This is the best book to learn Java:
"Head First Java" by Kathy Sierra and Bert Bates, O'Reilly, ISBN 0-596-00920-8.
You do NOT need an IDE and you should NOT overload yourself by trying to learn Java AND a compley IDE like Netbeans or eclipse or - horror! - Xcode. Just as Kathy Sierra recommends, a simple text editor (e.g. jEdit, TextWrangler or BBEdit) and the Mac's Terminal window will be sufficient.
Java is already complex enough, so keep everything as simple as possible.
Just buy ONE book and stick to the Java command line tools and your text editor while you work your way through that book. And it might be a good idea to stay away from Internet forums while you're studying that book -- it will only confuse you more instead of helping you get anywhere.
I can second that book for Java.
I'm not using it myself. but my friend says its a very good book.