much longer later she starts telling me that she doesn't want to hurt me and all the vibes and hints I was getting about her wanting sex are suddenly gone (in addition to the not-so-subtle hint of "get off of me"...I was still clothed BTW
).
So my curiosities are two fold:
First, I really get the impression that she stays with my friend because he is very similar, emotionally speaking, to her ex-husband and she hasn't completely gotten the ex out of the system. From what I have gathered, both were/are emotionally distant and abusive. Am I seeing this right?
Second, and I am 99.9% sure of this but just looking for confirmation here. Her wanting to sleep with me was solely a way for her to get back at my friend. What I am not real sure on is the reason why she backed out. I have some theories:
One: She doesn't think I can emotionally handle being "used for sex",
Two: She really does take the blame for our (and by association, mine and my friend's) falling out and doesn't want feel she is the cause again,
Three: A combination of the two
Four: Some reason I have no clue of.
And now I am sure you are all thinking about my alterior motives here. Honestly, I really don't have any. I think of her as a friend and I'd like to see her be happy with her life (and if that happiness involved her telling me to get lost, I'd leave). But like I said before, she is really stoic and guarded and whenever any emotional subject comes up (while sober), she instantly shuts it down. So I try to drop hints where I can that I am available to talk whenever she needs.
There you have it fellow MacRumorians.
Let the flogging begin!
I was involved with this chick a couple years back (friends with benefits sort of thing) and we had a falling out. She was seeing less of me and more of one of my good friends, and I wasn't digging that, so I bounced from both of them. Fast forward to January and I end up running into her at my friend's house (same friend as above as we had reconsiled a few months earlier). So her and I keep in touch and do the whole e-mail/myspace/text message thing but it is all real casual. No big deal. But then one night (well, morning as it was 3 AM) she calls me up tells me she needs to come over for a while because she can't stay at my friend's house and she's had one too many for her to comfortably drive home (she didn't get real specific as to why she couldn't stay with him; I would assume she couldn't handle him emotionally that night). I tell her cool as I don't want her to get a DUI or put her car into a ditch.
She normally is very stoic and guarded about her emotional state until she has been drinking. Then she tends to open up (in this instance, a lot). She arrives at my house and no more than 30 seconds in, she starts taking the whole blame for our little falling out. Keep in mind we still haven't even made it inside of the house yet (I met her at her car). So we get inside and she starts talking about various things and then asks me if I want to know the story between her and my friend (unsolicited, I might add). I tell her sure and she goes into how my friend and her were in a relationship until last year and they broke up and then got back together and the cycle repeats itself. That night I guess he was telling all of his friends at a party they were at that they were back together and she didn't seem real gun-ho about the idea. She then goes on to tell me about how he has been emotionally abusive to her (this is kind of important, I'll explain later) and all that. She says that he is the reason that she has begun seeing a shrink and taking anti-depressants. Then we begin to discuss various things between me and her and I get the impression that she is looking for sex. But not much longer later she starts telling me that she doesn't want to hurt me and all the vibes and hints I was getting about her wanting sex are suddenly gone (in addition to the not-so-subtle hint of "get off of me"...I was still clothed BTW
).So my curiosities are two fold:
First, I really get the impression that she stays with my friend because he is very similar, emotionally speaking, to her ex-husband and she hasn't completely gotten the ex out of the system. From what I have gathered, both were/are emotionally distant and abusive. Am I seeing this right?
Second, and I am 99.9% sure of this but just looking for confirmation here. Her wanting to sleep with me was solely a way for her to get back at my friend. What I am not real sure on is the reason why she backed out. I have some theories:
One: She doesn't think I can emotionally handle being "used for sex",
Two: She really does take the blame for our (and by association, mine and my friend's) falling out and doesn't want feel she is the cause again,
Three: A combination of the two
Four: Some reason I have no clue of.
And now I am sure you are all thinking about my alterior motives here. Honestly, I really don't have any. I think of her as a friend and I'd like to see her be happy with her life (and if that happiness involved her telling me to get lost, I'd leave). But like I said before, she is really stoic and guarded and whenever any emotional subject comes up (while sober), she instantly shuts it down. So I try to drop hints where I can that I am available to talk whenever she needs.
There you have it fellow MacRumorians.
Let the flogging begin!
