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Any divorce attorney here?

B

birchest

macrumors newbie
Original poster
Apr 20, 2011
7
0
How do you get a divorce if your spouse left for another country?

This is my friend's dilemma. (yeah.. haha.. but it's true.. I'm NBM :cool:) My friend fell in love with a girl in college -- she was an international student here in US and left for her home after graduation. So, he visited the girl's country many times to see her.

Finally, the girl came back to US and they got married here. But, things didn't work out between the two and, in less than 4 months, the wife just took off and left for her country. That was last summer. The weird thing is that my friend can't reach his wife. She's not returning his email and he doesn't even have her phone number. Her parents does not speak a word of English so my friend hired a translator but for some reason it didn't help.

Well, as far as I know, this is the story. My friend is finally giving up on waiting and thinking about moving on, but worris whether he can divorce his wife without her signing the paper.
 
I had a similar situation with my first marriage - she just up and left without telling anyone where she was going. I knew she was planning to leave and all, so it wasn't unexpected.

Since I had no idea where to have her served with divorce papers, I had to go before the judge ex parte and explain that her whereabouts were unknown, and that she had basically abandoned the marriage. I had to take out an ad in the paper of her last known city of residence for a month, and if she still hadn't come forward, then they'd proceed without her.

That's in my state. Laws in yours may vary. Whomever he retains for counsel will probably know.
 
You can - and easily, too. Just file divorce for reason of abandonment.

However, any judgment you get against her (property split, damages, child support, etc) will most likely be ineffectual.

I'm not a lawyer, so don't use this as legal advice.

My actual legal advice? Get a lawyer.
 
CorvusCamenarum said:
I had a similar situation with my first marriage - she just up and left without telling anyone where she was going. I knew she was planning to leave and all, so it wasn't unexpected.

Since I had no idea where to have her served with divorce papers, I had to go before the judge ex parte and explain that her whereabouts were unknown, and that she had basically abandoned the marriage. I had to take out an ad in the paper of her last known city of residence for a month, and if she still hadn't come forward, then they'd proceed without her.

That's in my state. Laws in yours may vary. Whomever he retains for counsel will probably know.
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In California, this is called service by publication. It's very expensive.

ravenvii said:
You can - and easily, too. Just file divorce for reason of abandonment.

However, any judgment you get against her (property split, damages, child support, etc) will most likely be ineffectual.

I'm not a lawyer, so don't use this as legal advice.

My actual legal advice? Get a lawyer.
Click to expand...

This sounds like a default, which can take a while to get.

And yes, retain an attorney, or at least consult with one. This is not something you should do by yourself.
 
I'm assuming as much, it's a pretty crappy thing to say, IMO.

My wife is Japanese, and we are moving to America next week, so I guess she'd be a "boater" too.:rolleyes:
 
puma1552 said:
I'm assuming as much, it's a pretty crappy thing to say, IMO.

My wife is Japanese, and we are moving to America next week, so I guess she'd be a "boater" too.:rolleyes:
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Enjoy your 18 months, after that she's got a boyfriend and your bank accounts are drained.
 
Having been in the Navy I saw things like this happen far too many times.

Not that I condone the usage of the term boaters, I can understand and appreciate the angst in this situation. Seen a handful of friend open up their life to non- citizens only to come back from sea with literately nothing but a stack of over due credit card bills and an empty house.

I guess it's different when it hits close to home
 
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A friend is going through this. He's said it's all about time and money. Last I heard he was required by the court to take various specified steps to notify his missing wife of the proceeding. If she didn't respond within a set amount of time, which was not a short amount of time as I recall, then the court would proceed and he would "probably" get his divorce
 
My wife, from the Philippines, has been nothing but a joy. Her friends, also Filipinas, aren't gold-diggers, either. In her extended Filipino friends, I only have suspicions on one of them being a gold-digger; all the rest are happily married.

Maybe it's just Vietnamese and Russian women that are the gold-diggers. One of my Chinese friends is a gold-digger, come to think of it...

Compare this to American women. How many of them are gold-diggers?
 
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aarond12 said:
My wife, from the Philippines, has been nothing but a joy. Her friends, also Filipinas, aren't gold-diggers, either. In her extended Filipino friends, I only have suspicions on one of them being a gold-digger; all the rest are happily married.

Maybe it's just Vietnamese and Russian women that are the gold-diggers. One of my Chinese friends is a gold-digger, come to think of it...

Compare this to American women. How many of them are gold-diggers?
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Basically anyone who seeks a foreign husband for the sake of escaping a bad economic situation could be called a gold digger? They may fall in love, but you have to wonder if they don't view you as the bank and their escape route. I'm not implying that every woman from any 3rd world country is just using the person they marry. I sure many of them are in love. It could just be a love of convenience. ;) It does not even have to be a foreigner. This situation to ponder is faced by anyone of means dating someone of a lesser economic status.

Many years ago when I was in the USN serving in the Philippines (flying EP-3s), I got a chuckle from my crew of enlisted who swore off American woman as being too much trouble. Much easier to live with a door mat, at least until you get them back to the States were they are infected with freedom and independence. Lol.
 
Huntn said:
Basically anyone who seeks a foreign husband for the sake of escaping a bad economic situation could be called a gold digger? They may fall in love, but you have to wonder if they don't view you as the bank and their escape route. I'm not implying that every woman from any 3rd world country is just using the person they marry. I sure many of them are in love. It could just be a love of convenience. ;) It does not even have to be a foreigner. This situation to ponder is faced by anyone of means dating someone of a lesser economic status.

Many years ago when I was in the USN serving in the Philippines (flying EP-3s), I got a chuckle from my crew of enlisted who swore off American woman as being too much trouble. Much easier to live with a door mat, at least until you get them back to the States were they are infected with freedom and independence. Lol.
Click to expand...

A very good post, which makes a number of very good and telling points, and quite a welcome antidote to the unpleasant note of misogyny - indeed, and worse, racist misogyny - that was beginning to creep into this thread.

I have bolded two sentences which I think make interesting & thought-provoking points. Where there is a significant difference of economic status - and sometimes, of age, as well - between two people who date and subsequently marry, sometimes, such outcomes can be more likely.
 
Huntn said:
Basically anyone who seeks a foreign husband for the sake of escaping a bad economic situation could be called a gold digger? They may fall in love, but you have to wonder if they don't view you as the bank and their escape route. I'm not implying that every woman from any 3rd world country is just using the person they marry. I sure many of them are in love. It could just be a love of convenience. ;) It does not even have to be a foreigner. This situation to ponder is faced by anyone of means dating someone of a lesser economic status.
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Yeah, I think this is an interesting and relevant point. Perhaps one could think of it from a hierarchy of needs point of view - the desire for basic security and needs trumps everything else. I think it's unduly harsh to call all foreigners gold diggers.
 
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