- So, I found you a girl, Lisa. She is great - smart, beautiful, kind. She is also fun - she loves those Will Ferrell movies you love so much, she likes to ride a bike like you do. Oh, and did I mention she's really, really pretty? She'll be perfect for you.
- Wow. Does she live close?
- Well, not too far. You get an Uber and go to....
- AN UBER!?!? AN UBER!????? I NEED TO GIVE MONEY TO SOME STRANGER JUST TO BE ABLE TO VISIT HER?!
- Well, you can also take the bus, but....
- A BUS ALSO COSTS MONEY, TIM!
- But.... just for a while. I mean, one day you two might be living togeather.
- I DON'T LIVE IN THE FUTURE, TIM, I LIVE IN THE NOW. WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THE BUS? WHY? WHEN SUSIE PACKARD LIVES NEXT DOOR!
- But.... Susie.... I don't know man, Susie hates Ferrell movies, she thinks they are stupid. She loves romantic comedies.
- ROMANTIC COMEDIES ARE GREAT NOW, MAN. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING HORROR MOVIES HAVE, IF NOT MORE. MORE AND MORE FERRELL FANS ARE SWITCHING TO JENNIFER ANISTON MOVIES.
- But Susie gets tired after riding a bike for just a few minutes. And Lisa, she is really not that far, it's only....
- I DON'T CARE! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND, TIM!
- ....look, not that I have anything against overweight people, but Lisa is really fit, and has a great figure and....
- LOOK, TIM. NO ONE LIKES FIT GIRLS. SUSIE CAN LIFT 32 POUNDS WITH ONE HAND. I BET YOUR LISA CAN'T LIFT MORE THAN 16! BESIDES, SUSIE, SHE'S A GAMER! SHE PLAYS GAMES, YOU KNOW!
- That's great, man, but - you already play games with your friend - what's his name? The one from Japan.
- YOU'RE A FAILURE, TIM. YOU'RE THE WORST FRIEND EVER. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND FRIENDSHIP, TIM! YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE STEVE! IF HE WAS AROUND....
- I asked you not to mention Steve. Besides, he would've told you the same thing I did. Lisa is great, Susie is not.
- YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU, OR PHIL, OR CRAIG, OR JONY ANYMORE! I'LL FIND NEW FRIENDS! BETTER FRIENDS!
- Wow. Does she live close?
- Well, not too far. You get an Uber and go to....
- AN UBER!?!? AN UBER!????? I NEED TO GIVE MONEY TO SOME STRANGER JUST TO BE ABLE TO VISIT HER?!
- Well, you can also take the bus, but....
- A BUS ALSO COSTS MONEY, TIM!
- But.... just for a while. I mean, one day you two might be living togeather.
- I DON'T LIVE IN THE FUTURE, TIM, I LIVE IN THE NOW. WHY WOULD I PAY FOR THE BUS? WHY? WHEN SUSIE PACKARD LIVES NEXT DOOR!
- But.... Susie.... I don't know man, Susie hates Ferrell movies, she thinks they are stupid. She loves romantic comedies.
- ROMANTIC COMEDIES ARE GREAT NOW, MAN. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING HORROR MOVIES HAVE, IF NOT MORE. MORE AND MORE FERRELL FANS ARE SWITCHING TO JENNIFER ANISTON MOVIES.
- But Susie gets tired after riding a bike for just a few minutes. And Lisa, she is really not that far, it's only....
- I DON'T CARE! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND, TIM!
- ....look, not that I have anything against overweight people, but Lisa is really fit, and has a great figure and....
- LOOK, TIM. NO ONE LIKES FIT GIRLS. SUSIE CAN LIFT 32 POUNDS WITH ONE HAND. I BET YOUR LISA CAN'T LIFT MORE THAN 16! BESIDES, SUSIE, SHE'S A GAMER! SHE PLAYS GAMES, YOU KNOW!
- That's great, man, but - you already play games with your friend - what's his name? The one from Japan.
- YOU'RE A FAILURE, TIM. YOU'RE THE WORST FRIEND EVER. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND FRIENDSHIP, TIM! YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE STEVE! IF HE WAS AROUND....
- I asked you not to mention Steve. Besides, he would've told you the same thing I did. Lisa is great, Susie is not.
- YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU, OR PHIL, OR CRAIG, OR JONY ANYMORE! I'LL FIND NEW FRIENDS! BETTER FRIENDS!
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