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Am I right in feeling like I'm a spoiled brat right now?

iMpathetic

iMpathetic

macrumors 68030
Original poster
Oct 7, 2007
2,547
4
IMBY
<hormones>

... so basically here's what's going on.

I've had the worst phone you can possibly imagine (Motorola W315) for two years. I'm due for an upgrade now for my 16th birthday, and since I usually pay for my stuff myself (computers, bikes, etc) I thought it was kind of cool to get a new phone. I was originally going to get the Droid Eris until I laid eyes on the plain Droid... so I asked mom if I could pay the difference in initial cost ($120) and $20 a month for 3G data.

Right before I can go get the phone, she goes off about how "a 16 year old with no job shouldn't have the nicest phone Verizon has."

so I was talking to my best friend about it and he got really mad at me because I was talking about how I don't really get much from my parents and I was going to pay the difference anyway and called me spoiled, etc and we NEVER get in legit fights/arguments about ANYTHING and now I feel like a massive spoiled d*ck.

I just wanted the droid because, hey, I'm a nerd, I've been laughed at for two years about my phone, and I think it'd be really fun to turn the tables for one.

What do y'all think?

</hormones>
 
1) How do you pay for "my stuff myself (computers, bikes, etc)"
2) When you grow up you won't worry so much about clothes/car/phone as criteria on which you are judged
3) Have a logical, calm discussion with your parent. Tell her your reasons why you want/need a new phone. Ask calmly about her concerns/objections. Discuss it without sounding like a spoiled brat and come to some mutual decision (but until you have your own money and out of the hoise, the parent is the law).
4) If your phone works now, you have less of an argument
5) Remember: beggars cannot be choosers
 
When you start a post disclaiming that your feelings are the way they are because of your hormones then it is hard to think of you as anything other than some over-entitled child. However, if you are not paying for the phone yourself then you have no right to be pissed off about what your parent(s) are buying you.

If you currently buy all of your luxury items (a cell phone is a luxury) then you may as well pay for this all on your own or take what your parent(s) are willing to buy you.



On a side note: I love MR, it's the best form of birth control out there!
 
eawmp1 said:
1) How do you pay for "my stuff myself (computers, bikes, etc)"
2) When you grow up you won't worry so much about clothes/car/phone as criteria on which you are judged
3) Have a logical, calm discussion with your parent. Tell her your reasons why you want/need a new phone. Ask calmly about her concerns/objections. Discuss it without sounding like a spoiled brat and come to some mutual decision (but until you have your own money and out of the hoise, the parent is the law).
4) If your phone works now, you have less of an argument
5) Remember: beggars cannot be choosers
Click to expand...

1) I pretty much horse-trade stuff and make a profit.
2) true.
3) Just did...
4) Mom put it through the dryer... :eek:
5) true

jessica. said:
When you start a post disclaiming that your feelings are the way they are because of your hormones then it is hard to think of you as anything other than some over-entitled child. However, if you are not paying for the phone yourself then you have no right to be pissed off about what your parent(s) are buying you.

If you currently buy all of your luxury items (a cell phone is a luxury) then you may as well pay for this all on your own or take what your parent(s) are willing to buy you.


On a side note: I love MR, it's the best form of birth control out there!
Click to expand...

OK, first of all, that hormones tag was because I felt really stupid making the thread. Sue me. Secondly, I am paying for the difference between phone A and phone B.

Lastly, I sure hope it's working because you're sure not qualifying yourself to raise kids right now.
 
iMpathetic said:
so I asked mom if I could pay the difference in initial cost ($120) and $20 a month for 3G data

...

What do y'all think?
Click to expand...

I think this is a mature and reasonable suggestion. The various 'deals' I did with my parents taught me about leverage, financial planning, interest, saving towards a goal etc. Really useful in later life (far more useful than being able to calculate the long side of a triangle from the other two sides).

I'd try approaching them again (they might have had a chat about it behind your back). You'd do well to flatter them first; 'I've had a think about what you said and looked up these 3 phones as alternatives [hands over printouts], however, none really meet what I want/need for these reasons'. You'll need to actually have looked them up, because one clever question about them will blow you out of the water. Mention that you have made inroads to being financially independent but there are times you need their support, and that support can also be a learning exercise.

If that doesn't work, ask for them to pay the lump sum difference and you pay them back in instalments. If that doesn't work ask again but paying them back with interest (I highly doubt any parent would take interest off their child, but it'll show how committed you are). If that doesn't work you’re going to have to save up and buy it. At least it'll demonstrate your resolve for next time.

I'm also of the opinion that if you use something everyday, spend as much as you can afford on it. Because you'll enjoy it everyday as opposed to thinking 'what if' every day.

edit:
iMpathetic said:
Secondly, I am paying for the difference between phone A and phone B.
Click to expand...

Ignore any 'get what you're given' arguments which this thread will become flooded with; that's simply not a realistic position (or fair - i.e. those who have the means, and therefore choice, to get luxury products saying 'tough' to those who do not via circumstance). It's also rubbish because, as you've pointed out, the cost to your parents remains the same.

Good luck. I don't know how it'll turn out but stick to your guns for now!

AppleMatt
 
AppleMatt said:
I think this is a mature, reasonable suggestion. The various 'deals' I did with my parents taught me about leverage, financial planning, interest, saving towards a goal etc. Really useful in later life, far more useful than being able to calculate the long side of a triangle from the lengths of the other two sides.

I'd try approaching them again (they might have had a chat about it behind your back). You'd do well to flatter them first; 'I've had a think about what you said and looked up these 3 phones as alternatives [hands over printouts], however, none really meet what I want/need for these reasons'. You'll need to actually have looked them up, because one clever question about them will blow you out of the water if you don't know.

If that doesn't work, ask for them to pay the lump sum difference and you pay them back in instalments. If that doesn't work ask again but paying them back with interest (I highly doubt any parent would take interest off their child, but it'll show how committed you are).

I'm also of the opinion that if you use something everyday, spend as much as you can afford on it. Because you'll enjoy it everyday as opposed to thinking 'what if' every day.

Good luck. I don't know how it'll turn out, but stick to your guns for now!

AppleMatt
Click to expand...

Thanks for that post... I'm late for the bus but when I'm home i'll respond to it better. :)
 
I would try and compromise with your mom. If paying the extra monthly plan fees and for the extra cost of the phone isn't acceptable to your mom, then you need to look at another phone. Maybe, you should reconsider the Eris.
 
Why?

Why fuel the fire?

Why do you need a smart phone?

I figure you have a lap top, ipod, etc...

I understand wanting one later in life possibly, when you would take advantage of its features, but your mom has a fantastic point. Why DOES an unemployed 16 year old NEED the best phone verizon has?

I have had this samsung pos phone for over 3 years now, it does not have email, it can only hold like 5 pictures on it, but it works just great!

If I were you, I would pick your battles. This does not seem like one that is worth it
 
Maybe you could forge a letter from the management company. Wait, what?

You also outed yourself for joining the forums when you were underage. :0
 
iMpathetic said:
Question: does the fact that I can pay for it not matter if I'm not technically employed?
Click to expand...

The point is you have excess cash because your parents are feeding/housing you. This isn't reality, when you move out you will realize that you don't lock yourself into a data contract for 20 extra dollars a month if you don't have a steady job.

Also I noticed you blamed your mother for putting your cell through the dryer, I hope you didn't do that in real life, clean your pockets out, or better yet, do your own laundry.
 
leekohler said:
Your mom is right, so is your friend.

If you want the Droid, go get a job.
Click to expand...

Bingo.

If you don't have a job how can you afford bikes, phones etc? Is it pocket money, because if it was I could see why your mother and friend would be like that. If you are 16 and living off pocket money maybe it is time to get a job if you want to buy nice things?

A Motorola W315 is the worst phone you could imagine? Lordy. I've been using a Razer V3 since 2006. I wish the W315 would be the worst phone I could imagine ;).
 
Zombie Acorn said:
The point is you have excess cash because your parents are feeding/housing you. This isn't reality, when you move out you will realize that you don't lock yourself into a data contract for 20 extra dollars a month if you don't have a steady job.

Also I noticed you blamed your mother for putting your cell through the dryer, I hope you didn't do that in real life, clean your pockets out, or better yet, do your own laundry.
Click to expand...

Phone on dryer, water spilled on laptop, and bike run over all in 3 days... I pretty much am going to blame her for this, yes.

On a side note: Do some people come out of the womb 35 and bitter?
 
iMpathetic said:
Phone on dryer, water spilled on laptop, and bike run over all in 3 days... I pretty much am going to blame her for this, yes.

On a side note: Do some people come out of the womb 35 and bitter?
Click to expand...

No one is bitter. We want to know how you're paying for things if you're not employed.
 
Ok, based on everything you have said to this point, I am going to go out on a limb and agree with your original premise... "yes, you are right in feeling like you are a spoiled brat now"

Woof, Woof - Dawg
pawprint.gif
 
Your friend is jealous but he may have a point. Your mom is just trying to keep you sensible/responsible. Show her that you are by calmly discussing a compromise with her and or looking for a job. Whether you get the phone or not, it sounds like things are pretty okay in your life. Be glad about that.
 
rdowns said:
Maybe you could forge a letter from the management company. Wait, what?

You also outed yourself for joining the forums when you were underage. :0
Click to expand...

I see you're confusing the immature threads today also. ;)
 
iBlue said:
Your friend is jealous but he may have a point. Your mom is just trying to keep you sensible/responsible. Show her that you are by calmly discussing a compromise with her and or looking for a job. Whether you get the phone or not, it sounds like things are pretty okay in your life. Be glad about that.
Click to expand...

Yep- what you said. You were nicer than I am. I have no patience for things like this. ;)

iMpathetic said:
I buy and sell things in order to make a profit.
Click to expand...

OK- on Ebay, things like that? And that is OK if you can afford to pay for the phone yourself. But again, your mom is trying to help you understand responsibility.
 
iMpathetic said:
Phone on dryer, water spilled on laptop, and bike run over all in 3 days... I pretty much am going to blame her for this, yes.

On a side note: Do some people come out of the womb 35 and bitter?
Click to expand...

You sound like a very responsible teenager. :rolleyes:
 
rdowns said:
You sound like a very responsible teenager. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

That was all my mother guys. SHE kicked the glass onto the laptop, SHE ran over the bike, and SHE put the phone in the dryer. I don't understand how this is my fault.

leekohler: I'm paying for the difference between the two phones.
 
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