(This post isn't responding to the most immediate posts above but to posts I've seen in bunches of threads over the past several weeks.)
For most of us, in my opinion, who know a little (or maybe a lot) about tech and care about such things and who still chose the XR, one of the major considerations is bang-for-the-buck. It is for me. The XR brings a lot to the table, and what it leaves off isn't as important to us.
Bezels? no problem. My XR is in a black case. I don't notice the bezels. Sure, the XS/Max looks a bit more elegant but at a price, but it's not like Apple put larger bezels in the XR in order to make it less visually appealing. Those lights have to go somewhere.
OLED? Nice, but again at a price (and some cannot optically tolerate OLED, but that's another story). PPI? Yes--I prefer 458 or whatever the XS/Max has, though I compared text on my 6s to a XS in a store and was hard pressed to see the difference in sharpness at a normal reading distance. Optical telephoto? Not that important to me, but I can see its usefulness
Now--you may think a few hundred dollars is not much to get those features, and that's perfectly fine. Many of us researched and compared phones and decided those features weren't worth the price difference. We don't walk into an Apple Store and say, "I want the cheapest iPhone." My 128GB XR was $800 plus sales tax. The XS doesn't have display zoom, a more useful feature to me than optical telephoto, so it wasn't in the equation. The Max would have been the OLED alternative. It has no 128GB option (as everyone knows), so the next step over the 64GB is the $1250 256GB phone. For me, the $450 difference in price is not worth the features I lose with the XR. If it is for you and works with your finances, go for it and enjoy.
While most who choose one way are gracious and understanding towards those made a different choice, a few posters are condescending and denigrating. There is no excuse for incivility.