Aliens caused Sicily fires, say officials

[Blue Velvet]

Aliens were responsible for a series of unexplained fires in fridges, TV’s and mobile phones in an Italian village, according to an Italian government report.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/waliens126.xml

Canneto di Caronia, in northern Sicily, drew attention three years ago after residents reported everyday household objects bursting into flames.

TV news footage at the time showed electrical appliances as well as cookers, a pile of wedding presents and furniture smouldering.

Dozens of experts including scientists, electrical engineers and military boffins, arrived in the village 60 miles east of Palermo to investigate the phenomenon.

Arson was quickly ruled out and at one stage an amazed scientist was interviewed after he described how he saw an unplugged electrical cable burst into flames.

Locals were quick to blame supernatural forces and at the time the Vatican’s chief exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth backed up their fears and said: "I’ve seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods. Let’s not forget that Satan and his followers have immense powers."

Now in an interim leaked report published by several Italian newspapers it has emerged that the Civil Protection Department has concluded the most likely cause was "aliens".

The report was ordered by the Italian government and brought together dozens of experts including a NASA scientist. Their two year investigation has cost an estimated £1 million.

According to the report the fires were "caused by a high power electro magnetic emissions which were not man made and reached a power of between 12 and 15 gigawatts."

The report also detailed a possible UFO landing close to the village, citing "burnt imprints which have not been explained were found in a field."

Francesco Mantegna Venerando, Sicily’s Civil Protection chief who coordinated the report, said: "This is not the final report. We are still working on our conclusions and this has been leaked.

"We are not saying that little green men from Mars started the fires but that unnatural forces capable of creating a large amount of electromagnetic energy were responsible.

"This is just one possibility we are also looking at another one which involves the testing of top secret weapons by an unknown power which are also capable of producing an enormous amount of energy."

...and wrapping up tonight's news;


Man who had sex with bike in court

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down...

...

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml


'night all.

 

[Queso]

I’ve seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods. Let’s not forget that Satan and his followers have immense powers.

LOL. Yeah, that's right. Case closed.

Mind you, "aliens" isn't exactly a better explanation is it?

 

[Jaffa Cake]

"I’ve seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods. Let’s not forget that Satan and his followers have immense powers."

I don't know about anyone else, but if I were a demon-type with immense powers then I'd probably use them to possess people, burn down churches and commit similar acts of ungodly depravity. Making the fuse go in some old dear's toaster probably wouldn't come too high up my list of priorities...

 

[Blue Velvet]

Oh, and don't forget to put your clocks back tomorrow night (UK).

 

[Queso]

Oh, and don't forget to put your clocks back tomorrow night (UK).

Obviously. But don't do it if you're in Italy. Apparently they explode in your face!!

 

[Iscariot]

Oh man, those aliens sound totally sweet. I wish I had super advanced technology, just so I could mess with lower life forms.

 

[Kingsly]

...caused by a high power electro magnetic emissions which were not man made and reached a power of between 12 and 15 gigawatts...

All they need is a flux capacitor and suddenly the novelty of blowing up household electronics wears off!

 

[Abstract]

Surely they mean illegal aliens.

 

[RedTomato]

Man who had sex with bike in court

OK so I live in the UK too, but I have a hard time believing this story. AFAIK there's no such law as 'sexual breach of the peace'. Breach of the peace yes, but not 'sexual breach of the peace'.

(Google confirms the event happened btw)

So he was mucking about with a bike, but in PRIVATE in his own room. They forced open his hotel room, they're the ones who should be charged with breach of his peace.

I'm deaf. If someone busts into my hotel room and catches me with my partner, or watching the hotel's own 'special' channels, would l I be put on the sex offences register too?

Edit: Google now says 'in Scotland it is an offense to simulate sex with an inanimate object'. So putting a condom on is illegal? Using a dildo is illegal in scotland? Will they close down all the legal council licensed sex shops down Leith way?

 

[Lau]

So he was mucking about with a bike, but in PRIVATE in his own room. They forced open his hotel room, they're the ones who should be charged with breach of his peace.

Yes, I thought that too. I don't really see the crime here – I presume the bike wasn't too bothered and the door was locked.

Edit: We've been burst in on by over-zealous chambermaids before. Even if you put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door, they still start phoning to see if you're still there. "Yes, we are, and we don't want the room cleaned. We'll take the sign off when we go out". On the third day we, er, weren't in a position to be answering the phone, and so they just came in. Fortunately there was a corridor bit preserving our modesty, and a unanimous "**** OFF!" got an "Oops, sorry!" and they buggered off. But honestly. What's the point of the Do Not Disturb sign if they just come in?

I was most incensed, and have much sympathy for bike-shagging man.

 

[Queso]

OK so I live in the UK too, but I have a hard time believing this story. AFAIK there's no such law as 'sexual breach of the peace'. Breach of the peace yes, but not 'sexual breach of the peace'.

(Google confirms the event happened btw)

So he was mucking about with a bike, but in PRIVATE in his own room. They forced open his hotel room, they're the ones who should be charged with breach of his peace.

I'm deaf. If someone busts into my hotel room and catches me with my partner, or watching the hotel's own 'special' channels, would l I be put on the sex offences register too?

Edit: Google now says 'in Scotland it is an offense to simulate sex with an inanimate object'. So putting a condom on is illegal? Using a dildo is illegal in scotland? Will they close down all the legal council licensed sex shops down Leith way?

An excellent post on all points.

 

[Blue Velvet]

They forced open his hotel room

Sure it was a hotel room? Not disputing the intrusion of privacy... but having lived in a hostel, I know that hostel workers have a right to go almost where they like without your permission.

 

[2nyRiggz]

"I’ve seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods. Let’s not forget that Satan and his followers have immense powers."

That seems about right to me....the only way to get to our souls is through our appliance.

Wish I had one in my toaster....pop some toast every morning.



Bless