Okay, I'm going to give you some of the best advice you'll ever get.
I actually recovered my password so that I could log in and answer you.
The most important thing you can realize is that "coding" means roughly the same as "typing" - on an old-fashioned typewriter.
It's a boring, thankless, menial job.
Do you want to be a "coder"? Really?
Or maybe a designer? Or an engineer? Or maybe a scientist?
These are three kinds of people that write code for a living - but the though process that leads to it is entirely different and in all cases the coding part is not the focus.
In fact, "coder" is not a real profession.
The paths that lead to each are different.
Don't let your relatively advanced age scare you.
"What, me, a scientist? I'm not a scientist. I just want to... code."
When I was 24 I was in a similar situation as you (except that I did "code" for a living, i.e. translating specifications into PHP code, at minimum wage) and I enrolled in a BS in computer science, then I got my MS and now I'm considering applying for a PhD program (while I fend off job proposals, they are literally raining).
The best choice of my life bar none.
Maybe that's your road as well.
Or maybe you should considering going to design school.
But don't settle for something only marginally better than waiting tables in your life.
EDIT: Oh, I almost forgot. This implies forgetting what sleep even is and saying goodbye to anything resembling a social life until you're around 30. But hey, that's overrated anyway.
Wow...
There is nothing like misplaced arrogance, but I guess we should all be grateful for the fact he gave you the best advice you will
ever get.
So here are my two cents, based on the fact I personally hired over 100 developers last year as I had to build lots of development teams very fast, for the companies I was/am running.
If you want to go down the degree/masters/phd route then fine, thats ok, but in Silicon Valley you will find that talent and skills will skill make you a far greater income than you have now even without a Bsc/Masters/PHD, and arguably much higher than your typical student with a doctorate (hell even a doctor) in Venice. The salaries for talent in your part of the world is almost limitless.
So back to the question at hand, someone said it earlier, but a degree might open the door, but code will get you a job, and for the most part thats correct.
I would find a language/stack you enjoy using, because you will need personal interest to keep informed on the topic, I migrated from PHP, through to Obj C, to eventually JS and then the MEAN stack - but its all personal preference, on the whole there is a use for most languages and a demand for them all too (I've managed RoR teams and .NET teams).
The single best bit of advice I think I can give (and no its not coming with a claim) is to just jump right in, read some tutorials, read them a few times, then just try to code; Javascript or PHP is usually good for a learning curve, but they do get powerful too, don't worry that you will take time, thats normal, but read and then do. I know "want to be developers" who spend lots of time reading blogs and tutorials but hardly any time typing out code, trying to change the tutorial, trying to learn by doing than anything else.
I personally love programming, and even though I am now a CTO, and perhaps can't code as often as I would like, I still love reviewing, and reading the code generated by my team.
TLR
Just jump in, and read some tutorials, maybe some jQuery or PHP tutorials. I'd avoid YouTube, too much watching, too little action, I always preferred StackOverflow, Smashing Mag, PluralSight and so forth.
P.S
On a personal note, I very rarely hire people who have Doctorates, not because I don't see their value, but I usually find the added years in Academia insulates them from people questioning their contributions quite bluntly, and that is usually not a great facet to have joining a team of experienced coders where they will usually critique code written by everyone (senior, junior) as par for the course.
Lastly, if someone is worried about not earning more than a waiter (with all respect) if they are a programmer, then I would be inclined to think they aren't a good programmer - on average the salaries I would pay would be 3/4/5/6x what a waiter would earn in London (for a Developer in London, and SV is just the same).
I hope that helps.