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Advice please

L

Lynnie27

macrumors member
Original poster
Mar 25, 2015
63
0
UK
Sorry to hijack the thread a little, but you guys are the only ones who will understand this, and also know how much the Apple Watch means to people like us.

My daughter is about to take exams at school (she's 16 so these are O'levels) and I promised her that if she revises hard I would buy her an Apple Watch.

I actually ordered it on pre-order day though she doesn't know this. She has wanted one from the start and is very jealous of mine. Anyway, it is due to arrive today and I have a dilemma - do I give her the watch today and trust that she will keep to her end of the deal (in fairness she has been studying hard, but I don't want that to stop) or do I wait until her last exam (12th June). I know the latter makes more sense but we all know what it's like to be waiting for an Apple Watch so I am really torn.
 
If it was me I would probably give in and give her the watch, on the promise that she continues to revise hard.

On the other hand, if she doesn't know that you have it, then she won't know what she is missing, so if you have the patience - then wait.
 
First of all, good on you for making your 16 year old VERY happy! :)

I would announce its arrival and make sure she honours and remembers your deal. I would then display the plastic covered box as a tease on a shelf somewhere. If she asks about getting it, laugh it off with a reminder of deal.

Over the next week I would quiz her (written tests perhaps) and see how she did. If results are good, I would hand it down to her and explain that the deal is still in place. Meaning, because here quizzes were good she gets to use the watch, but the final exam must keep up with the deal. If not, the watch ends up on eBay or CL!

But that's just me :)
 
I know it's itching in your entire body to give it to her but if you were to look at the whole situation from her perspective. She's working hard to kill the exams in order to get an Apple Watch. I'm sure she's very familiar to how hard they are to come by. Now. If you'd give it to her you'd be doing two things. First of all you'd be removing her entire goal since the human feeling of owning something already and getting to keep it isn't as strong as the drive to get to a goal.

Secondly she'd have an Apple Watch to distract her from studying. Which probably isn't a great idea even though she still has some time.

I'd suggest that you keep it hidden and when/if she passes the exams or if she actually doesn't pass the exam but has been extremely hard at work you give it to her.

If I were in your position I'd probably say that I've ordered it and that it should arrive 5:th of June. That way I'd be able to show it to her right after that and she'd know that I kept my end of the deal. Showing it too early would probably just make her emotional about the fact that it's just sitting there instead of her already getting it on her wrist.

Do keep us posted on what's happening. It's a really really awesome thing you've done.
 
Do not give her the apple watch!!!!! A lot of college students are wearing this so they can cheat in the exam! Reason because exam rules says no phone allowed but does not mention a smartwatch being allowed.
 
zfan111222 said:
Do not give her the apple watch!!!!! A lot of college students are wearing this so they can cheat in the exam! Reason because exam rules says no phone allowed but does not mention a smartwatch being allowed.
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I would not allow her to wear it during an exam as it would be too risky in case someone reported her for wearing it and she got disqualified. I think in a silent exam hall 'Hey Siri'would be a little hard to disguise though :)
 
Or you could wait until results are published, the best incentive to get all those A*'s!
 
You people are wonderful, thanks so much for your genuinely valuable input. I mentioned in another forum, back in March, that I intended to buy an Apple Watch for my daughter and I got a lot of abuse over it. I was told I was spoiling her, giving her the wrong message by giving her expensive presents and more or less told she should be grateful to have a second hand smartphone as a Christmas present!

My daughter is far from spoiled but it gives me immense pleasure to treat her when I can and, as she is as into gadgets and technology as I am, I couldn't miss this opportunity :D I'm so happy you lovely people understand.
 
In my opinion you should wait until she does get those good grades. As someone else mentioned, let her know that it arrived but don't let her open it. She can only open it after you've seen the grades and you're satisfied with them. She will work extra hard trust me. ;)
 
As a father and also a student myself. I just got done with my finals. And I'm glad my watch didn't come before the finals.
I would wait until she's done with her finals as it will distract her. She will be playing with the watch and setting it up instead of studying.
 
I would worry she wouldn't be able to resist playing with the watch when she ought to be revising. However, it's probably not too much of a distraction and it would keep her spirits high. Of course, you know you daughter best and I'd say trust your instincts.

It's the first time I've heard of revising for exams (or would you just say "revising exams") — here in the States we just study for them. I hope she does well and enjoys her reward.
 
dont give it to her!

itll be a high then she'll have to go back to revising.

It'll mak ethe end of exams way more special if you wait!
 
Lynnie27 said:
Sorry to hijack the thread a little, but you guys are the only ones who will understand this, and also know how much the Apple Watch means to people like us.

My daughter is about to take exams at school (she's 16 so these are O'levels) and I promised her that if she revises hard I would buy her an Apple Watch.

I actually ordered it on pre-order day though she doesn't know this. She has wanted one from the start and is very jealous of mine. Anyway, it is due to arrive today and I have a dilemma - do I give her the watch today and trust that she will keep to her end of the deal (in fairness she has been studying hard, but I don't want that to stop) or do I wait until her last exam (12th June). I know the latter makes more sense but we all know what it's like to be waiting for an Apple Watch so I am really torn.
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Simple: just keep it hidden and wait until her exams are over. This way you won't distract her with this great gift during her revision period, it'll be a great surprise and joy for her after all that stress :)

Anyway I've never been a great supporter of that carrot and stick thing but heh, she's your daughter, you want the best for her, so do want you want to do. Just make sure she'll be a great grown-up.
 
I think you should tell her it arrived but has to wait until her last exam to get it. Initially she will want to spend a lot of time playing with the watch and tweaking things. This would take away from her studying time.
 
Agree with the others. Don't give it to her until exams are over. Up to you if you want her to know that you have it but either way, giving it to her now would be a big mistake.
 
Wait until her end of the deal is fulfilled.

Just one point that may help to ease your mind - you mentioned the feeling of what it's like to be waiting on a watch. She's not in that position. She doesn't know it's coming. You told her that IF she brought her grades up, THEN you would buy her a watch. She has no idea and I'd keep it that way.

As a bonus, when the grades do come in an anticipated, you have it immediately to present and can tell her you had all the faith in the world in her, so you preordered knowing she would earn it.

Win win.
 
Lynnie27 said:
Sorry to hijack the thread a little, but you guys are the only ones who will understand this, and also know how much the Apple Watch means to people like us.

My daughter is about to take exams at school (she's 16 so these are O'levels) and I promised her that if she revises hard I would buy her an Apple Watch.

I actually ordered it on pre-order day though she doesn't know this. She has wanted one from the start and is very jealous of mine. Anyway, it is due to arrive today and I have a dilemma - do I give her the watch today and trust that she will keep to her end of the deal (in fairness she has been studying hard, but I don't want that to stop) or do I wait until her last exam (12th June). I know the latter makes more sense but we all know what it's like to be waiting for an Apple Watch so I am really torn.
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What is the return policy there? I assume you're in the UK.

I think I'd let her open it now. Make sure it works, let her pair it and so forth. She's already jealous that you have one, so it's likely on her mind. I think it's less of a distraction to know you've gotten her one.

I'd tell her she cannot have it full time until the end of exams, but she can have it to wear at home and when she's out with you to remind her to do well on her exams. The rest of the time, it goes back in the box. It's an incentive. :)

The "tinkering" factor dies down fast with the watch. I'd say she won't lose too much study time to the watch. It's not like the phone in that regard. And, a girl her age is likely already using social media as a distraction anyway.

Note: the down side is that you have to be prepared to take it away if she does poorly on her exams. It sounds like that is unlikely, but it may be an argument in favor of waiting. If you wait, I wouldn't tell her you have it. Just remind her that you'll get her one if she does well on her exams.

ETA: I bought my daughter one (hasn't arrived yet) and she's younger than your daughter (14). I see nothing wrong with buying a teenager a smart watch. They already carry iPhones that cost more anyway.
 
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Yeah, you should wait. Imagine that day...she has gotten all her scores and she has done very well. You can say "great job, I will order a watch as promised" Pretend to make a call and the next moment turn around and hand her the watch that you already have delivered.
 
I can definitely see the point where it would be a distraction before the exams, so there's definitely some logic to withholding it until they are over.

If you are going to keep it until afterwards, I would definitely advise not telling her about it before. That's also a distraction, and although I can't speak for anyone else, I would also find this very cruel. To get a lovely surprise is one thing, but to have something dangled above my nose would be very hurtful to me.

If it were me, and I knew that she had been working hard, I would give it to her as a surprise after her last exam-- to keep, regardless of her marks. Sometimes hard work is not reflected in examination scores, and it would be a disincentive to work hard in the future if her results are not what you/she hoped for this time.

Good luck to your daughter: I hope she gets the marks she is hoping for, and that the exam period isn't too stressful for the two of you.
 
Lynnie27 said:
You people are wonderful, thanks so much for your genuinely valuable input. I mentioned in another forum, back in March, that I intended to buy an Apple Watch for my daughter and I got a lot of abuse over it. I was told I was spoiling her, giving her the wrong message by giving her expensive presents and more or less told she should be grateful to have a second hand smartphone as a Christmas present!

My daughter is far from spoiled but it gives me immense pleasure to treat her when I can and, as she is as into gadgets and technology as I am, I couldn't miss this opportunity :D I'm so happy you lovely people understand.
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This seems to happen a lot around here. Some threads turn in to ParentingRumors pretty quickly.

Like you, I really enjoy giving nice gifts. My one year old has a tablet with some educational apps on it. Granted, it was a gift to me that I passed on to him, but some people would probably still have an issue with me giving it to him. :)

As for your watch dilema....

Maybe let her have it, allow some time for setup, and remind her of your deal. Perhaps once she "plays" with it she will work harder so as not to lose the watch if she doesn't hold up her end of the deal. I realize this may sound slightly cruel, but it may also work.

I should note, that I am terrible when it comes to holding on to gifts. One year I bought my wife some jewelry for Christmas, on the 10th of the month, I was so excited that I gave it to her that night. :)
 
Whatever you do, open it up and examine it closely for flaws and pair it up and test it before your return period is up. That's the major problem about getting it in advance. If it has a hidden flaw and sits there past the return/exchange period then you're left with warranty service.

It's hit or miss for me if I give a reward in advance. Sometimes the kid slacks off. Then I have to point at the gift, make a pointed reminder to honor commitments, and that gets everything back on track again. If it didn't, that would be the end of special rewards and incentives. I'd know I have spoiled my child and that the gravy train should come to a halt fast.

A lot of parents would argue there shouldn't need to ever be rewards or incentives and that hard work is its own reward. I don't know. I was raised on rewards and incentives myself. So I never knew envy or jealousy of peers, because I knew if I wanted something I could earn it, which seemed fair to me and gave me a source of pride and a feeling of recognition for my effort. Even now I still give myself rewards and incentives to motivate myself. It makes drudgery bearable and even enjoyable to know there's something nice waiting at the end of it.

I wish your daughter much luck on her exams. I have no idea what O levels are and thanks to Harry Potter I know that revising means studying, and that's about all I know of your system. ;) I'm guessing it's similar to our final exam weeks here.
 
GrumpyMom said:
I have no idea what O levels are and thanks to Harry Potter I know that revising means studying, and that's about all I know of your system. ;) I'm guessing it's similar to our final exam weeks here.
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They're the equivalent of the OWLs. ;)
 
Show her the box. Let her touch the box....Then take it away and hide it.

Don't ever mention the watch again. If she asks questions or makes reference to her watch, act like you never bought it. You have no clue as to what watch she is talking about.

It will drive her crazy, but I bet she will pass her exams.
 
Lynnie27 said:
do I give her the watch today and trust that she will keep to her end of the deal (in fairness she has been studying hard, but I don't want that to stop) or do I wait until her last exam (12th June). I know the latter makes more sense but we all know what it's like to be waiting for an Apple Watch so I am really torn.
Click to expand...

Wait until the 12th - be strong!

We all know the pain of waiting for something like an Apple Watch... we feel it as adults, let alone at 16!!!

That said you set her a target and, if she achieves it, when she gets the watch you teach her the important lesson of working for what she wants. She may not be working to earn money for it, but she is working for it none the less and that's a great lesson you are teaching with her. (Just make sure she doesn't know you already have it)

She will hate me for saying this, you will feel crappy knowing you have it and are not giving it to her and I feel crappy for saying don't give it to her, but life lessons like this (especially at that age) are more important than instant gratification... be strong my friend!
 
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