To warn you, this is a expensive option, but will do what you want it to do. I know, I have it and an iPhone 4.
http://www.pioneerelectronics.com/P...eo/In-Dash/GPS-Navigation-Systems/AVIC-Z120BT
The Pioneer AVIC-Z120BT will not only control your iPhone/iPod through the headunit, but theres an option in there that will let you control the music through your iPhone. With the iPhone plug in using the iPod cable, its charges, and all the info is show on the headunit, include the album art.
Whats even better is, when you have the Pandora app open, it shows up on the head unit, you can switch tracks/stations, and even tag the song through the headunit. Why control the music through the iPhone when you have a full 7' widescreen to do it

.
Ofcourse, you can stream music to it using bluetooth, you can also skip or pause tracks using the headunit (you can also buy the adapter and control it using the steering wheel controls).
You can also play movies or music videos that are stored on your iPhone through the headunit also.
There is even a way to trick it and stream anything that loads through the iPhone video app, that includes youtube or anything else that streams using the offical video app. I never tried it with any 3rd party apps.
It does many more things, I'll let you do the research if you are interested.
But like I said, this is an expensive option. the headunit alone goes around 800+. Then theres the iPod cable and steering wheel adapter. You can also buy the HD, XM, or Sirius Radio addon.
Oh and before I forget. Yes, I have put music apps in the background while its connected through the iPod cable, and it still plays. I was able to skip tracks and stuff too. I usually do this when I'm checking sports scores, or texting =p. Oh and I have updated my iOS a few times (on my iPhone 3g) and it works fine.