Adopt a Noob!

[WhySoSerious]

ATT and Apple are preparing for this huge 3G launch, so why shouldn't WE prepare? I have a solution to this hectic time of the year.....

I propose a MacRumors law, “Adopt a Noob”!!

Law states:

- only macrumor members of a status of ‘regular’ or higher can participate. Macrumor MODS are not allowed to participate as they possess forum powers beyond most other’s control.
- Each macrumor member is allowed to adopt up to 2 ‘noobs’, no more.
- ‘noobs’ can not have multiple ‘parents’.
- After adopting a ‘noob’, the macrumor member now becomes the ‘parent’ of the ‘noob’ and should place a comment in their signature stating “My adopted noob is ****”
- You are only the ‘parent’ of said ‘noob’ until their forum status changes from ‘noob’ to “regular”…after that, they “leave the nest” and you must remove their name from your signature.

How to go about Adopting a Noob:

- Once a ‘noob’ makes a post, the first macrumor member to reply with “I, ‘member name’, adopt hereby noob, ‘noob name’” becomes the rightful parent.
- After adopting, a parent should then make contact with the adopted ‘noob’ via private message and begin parenting them.
- Have the adopted ‘noob’ update their signature with the phrase “My adoptive parent is ****”. This will help in tracking the ‘noob’ down if they get lost.

Responsibilities as a Parent:
- Catching the ‘noob’ up to speed on all basic information
- Assist your ‘noob’ in the ways of the forums. Provide adequate mentoring
- Assign them the task of reading the forum rules
- Help answer any noob questions they initially have
- Assist them with proper etiquette, spelling and grammar
- Above all, nurture the ‘noob’ into becoming a well-rounded forum member

Other notes of importance:

- You can not sell your ‘noob’ to another parent, but you can propose trades
- Abuse of a ‘noob’ is strictly prohibited.
- Once you adopt a ‘noob’, you must remain their parent for at least 1 week. If you feel your ‘noob’ is a pain in the rear, unwilling to compromise, rude or you just get tired of them, you can dump them from your signature and exile them from your adopted family. Be sure to PM your ‘noob’ and let them know they have been dumped so they can adjust their signature as well.


These are the official rules. If rules need amending, feel free to let me know and I’ll updated them here for all to read.

Now, go Adopt a Noob!

 

[The General]

Pff, I'm too lazy for that. How about the search function and Google adopts all the noobs?

 

[iTeen]

Sounds like a OK idea...but most people here just want the mac stuff. I say we just let the noobs grow up just as we did (that sounds really corny).

 

[nickspohn]

This isn't a great idea because if someone wanted to just come here and get a simple question....

Rather, have a thread specific thread for it, then i think it would be okay. You can educate people all about their iPhone, and you can still claim your noob. Just be the first person to claim him.


Post this into the site feedback forum.

 

[Kupe]

I prefer to be an orphan and fend for myself.

 

[Shackler]

cool

SleepingSickness I choose you!
Can we get our noob to attack other noobs we dont like? or does that fall under abuse?

 

[kkat69]

If you can't claim welfare benifits or deduct them from my taxes, forget it!

SleepingSickness I choose you!
Can we get our noob to attack other noobs we dont like? or does that fall under abuse?

That would just fall under bad parenting, not abuse.

Or

Can we highlight, select our noobs, move them to a spot and start attacking other noobs structures, like a 'grunt rush' (for those old warcraft/warcraft2 players out there you know this term) Oh wait, then they wouldn't be noobs, they'd be peons.

 

[citron230]

sounds like too much work.

 

[aubreyjane]

Adopt me!!!

I am purchasing an Iphone for the first time on 7/11/08 and I would love someone to adobt me and take me under their under their wing for all of the 1000 + questions I am sure to have!!! I don't know that I need much help with posting rules etc. Good idea though!

 

[WhySoSerious]

sounds like too much work.

how is it too much work?

find a noob, claim him/her as your adopted noob, and add their name to your signature.

done.

as for "raising" them......bah......you don't really have to do too much.

I am purchasing an Iphone for the first time on 7/11/08 and I would love someone to adobt me and take me under their under their wing for all of the 1000 + questions I am sure to have!!! I don't know that I need much help with posting rules etc. Good idea though!

I, WhySoSerious, adopt hereby noob, AubreyJane.

Aubrey, add me as your parent to your signature.

 

[-M7-]

I suggest yelling "Use the search, for gods sake!" at the newbies as usual.

 

[Loonytik]

[...]

Now, go Adopt a Noob!

Sounds like you have Master/Sub issues to me... Isnt that supposed to play out in Yahoo Chat rooms or something?

 

[BOSS10L]

Sounds like you have Master/Sub issues to me... Isnt that supposed to play out in Yahoo Chat rooms or something?

That and far too much free time.

 

[Consultant]

I suggest yelling "Use the search, for gods sake!" at the newbies as usual.

Yes, it should be mandatory, that before noobs can post, that they search topics and view recent threads first.
Perhaps some test? For example, they have to find the URL of a thread with "glossy or matt" in it.

 

[Eraserhead]

The boundary between adoption and adoptee is too small as both change on becoming a regular.

 

[Vegan TJ]

adopt me!

 

[mac 2005]

I suggest yelling "Use the search, for gods sake!" at the newbies as usual.

The search tool -- and the lack of its use -- is a universal problem.

 

[iJohnHenry]

adopt me!

Too needy.

Pass.

 

[21stcenturykid]

I love how the advert on this page was for adopt and orangutang! How very strange...

 

[Melrose]

This idea will fail, even if it succeeds in obtaining admin approval - for the simple reason, wait for it, here it is: The parent has no way to discipline said noob when the noob in question violates forum rules. You can't even give your noob-child a light slap in the face or kick in the pants.

That, and the difference between noob and parent is in the above proposition, too slight: Only 680101 (or whatever) can adopt a noob; that way, there's still an age difference in the two.

- - -

For some reason this reminded me of that SNL skit with Eddie Murphy about Abraham Lincoln forgetting to sign the Emancipation Proclamation. Anyone remember that one?

"We all realize that accosting a [noob] on the street can be dangerous. ... If the noob has seen this thread, then by all means, take him home and enjoy your [noob]. But he responds 'Say what?!' hand him $50 and run your tight little white buns off."

 

[Sun Baked]

I think the cats in the house would make better use of noobs as sandbox liners.

 

[dolphindolphin]

I think everyone should take a break from the noobing and answer my question:

Im getting my first mac blah blah blah which one should I get?

haha jk

 

[t0mat0]

I think the cats in the house would make better use of noobs as sandbox liners.

They could help with the drilling

 

[superman193]

Although im a macrumors newbie, does not mean i'm a noob I know more then some higher ranked members. I read alot of the posts, I just dont post back Good idea, for those who want to participate.

 

[Melrose]

^^ I think some MR residents only look at the user title, "MacRumors Newbie" while others may look at post quality and knowledge of the n00b in question.

By that same token, there are some members that by all rights and purposes should be n00bs since they make nonsense posts ("I ate a pickle" etc).

I'm shallow. Due to experience I usually call people by their title. It doesn't have to have bad connotations, it just means the member in question needs more experience.